Its all gone very wrong... but I WILL beat this debt!!!

hypno06

SarahNeedle1872 wrote: »

its strangely theraputic, and I get high on the fumes :rotfl:

Sx

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Sorry that things with OH are not improving. Must be putting an incredible strain on you.

Clurbur85

Hi Sarah,
I have just found your diary and I’ve subscribed as I really empathise with your situation…
I recently moved in with my OH, who has been having problems at work, he is refusing to face up to it and look for something else, so he is basically sleeping all day (while I’m at work) and sitting up all night on the computer… Its soul destroying leaving somebody in bed and finding them there when you come home. He is also depressed… but I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I am around £10,000 in debt myself… which is all my debt (not my OH’s) – he is around £2,000 in the red himself (which he is not dealing with – although I am starting to make progress with him facing up to it).
I don’t have a little one to look after myself, but it’s tough at times. I really wish I hadn’t got myself into such a financial mess. I’m so glad for the MSE forums… it’s nice to have some support.
Anyway, we must stay possitive - at least we have had out LBM and we are facing up to things!!
Good luck with everything… I look forward to reading your updates.
Claire xxxx

SarahNeedle1872

Thank you both, it is a strain because as we are at the minute, for the first time ever, I will be unable to pay even the minimums on all the debt. I am very worried about that!

Phoned TCs yesterday and they asked 100 questions about earnings for this year and projected earning for next year.... so have tried to figure that out plus get all the details for the nursery sorted, and will be calling them back shortly. Then I need to phone the Council about HB - oh the joy!

My main task for today is to get OH to call to make an appt at the job centre... because he hasn't been for a week or so since he was last meant to go, apparently he now has to make an appt to explain why! Unfortunately he spent most of last night downstairs on the computer, so is now asleep!!! Trying to motivate him to do anything in nigh on impossible, and I am starting to feel very resentful and dare I say, hateful. He is not helping at all around the house, but doesn't seem to care! He's also fallen out with his family about a couple of things so thinks the best thing to do is hide in bed all day!!

*sigh*

SarahNeedle1872

Phoned them..... they're taking Industrial Action today!! Cracking!

postingalwaysposting

Hi Sarah,

So sorry to see you are in this situation yet again with your OH. It would seem he just can't be bothered to provide for his family. Its sad to look on and see that and even more worse that you are having to cope alone ~ again! I hope he has a lightbulb moment and decides something needs to be done. After all you can't keep dragging a dead weight.

With regards to your debts, they can't have what you dont have. I would start by sending out token payment letters beofre it gets too bad. I am sure once he gets a job you can then start increasing your payments again. Don't feel guilty because you can't make the min payemnts, your Oh losing his job was out of your control... However you, yet again are picking up the pieces. Huge hugs for doing it.

Stay strong Sarah :A

beanielou

Blimey Sarah not sure what to say.
Might it help if he moved out for a while so you could see where you are at?
Cant be easy

SarahNeedle1872

beanielou wrote: »

Blimey Sarah not sure what to say.
Might it help if he moved out for a while so you could see where you are at?
Cant be easy

Yeah it probably would, but he won't go because he can't afford to rent anywhere, his family won't have him back at theres, and he doesn't actually see there's anything wrong with our relationship!

Sx

Jo_R_2

Sarah - that must be really hard for you.

Have you sat him down and explained his behaviour is unacceptable? Are you not in a relationship with a family but effectively running the household single-handedly? Maybe he needs that confrontation (albeit a grown-up but this-is-the-bottom-line one) because it's simply not fair on you to shoulder all this responsibility - I'm not surprised you're starting to feel resentful and worse.

SarahNeedle1872

I have Jo, but he doesn't take it in! It's all about him... 'You don't know what it's like, I can't even buy beer and fags' etc etc. When my response is ' I can't even afford to buy a loaf of bread until payday' he accuses me of being over-dramatic!! Yet he can swan around the house muttering under his breath and 'for fuff sake'ing all the time. I pointed out to him that if he'd bothered to go to the job centre last week, we would have had some money!!

He has, however just filled in applications for two jobs at a local warehouse, so that's a start!

Mostly I'm angry at myself for loving him!!!

Sx

*Jellie*

Big hugs Sarah- wish I could do something to help.
Maybe you should send him to savingholmes for life coaching!