Please help - URGENT

My_Feet_Hurt

I have written about my rescued cat, Tom, on another thread about bad gingivitus in cats.
She is around 18 years old and although we`ve only had her 2 years, she is totally part of our family.
She has mouth problems and has been having regular injections to cope with this for the last 8 months-seems to work quite well for her.
However.
A few weeks ago she started to breath with her mouth open to inhale. She closed it again to exhale. This happens a few times a day and sometimes it seems like she chokes and has to cough when she does it. She purrs constantly and this awkward breathing seems to wrack her body and she actually rocks backwards and forwards when she breathes.
Her back legs seem to be getting weak. When she wakes up it takes a while for her legs to get going, and sometimes she slightly stumbles.
She doesn`t eat much now. On a good day- when we were willing - she would eat nearly 2 tins of cat food. Now she has about 1 tablespoon of food a day - sometimes not even that.
Her days are filled with sunbathing-weather permitting-and her pace of life has dramatically slowed down over the last 2 months.
Because of the awful place she came from I swore she would never suffer anything again in her life.
I told my husband that we needed to take her to the vet. I think that maybe it`s her time. He says we will just ask the vet to check her over, but they suggested putting her to sleep before just because of her mouth problems, so I`m sure that they will say it now when she has more wrong with her.
I`m so upset as I write this, but my question is - how do you know when it`s time? I am such an emotional person that if the vet DOES suggest it, I will go through with it because I`m having such a terrible time with feelings of guilt right now that I couldn`t bring her home and have to go through this again in a few months time if/when she gets worse.
I feel like I am letting her down. I promised she would have a wonderful life with me-and she has-but now I think I`m bringing her death early and maybe she will be fine, but if I make that appointment-even if it`s just for a check up-the chances are they will want her to go.
I`m sorry this is long but I`m so terribly worried.

Thankyou.

UKTigerlily

Aww my heart goes out to you, you sound like you love her very much, not many would even take on an old Rescue. I think you just know when it's time, if she's suffering or in pain & it can't be relieved kindly (By that I mean I personally wouldn't put an 18yr old through lots of injections, vet visits, pills etc)

I don't think the Vet would suggest it if they truely didn't feel it was for the best, but gut instinct works for me, I think they let you know & deep down you probably do know

Wishing you & kitty all the best, it does sound like she has a wonderful life with you, but i'd definitely take her to the Vet & have a chat x

My_Feet_Hurt

Thank you.
I guess I do know deep down.
The fact that I`m sat here bawling my eyes out says it all.
Thankyou for your kind words.

RacyRed

Aaaaw bless you Hun, as you say, deep down, you already know. Trust your instincts, you know her and love her.

Have you considered having the vet come to you to keep this as stress free as possible for Tom? Give her a lovely day then let her sleep quietly.

Having stood before in the shoes you are wearing today, and knowing that one day, I'll have to wear them again, I'm in tears too now.

So please forgive me for the little pun on your user name. If ever you needed a little smile, now is the time.

We are here for you and for Tom.
xxx

My_Feet_Hurt

Thank you.
I had been reading so back threads about people who have done this, and I love the idea.
Maybe I should ring them and ask what they do along those lines.
Right now Tom is laying on the rug..purring for England without a care in the world. I really need someone to make this decision for me.
I`m so scared I`ve got it wrong and that she will be fine soon.

ActionCat

I really feel for you - it's such an awful situation to be in. And it's hard because you're desperately trying to separate out your own feelings to try and work out what's best for your cat.

Only a few months ago I had to have one of my cats put to sleep. We'd only had her 3 months and we had got her from a rescue centre. Like you, we just felt overwhelming guilt about not wanting her to suffer, particularly because she had just gone through a lot of trauma recently. And over the last 2 weeks, we kept asking the vet "When is the right time to let her go?". And we really struggled with the idea that we would have to decide...not wanting her to suffer before she went but not taking her away too soon. We had to hand feed her flakes of tuna and often she would vomit not long after. And she was skin and bones. But she would also sit next to us and purr when we stroked her gently and she seemed almost content. But then on a Sunday evening, we just knew. I think she knew too. She stopped eating completely and just sat next to us but just seemed a lot quieter and just...sadder. The next morning we asked the vet to come out and she was put to sleep sitting in her favourite place.

It wasn't easy and I still feel so guilty that I took away her life but I couldn't bear for her to suffer knowing that she wouldn't get any better. On the other hand, I have found the grief easier to deal with than with my other cat who died suddenly in the night. Probably because you do a lot of grieving 'in advance'.

Sorry for my long-winded reply but I just wanted to say that, yes it is a difficult decision but you will make the right decision so don't worry. And that you have given Tom a wonderful last few years of life so be proud

ActionCat

My_Feet_Hurt

thank you so much
please bare with me tom is sat with me on the pc so its awkward to type and im still crying
what you said was lovely

Naughty_Sausage

We lost our cat (Rosco) a few months ago. It was devastating. When we told my 4 year old, she cried non stop for half an hour and kept saying that her heart had broken in two. Absolutely awful.

The way we looked at it was, your pet has been your friend and companion for a long time. You need to do your best by them and give them dignity to the end. We also found that it was important to us to remember Rosco during the 'good old days' like when he bought a frog onto our bed at 6.30 on a Sunday morning or when he was picking a fight with the Stafordshire Bull Terrier down the road. Not when he was in pain, miserable and snapping at the kids cos he was so unhappy.

Hope this helps

NS x

My_Feet_Hurt

thank you
i was just saying to tom as shes laying here that i love her so much
and shes still purring but her body is rocking again
read on vets website it could be pneumonia or tumour causing this way of breathhing
im dreading my husband coming home-hes made an appointment but i dont know what time
he emailed me earlier and said dont worry-the vet might be able to give her something to perk her up
i dont know what to do-false hope
i cant go through this again
i want to just sit with her all day

RacyRed

That fear is very understandable, but try to trust your instincts. I am sure every one of us who has been where you are now has been raddled with doubts too. Deep down you know, but you want someone to come along and tell you that there is hope yet. You want so much to be wrong.

See the vet and discuss the breathing problem with them, see what they say.

Sweetheart, please don't forget that cats also purr when they are distressed. The breathing problem is not a good sign. It may not be that today is the day, or even tomorrow but she is 18 and not doing so well, this doesn't sound like something that is going to get better on its own.

You love her and have made her last years as comfortable and happy as possible, Tom found kindness at a time when many wouldn't have given her a chance, she is blessed and so are you.

Where do you find the answer? Look into Tom's eyes and let her tell you, she will.

xxx

lowis

my heart goes out to you. it is the hardest decision we have to make.
the fact that the food intake is down to a tablespoon a day would concern me, but then again she isn't expending any energy, but it is still a tiny amount of food. the poor breathing and weak legs are not great signs...

spend some time with Tom today, she will let you know, as Racy Red states above, just look into her eyes. eighteen is a fanatastic age for a cat to get too, she obviously loves you very much and has done her best to stick around for as long as possible and experience a loving mummy and wonderful home

if you and Tom decide the time is right i would second asking the vet come out to see you, it really is a very peaceful experience
x