Daughter and an older "boyfriend"

alwaysonthego_2

swiss69 wrote: »

)

(Do you never read the press or watch the news?)

No I don't as they have a habit of hyping things up to scare parents in to being over protective and they wrap their children in cotton wool.

I oo not agree with the op's daughter lying to her but if you overreact you push them in the opposite direction.

As I predicted in my first post (#2) it has soon fizzled out.

lolababy

Hi your daughter has sought your advice and should be commended for it. Id stipulate that you meet up with him first and get to know him. Your daughter could have gone behind your back but has not so sounds like she has her head screwed on.

newcook

Im sat on the fence with this one - while I have always gone out with older guys (when I was 15 my boyfriend was 20) I often look back and wonder what the hell a MAN was doing dating a CHILD.

Its not necessarily the age difference it’s the fact its borderline !!!!!philia - in a year or 2 the age difference wont matter so much and in a few years the age gap wont be an issue but at the moment its, well, a little icky!

A few of my friends have a big age gap between them and their bf's (one couple has 17 years difference - friend is closer to his sons age than her bf's!) but the main point is they are all adults.

dixie_dean_2

The lad may have just realised that its gonna be too much hassle for all involved given that people are so het up about age.

red_devil

A 23 year should know better than chase a 15 year old girl.[/QUOTE]

why perhaps he liked her/got on with her!

there are bigger gaps than that around.

dixie_dean_2

Liked her? Got on with her? Never heard anything so ridiculous, he's clearly a !!!!!phile, a sex-obssessed maniac intent on only one thing. As if a young man could like a young woman. Ludicrous.

red_devil

very good, i take that was tongue in cheek:D

Mutter_2

I've deleted my post as I've seen you've sorted it. Sounds like you have a very nice daughter and a sound relationship. Are you going to keep this from Dad? Sometimes what they don't know, won't hurt them, daddy's girl and all that.

Gavin83

SugarSpun wrote: »

I'd tackle the lying and the passworded phone first and get to the boyfriend later.

Whats wrong with having a passworded phone? Surely she's entitled to some form of privacy? If you start looking through your childrens phone they'll just find another way to communicate or delete the messages once they've received them and then not talk to you about anything. It's just a little counterproductive.

durham_girl wrote: »

I don't think so. Maybe if she was reported as missing, but not for just being with him.

Im fairly sure theres nothing wrong legally with a adult dating a minor, as long as they don't have sex.

newcook wrote: »

Its not necessarily the age difference it’s the fact its borderline !!!!!philia - in a year or 2 the age difference wont matter so much and in a few years the age gap wont be an issue but at the moment its, well, a little icky!

Why? At 15 girls would be sexually mature and would look like a woman of any age in that respect, it's only natural that a man would find them attractive. It's only what society has told us to think, in my cultures a 20 year old man sleeping with a 15 year old girl would be expected, let alone accepted.

I can see why people would have a problem with it in legal terms but it's really no worse than a man dating a 16 year old as physically and mentally that year makes little difference. If you had a man taking an interest in preteen girls then that is a much more serious issue and true !!!!!philia, but thats another topic entirely.

From his reaction to your phone call it does sound like he had nothing more than sex on his mind so she's probably had a lucky escape. With all due respect though, at 15 I doubt she's really looking for a serious relationship and she probably had similar things on her mind.

newcook

Gavin83 wrote: »

I can see why people would have a problem with it in legal terms but it's really no worse than a man dating a 16 year old as physically and mentally that year makes little difference. If you had a man taking an interest in preteen girls then that is a much more serious issue and true !!!!!philia, but thats another topic entirely.

I hate to disagree with you but as I am female I can assure you that 1 year does make a lot of difference - for starters you leave school (or go to 6th form/college etc) which means you leave behind your school uniform.

at 16 you are legally old enough to leave home, have sex, play the lottery, etc. you are a lot more emotionally mature (though there is still some way to go - not that you beleive anyone who tells you that!).

This is just an assumption from your name but Im guessing you are 24/25 and male? you are only a year or 2 older than OP's 15yo daughters boyfriend - would you date a 16/17 year old?!? or would you think there is something wrong with that?!?!!?!?