Advice please!

Snuggles

EL321 wrote: »

I'd rather that at the end we were 50/50 to be honest - that to me would make it more of a 'partnership' - he can make up what I've put down over the years as he earns more, so to me that would make more sense than saying '70% will be mine and 30% yours'. Would you agree?xx

But what if you split up two years down the line, before he's had chance to "make up" what you've put down? These things happen.

Please be realistic and protect your money.

haras_nosirrah

The tennants in common - 70/30 would only make a difference if you split up. As long as you view it as belonging to both of you and live together for the rest of your lives then you will never have an issue with your share being more.

You would need to ensure that you each 'will' your share to each other and then it would be the same as joint ownership.

Where it makes a difference is if you ever did split up then you would have protected your money from your previous property and could buy something in the future.

The lady I bought my house from owned the house before meeting her ex husband. He cheated on her years after getting married and got half the house by which time she was priced out the market and is now two years later still living in a friends spare room.

This is what has made me decide to go the tennants in common approach as as much as I love my partner I want to protect myself and if he loves you he will understand that and not take offense.

EL321

I think the tennants in common might be a good option, I've had a quick read up about it and if I'm sorting my will out as well then that will tie in with it. The more I think about it the more I know that when I show him the 'figures' he will understand, I think he just hasnt thought that I will be 'out of pocket' as such. Why is it when you have a bit of money it causes you more trouble!!!! Thats why I dont try the lottery!
Thanks for all your advice - I've not yet had the courage to talk to him about it but I will, it might be after I go to the solicitor as that would be a way of bringing it up.xx

SuzieSue

EL321 wrote: »

I think the tennants in common might be a good option, I've had a quick read up about it and if I'm sorting my will out as well then that will tie in with it. The more I think about it the more I know that when I show him the 'figures' he will understand, I think he just hasnt thought that I will be 'out of pocket' as such. Why is it when you have a bit of money it causes you more trouble!!!! Thats why I dont try the lottery!
Thanks for all your advice - I've not yet had the courage to talk to him about it but I will, it might be after I go to the solicitor as that would be a way of bringing it up.xx

All the advice you have been given is spot on - my friend was in exactly the same situation as you. Owning the property as tenants in common is absolutely essential or you will lose out big time. My friend's husband was a bit like your boyfriend - he didn't have any savings at all and wanted to buy the latest flat screen tv etc, but they are now married and have a little girl, so it it possible for things to work out, but you need to be careful and make sure you see a good solicitor.

GSXRCarlos

All the advice given is great, all i can add is to wish you best of luck, and let us know how you get one

Chinkle

I think you should take him with you to the solicitors so it feels like you are making the decision together on how you should register your individual interests in the property and also what would happen should you split. There are a lot of financial decisions you will have to make together as a couple buying a house and therefore you will need to be much more open and honest with each other. If you can share a bed ....

SuzieSue

Chinkle wrote: »

I think you should take him with you to the solicitors so it feels like you are making the decision together on how you should register your individual interests in the property and also what would happen should you split. There are a lot of financial decisions you will have to make together as a couple buying a house and therefore you will need to be much more open and honest with each other. If you can share a bed ....

I agree that they should do things together, but I think that the intial meeting with the solicitor should be on her own so that she can be open with the solcitor, after all, it is her money and not theirs jointly. She can tell him that she is going if she wants to and he should be present at any further meetings as it affects him.

EL321

What I was thinking of saying to him was that I am going to the solicitors to see regarding wil, then say she mentioned about a contract and asking him to come with me for another appointment. I know what you mean about the husband thing wanting to buy a flat screen etc, my partner was looking for a video camera yesterday, fair enough to take vids of our new puppy, but for me that is not essential and we need to wait and see what money we have after moving in, we will have other things more important to get first! Saying that he knows I need a new car (its only a 3 door and I'll need a 5 door for when puppy turns to dog!!) and has been helping me look and I have also started to hint that I will not be on 'as much money as I thought'....so I have planted the seed in his head so to speak and me asking him to pay a bit more towards the mortgage might not come as quite such a surprise. Its also difficult to sit down and talk about finances just yet because we dont know exactly what he will get (if any) from the sale of his house, fees etc and how much the bank will lend us, we may need to make it up with just a few thousand from my parents. xx

SuzieSue

EL321 wrote: »

What I was thinking of saying to him was that I am going to the solicitors to see regarding wil, then say she mentioned about a contract and asking him to come with me for another appointment. I know what you mean about the husband thing wanting to buy a flat screen etc, my partner was looking for a video camera yesterday, fair enough to take vids of our new puppy, but for me that is not essential and we need to wait and see what money we have after moving in, we will have other things more important to get first! Saying that he knows I need a new car (its only a 3 door and I'll need a 5 door for when puppy turns to dog!!) and has been helping me look and I have also started to hint that I will not be on 'as much money as I thought'....so I have planted the seed in his head so to speak and me asking him to pay a bit more towards the mortgage might not come as quite such a surprise. Its also difficult to sit down and talk about finances just yet because we dont know exactly what he will get (if any) from the sale of his house, fees etc and how much the bank will lend us, we may need to make it up with just a few thousand from my parents. xx

I know it is very difficult talking about finances especially when you both have different views about what is "essential". Unfortuntately, there is no right or wrong answer and belive me, most couples have more arguments about money than anything else. My friend is still not happy with the way her husband spends money, but at the end of the day, she has got a beautiful daughter and he has many other good points, so she is prepared to live with it. Living together is all about give and take and compromises. It really depends how much it gets to you and how unbearable it makes your life. It is possible to change someone's views about spending money, but it is very difficult and I wouldn't count on it. You need to tell him how you feel about him buying a video recorder and see what his reaaction is. He may not have realised how you feel about it.

ClaudiaC_3

what about having a chat with him, he is your partner isn't he?
If you have a good relationship, which I assume you have or you wouldn't be buying a house together, then you should be able to discuss money with him too.
Then take it from there. I am sure he will understand that you cannot predict the future and even if at the moement you both feel that you will be together forever, things happen and you cannot predict how and when. So you need to make sure that things are done in a fair way.

Your solicitor will point out this to you when itc omes to it anyway I would think. If the money from the sale of your own property which is in your name only goes towards buying a property in joint name, I think that they will need you to sign a form that you are happy for this to happen.

So it will come out at some point.

I could be wrong about that, but I have just had a similar experience in reverse.
We are selling our jointly owned property and buying a bigger one which will be in my sole name (for various reasons it would have been too messy to involve his side of the business this time as he deals in properties).
My partner had to sign an agreement to use the profit made from the sale of our house to purchase the property that is now in my name only.

So there must be something in place when it happens the other way around?

To be honest, I wouldn't go behind his back to a solicitor, just talk to him first and let him know how you feel about the 50/50 monthly payment.
Personally I think a 50/50 is fair if when you come to sell the property again you take the money you have put as your deposit + interests and then split the profit 50/50 too.

Or even better, if you pay 50/50 mortgage and bills, I think you already own 48% of the property + another 26% (i.e. 52 divided by 2) so when you sell the house you should get full 48% + 26% of the profit.

Talk to him about it and then get a solicitor to draw up a contract. There is no way he will refuse as it makes perfect sense.

Good luck, it is horrible having to mix lrelationship and money things, but taht goes to show how serious yoru relationship is I suppose!