Advice please!

pinkshoes

How long have you been with this guy?? If I was buying a house with someone who was putting in a LOT of equity, I would be making very sure their money was protected and that I didn't come across as money grabbing!

I have £10k more equity than my OH, so we both pay an equal amount into the property, and if it's ever sold, then I get £10k back first, then whatever is left is split 50/50.

I could have opted to have the £10k as a % of the property, so would get X% back when it was sold, but this is only worth it if you plan to stay in the property for a LONG time.

I think your OH sounds like an ar*e.

Rockporkchop

So your "plan" is that you are putting in £300 a month less than him in return for putting £80,000 into a joint property? That's fine then - if you save the extra £300 a month you will have easily replenished your account again in a mere 20 years or so. Does that really seem like a good deal to you? You shouldn't be worrying about the few hundred or so a month, you should be sorting out how to safeguard your deposit and putting formalities in place to ensure that you have the majority share of the house, if you are insistent on buying a joint property with this man.

I would hate to see you posting on here in a year's time saying that you have split and your OH is claiming half the house.

Fire_Fox

EL321 wrote: »

He owes his mum and dad £5000 from when he bought his house three years ago so I think I would be waiting a long time!! His house wont make a profit, or much of one anyway - thats not his fault and I dont feel resentful of that, but I will feel resentful if I dont feel he is making up for the fact that I have put in a lot of money into it.

f we earned about the same I would not worry about it so much, but its the fact that he will be better off than me that has made me think hang on your onto a good thing here and I'm going to be struggling!! Also, I want to buy a new car - he has bought one not long ago on finance, I am the sort of person who would prefer to have the money myself before I buy - this way I wont be able to save a bit more in my savings to buy one, which will make me even more resentful!!!!

When I speak to him and show him my 'plan' I guess I will know whether he is being selfish or just hasnt thought. Thing is he is a decent lad, and I know I've portrayed him bad, I agree he is not good with money, but I think that also he just hasnt really thought. - he probabaly sees it as just 'equity' not money I've 'earned' and he wont have sat down and thought of all the figures as I have (being a woman!).

What if he's so rubbish with money that he ends up with a charge against your joint house? If you split you could lose half the equity; if he messes up you could lose eighty thousand pounds. Have you spoken to your solicitor about the appropriate documents to protect this money? I would also check with the bank to see if you can pay your half of the mortgage directly, and he pay his half directly. If you have a joint account you have no proof that you paid half the mortgage it just looks like he paid more.

jenny74

Rockporkchop wrote: »

Ditto!

If I was in your position I would purchase the house entirely in my name and let your OH stay there and pay you £500 a month rent. You would be better off financially. With the way you are thinking (all this faffing about percentages etc) you would be mad to invest such a huge amount of money in a joint house purchase. He doesn't sound that great with money and you would be mad to tie yourself to him financially at this stage.

I agree totally with this.

EL321

I have arranged to go and see a solicitor, but I feel like I am going behind his back. I need to get the guts up to tell him that we need to talk about the finances, and then show him my plan. I am a coward when it comes to these sorts of things though. He bought his car literally a week before we just started to discuss about buying a new house, if we had already talked about it then I suppose I would be more peed off, I am just more careful I suppose and would not want to buy a car on finance, unless it was absolutely necessary - if I was him I would have paid his mum and dad back first or at least started to before getting a new car which wasnt desperate. The only other thing he might be thinking is that he will add in his own extra money to pay the mortgage off quicker - but even so that is up to him and he could decide not to if he fancied spending it on something for himself. To be fair he has let me not pay rent to him over the summer because I am half here and half in my parents working over the summer, I used to pay him 250 a month rent and help out with the shopping. Maybe I have been a bit harsh on him and I just need to make him see that I am actually giving up quite a lot giving my £80,000. xx

clutton_2

you must go to see a solicitor, get their advice on YOUR protection then sit down and talk to him seriously - unless you get proper legal advice you stand to lose £80k .....

what you must think about now, is even if you have a great marraige and some children, and then further down the line you divorce, you would really kick your self if you had protected this £80k = their future.

i think he is not good with money, and i think he is taking you for granted - not a good way to start a relationship.

i agree with your buying the house now in your own name and charging him rent. if you do marry then the law will take its course and you will become joint owners then. if he really l oves you he will understand this

debrag

When a friend of mine got a house with his then girlfriend, she put down the deposit and they split the rent, not sure how the other bills worked out. He was paid more though not sure after household bills came out who was better off. Just get a good lawyer if you divorce &/or get a prenup (however it's spelt) if not already married. She was better off in the end - deposit back plus share of sale (enough to buy house out right) and % of his pensions (I will always think that is wrong).

EL321

The problem is I could not get a mortgage on my own at the moment because I am starting a new job in September (although I have paid mortgage to the same back for 11 years and been in same job for that amount of time, they are being 'careful' with them being so careful with giving mortgages its difficult at the moment).
To be honest I dont think I could do that anyway as its not really being 'together', but I do see your point though.xx

DVardysShadow

EL321 wrote: »

The problem is I could not get a mortgage on my own at the moment because I am starting a new job in September (although I have paid mortgage to the same back for 11 years and been in same job for that amount of time, they are being 'careful' with them being so careful with giving mortgages its difficult at the moment).
To be honest I dont think I could do that anyway as its not really being 'together', but I do see your point though.xx

'really being together' - you cannot do this on your own, you cannot argue or force him to this position. If he cannot walk some of the way to this position without your involvement, it cannot happen. I am a bloke, trust me on this.

Put simply, whatever else works out about this relationship money will be the killer, it will break your heart.

Gillianh2

I do think you need to get some sound legal advice about this. Your BF doesnt seem too savvy as far as money is concerned. And £80,000 is an awful lot of money gosh in some parts of the country you can buy a house for a little more than that. Please go carefully.xx