Benbenandme's Coffee Shop ... All welcome!

skint_spice

My ex and I do things together with DS sometimes BB and we are quite friendly (just don't make me live with the man!) and I think in some ways this maybe confused DS more when he was little as he didn't see that we were only friends as we were apart. So don't feel guilty about that one! I don't think there's any easy solution just let him call his dad whenever he wants to and as they get older hopefully it doesn't seem so bad (to my DS anyway).

Keeping_Motivated

Do you think it would help if you bought him a book in 'childrens language' that explains about seperation etc and you both read it together when he feels sad? Might help him understand/cope a little better? Here's a link to some suggestions
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Two-Homes-Claire-Masurel/dp/0744589258/ref=pd_sim_b_4

Smart_Mart

I think my two just about understand why mummy and daddy don't live together but I'm sure they'd rather have us all in one house. I think by memory that BBAM's "twunty-ex" lives away so popping round in addition to normal contact might be difficult ( sorry if I'm talking out of turn, BBAM)..

Mind you, mine are older than B hence they should understand better. It was awful to start with as I was around there every day for six months after we split as they were so young and she couldn't really cope. BBAM makes a very good fist of bringing B up by herself....

Tricky situation really but it doesn't sound like he's going to change anytime soon!

benbenandme

I think he may have been really tired tonight, normally he is unsettled when he comes back but I dont normally have this crying about us not being together, will see how he is tomorrow, often when daddy phones he doesnt want to talk to him anyway because he's busy with Lego or some other more important task, so he cant miss him that much :rolleyes:

benbenandme

Thankyou SM, yep twunty lives quite a way away (thank god) and has recently moved house (yet again), so that may be part of whats unsettled ds this time.

We ordered that book from the library KM, ds thought it was boring :rolleyes: We talked about how its similar to him etc etc but he wanted to take it back and get a thomas book instead if i remember rightly

skint_spice

That sounds really familiar BB, I used to get crying on sunday night but then he was too busy to talk half the time during the week. I did say to him to imagine how he would feel if his dad said he was too busy to talk so now he does talk... I thought feeling bad was to do with school and realising that almost everyone lived with "mum and dad" but now he's fine - it did take a wee while though.

p.s. ds is currently "counselling" a friend who's parents have broken up, so they do come out the other side!

Smart_Mart

I think kids nowadays accept more than ever that a lot of children live in two homes. The football team I help run has eighteen children there and eight of them have parents who have split up. Some live in one parent families and almost all of them have dads who are NRP's but who spend little or no time with them....

Maybe he's getting tired of the travelling inbetween the houses. I'm lucky in that I live 2.5 miles from the twins and could get there in five minutes if needs be but if he's had a tiring weekend plus a long drag in the car, might just have got on top of him.

Extar cuggles in the morning, I should think!

benbenandme

Ds seems a lot better today, but ex did say he'd phone him tonight so I'm hoping that doesn't set him off again

Not sure why but I seemed to have a really good nights sleep, woke up before the alarm, did the bingo (no wins again), and got ready for school and was ready with 20 minutes to spare, managed to get some tidying done and am reaping the benefits tonight, everywhere is tidy, chicken is roasting in the oven, ds lunchbox is clean and ready for the morning, all his uniform is hung up ready for tomorrow and I'm feeling smug and organised for a change

Nothing new in the banking again today, I really need to crack on with some moneymaking again this week, feels like I haven't done much recently

benbenandme

I've just spent a lot of money on something that I think should make mesome profit but it feels risky for some reason although I'm sure it will be fine I ordered cd's from tesco using the offer on the grabbit board, basically on certain titls they are giving 500 extra points (x 4 in deals), so have ordered the following cd's; JLS, Leona Lewis, Will Young, Now 74, Rihanna and Robbie Williams. I was going to buy the Will Young one anyway. Total cost = £56, 8% quidco should be approx £4.50, 3000 points to come which is worth £120 in deals. I will probably stick most of the cd's on BIN's on ebay and sell them for just below their retail price, so hopefully should do nicely out of this one

hypno06

I've used the same offer for a couple of Christmas presents and to treat myself to a little bit of Robbie

I reckon it is a good deal, and the deals are well worth taking that risk for, I think!