My new SOA - need motivation

kizandcorez

I'll be your sister adopt me please! like others have said she is taking the mick out of you you need to stand up for yourself or you will be paying for her the rest of you life

pelirocco

Ames wrote: »

Hi all. Now my ex is leaving I've decided to do a new SOA. I know what you're already going to say, but maybe if people tell me I'll actually do it! I haven't used the template, because most of it doesn't apply and so I need to explain things as I go.

Number of adults: 1
Number of children: 0
Cars: 1.

Rent from council, get benefits and so no rent or council tax.

Income: 920 (this is per 4 weeks, but I get in a mess if I work it out per month as most months the income is less, and so for the first year I have to base it on four weekly amounts until I've got the spare money saved to cover it).

Outgoings:

Electric: 41
Water: 28 (have permission for a water meter, it's on my list of things to sort out in the next few weeks)
Food (sister): 120 (She's unemployed and I buy her food. No idea how long this will go on for. Can't lower this as she complains it's not enough as it is)
Food (me): 120 (Can't lower this, I have ME and can't batch cook or cook from scratch due to fatigue and pain. Have to buy ready prepared food which is more expensive.
Credit union savings: 5
Petrol: 80 (hopefully this will go down with ex going, but as I have limited mobility I have to drive everywhere. It's a motability car so no other car costs).
Tv licence: 12
Landline: 15
Broadband: 10
Sky tv: 35 (I know I need to get rid)
Mobile: 10 (I prefer to make calls to mobiles using this so I know where I am instead of running up bills. My sister only has a mobile. I get free texts)
Insurance: 12 (I don't have this yet, but it's on my list to sort out asap)
Cleaner: 50 (This is a guesstimate based on £10 an hour. I'm thinking I'll need an hour a week for basic cleaning of the flat, and a deeper clean every two or three months)
Personal spending: 100 (this includes presents, entertainment, hairdressing, clothes etc).
Holiday: 30 (I like to go to Leeds festival every year, I could cut it out for a year or two though I suppose)

Total: 658.
Now the things I need to save up for:

Next month I'm going to Leeds festival with my sister, so I need £100 for our food, drink, and a new trangia stove.

Home things: I need more storage, and the place is getting rewired next year, so I need to save up for redecorating costs. I've recently got a grant for a sofa and bed but need to put money towards. So in the next few months I need £100, and then over the next 18 months I need to save up around £500.

I've got a holiday booked in December, I need £100 for the holiday, then spending money. It's only for three days though, but the friends I'm going with have expensive tastes and usually want to drink in rounds etc. I think I need £150 to make sure I have enough.

Education: Over the next three years I need £100 per year for OU courses, then in the fourth year I need around £3500 for a masters.

Debts: I want to clear these within the next year to 18 months, I think for full and finals I'll need to save up around £1200.

Car repairs: My car has been vandalised and I need an insurance claim which is £75.

If there are any maths geniuses out there who can work out how much I need to save towards each one a month that'd be great, I've been trying to work it out myself but my brain packed its bags and ran away!

I'm waiting for a social services assessment and may need to pay for some of the care, when I was assessed last time I didn't have to pay though so I'm working on the assumption that I wont this time.

Please be harsh, but don't be judgemental.

How do you manage Leeds festival ,? I would have thought it was tiring , plus if you can manage to cook there whats the differnce at home? I agree your sister should cook for you , you could feed 2 for the amount you spend on 1

Ames

I get a free ticket for a carer. My sister does the cooking. I just have to walk to the disabled viewing platform every day, and there's a shortcut from the disabled campsite which is nearer anyway. She is good in that she'll go queue for things for me while we're there, and she carries things to and from the campsite for me.

My sister can't cook for me, we have different food needs. When she's stressed she loses weight and so she needs different food than me, as I've got six stone to lose. That's on the advice of my nhs health trainer who's helping me to lose weight.

BeautyandtheBeast_3

i hope you manage to come to some arrangement soon.

Ames

I've just been a wimp and facebooked her about it. I've told her I'm cutting it to £100 every four weeks and then cutting it more in a couple of months. I did it that way instead of face to face so that I can be stronger in case she tries to talk me out of it, I can take time to think of a reply through FB instead of doing it on the phone or face to face.

Apart from my sister, does anyone have any thoughts about the rest of my SOA?

spiderdijon

Hi Ames,

I think your SOA looks really good. The only thing I think you can reduce (obviously apart from the whole sister thing which you are working on) is the entertainment money, perhaps you could break down the £100 figure to see where you can cut back there?

spiderdijon

I have tried to do maths to help you work out monthly amounts for all the things you listed on your OP. It's not everything but this is what I have (tried to) worked out so far:

Your OU course will need you to save £8.50 per month (that's £100 a year)

Your holiday is in 5 months and you want £250 so that's £50 per month

Your debts (if you pay them off over 18 months) will need £70 per month throwing at them.

Which still leaves you with £133.50 per month spare, which you can split up between the other things you need to pay (towards your sofa grant + leeds festival?)

Hope that helped?

Ames

Thanks spiderjohn.

I'll have to do a spending diary to work out the £100. Off the top of my head, this month I spent a tenner on going to the cinema, had a couple of starbucks' while waiting for people in town, spent about a fiver on stationery to try and get the piles of paperwork sorted, dipped into it for extra food when I saw loads of whoopsies to fill the freezer with, a fiver on books, a fiver on some reduced costume jewellery, a new bin and teatowels, some plants for the garden...

It's all been little things really, but they've all added up. I need to be stricter with myself about what I really need.

Ames

Thanks for the number crunching! I think that's helped.

edinburgher

Never mix family and money unless you have the money to give away :eek: They should never ask for luxury when you're scraping by yourself.

I don't care how much hassle and stress your sister throws your way - you need to reign her in and teach her not to mooch off her family on your terms. You'll end up in an early grave if you have to mother your relatives :mad:

I realise that this will be stressful and probably extra tiring with your illness, so take it gradually. Reducing the amount you give her is a great start - good for you :T You say she's not getting her Jobseeker's Allowance? Why not? It's simply not good enough that she isn't getting it - there needs to be a specific reason, you need to know what it is and she needs to fix it or take any job that comes her way. If she's bringing in absolutely no income she should take whatever comes her way - not just the jobs that appeal to her.

This isn't just another chiding message, but someone speaking from experience. I have an elder brother who borrowed money constantly from his siblings and my parents as he never managed his money. He's now £15k+ in debt, there's a bit of a wedge between him and the parents because they're now convinced that he's completely useless and it's just embarrassing whenever money is mentioned now....

Spiderdijon makes a really helpful point - splitting down future expenses over a set period of time (say £100 over 20 weeks is £5 a week) is a great way to save up. These small payments are 'banked' in either a reasonable savings account (or envelopes if you prefer) until the money is needed, meaning that you make more, smaller, payments over a fixed term. Envelope budgeting (I think Martin Lewis calls it 'piggybanking') is a popular and easy way to take the stress out of large one off costs in the future :beer: