Frightened to take the step

Verbatim

Hi Hetty,

Sorry you're feeling down just now. I hope it's as sunny where you are as it is here and if so perhaps a walk in the park or similar would help to lift your spirits?

hugs to you.

turfy6

Hi Hettie hope you are feeling a little better today. I'd agree with the other posters and perhaps your OH was just a bit down at the time.
You have come a long way so far and Im sure things will get better soon, keep smiling.:j

hettiecarro

Hi folks

Firstly thank you for all your support and faith in me.

'pick yourself and dust yourself down' - have done just that.

OH is very contrite at the moment and realises how much his comments knocked me - haven't got the energy to play games at the moment - but if I did would probably be making him suffer for it by now. :rotfl:

I understand that sometimes it's a straw that breaks the camels back - can you believe he has:

1. Given up his holiday
2. Given up his football trips away
3. Given up one car
4. Downgraded Sky (even though I didn't ask him to)
5. Taken control of the day to day budgets
6. Taken time off work to come to appointments with me

AND WHAT WAS THE STRAW?

I BOUGHT HIM OWN BRAND WEETABIX!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway - we are ok and he's back on side (and learning to like the cheaper weetabix :rotfl:

You must all think I am barking mad. One day I am all laughs and full of fun - the next day it's like someone turns the sunshine off.

Dancing Fairy - you must take a lot of the credit for re- energising me. Most of the posts I've read have said that you should treat all creditors the same, but that's when people are on a DMP normally. So following your post about whether I am in a position to make any offers yet OH is setting up a spreadsheet and we are working towards offering F & F's to clear the smaller of the debts - I'm sure this will do me good psychologically. I think to do it in manageable chunks is for the best - any thoughts from anyone?

However - as N'wide are being such a pain I am going to let them continue making pratts of themselves. I now have 8 letters from different people within the same department and today I have received a letter saying they are considering litigation proceedings and a charge against the house. I sent yet another letter with an updated S.O.A and have now passed the lot to the advocate/CAB.

Beneficial Finance (HSBC) are one of the creditors that agreed to the token payment. However, this morning I received a letter from them stating that they are discontinuing with credit card services at the end of the year. I wasn't going to bother asking them for a CCA because at least they have played ball with me - but should I do so? They have been taken over by at least 3 companies since I first had this card so there is a chance they won't have the CCA. It doesn't really sit comfortably with me to follow that route - the debt is still there even if unenforceable - answered my own question I suppose - and it may make them stroppy with me whereas they've been helpful to be fair.

Does anyone know how my OH can declare a beneficial interest in our house? Have seen this mentioned. He pays the mortgage although he is not officially joint owner - in fact as I mentioned before, the house is still in the name of my Mums estate - can't afford to transfer. But I understand this can affect the charging order.

A couple of bits from this week - some quite funny - some quite encouraging.

I decided to follow the old style board, so started making my own bread again - bear in mind this is on one of my 'not so rational' days - SO!
In go all of the ingredients (weighed carefully because I've now become Delia Smith all of a sudden) - only the water to add. Guessed it?
Had put everything straight into machine - not in drum - added water and watched in tears as the whole B***** lot trickled down the worksurface - onto the washing machine and finally ended up like a pile of Solvite on the floor! OMG what a mess :eek: :eek: - took me 2 hours to clean the damned thing - too late to make bread for the day.

Listed 15 things on ebay (though a bit worried about postal strikes) :j
Dog kennel should fetch £50 quid - Dog died 2 years ago - saw them in ebay.

Got ex to advertise my electric piano (he's a music teacher) - should go for about £400.

Took advantage of OH contrition and left whole pile of CD's next to the sofa with a post it note - Download me or lose me forever!!!!!

Finished re-docorating the bedroom - if I have to move I want the best price for this house - and if OH gets the hump again I'll have a nice room to move in to.

So - not bad progress this week - and of course it was all nicely punctuated by my now familiar 'calls of concern' from N'wide - They do after all guarantee to " Deal in a positive and sympathetic way with people who have unfortunately found themselves in difficulty" - Of course they realise I have planned all of this - there is nothing unfortunate about it !!!!!

Hope I don't descend into the depths in the next few days - more wall stripping to do.

Thanks again to all and big hugs. xxxx

Hettie

Verbatim

Hey you're sounding positive today. Your room sounds nice and good luck with all the ebaying.

I saw a grade 1 listed dog kennel at the weekend at Ightham Mote in Kent. looked perfectly ordinary to me and children were allowed inside. Takes 14 seven year olds allegedly.

Any other useless facts....I know, I'll get my coat.

Katy83

Hi Hettie,

Was thinking about you earlier (in a non-stalkerish concerned sort of way:rotfl:) and wondering how you were getting on. I'm happy to see you are feeling a bit more positive about things. You have come such a long way since you started this, please don't forget that.

For the own brand weetabix - get yourself back over to the OS board and read the sneaky ways to save pennies thread. The things people do over there to trick thier OHs are mad! Watered down milk and own brand washing up liquid in shampoo bottles and all sorts! Might be an idea to save your next weetabix box

xx

hettiecarro

Thanks Katy - why are men such children???

Katy83

I have no idea! It's a fine balance between humouring them and hitting them sometimes though, :rotfl:.

Karmacat

:rotfl:That really did make me laugh out loud. I'm glad I don't have to deal with all that!

Hettie, you sound a lot better in your big long post - its plain that OH had a strop, and was v sorry v soon after. I'm with you on the "decorating to get the best price for the place" - I was sawing branches yesterday for half an hour, so I could put them in the bin - I don't have a car, so I have to put them in the bottom of the bin so they'll disappear from view if the binmen do happen to look...........

Decorating comes next...........

Keep on keeping on - its all we can do, really. I'm waiting for an engineer, to see if my insurers will pay for some things on the boundary walls.

Katy_M_2

I find the best trick with the male species is to just make them think that it was their idea.

This works in all walks of life....whatever result it is that you are trying to achieve, as long as you can make them think it was their idea - the jobs a goodun.

Ok so you have to put up with letting them take the credit for something you have been planning for the last god knows how long - give them excessive praise and yarns of 'Oh what a fantastic idea - you are soo clever, how would the Earth continue to rotate without your input' even though you don't get a simple thanks for the endless amounts of things you do for them, but hey, they are only men after all.

:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p

Katy_M_2

Katy83 wrote: »

The things people do over there to trick thier OHs are mad! Watered down milk and own brand washing up liquid in shampoo bottles and all sorts! Might be an idea to save your next weetabix box

xx

Lol!!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: