Weekly Flylady Thread 27th July 2009

kazmeister

Thanks Dusty - and Triker you've done loads for someone who's not feeling well.

Triker

You like my new avatar?:D

greenbee

Triker wrote: »

You like my new avatar?:D

It's very striking. I need to get used to it - but it's not as exhausting as that d*mned panda

Hope you feel better soon. Try not to do too much. You need to be better so you can enjoy the weekend and celebrate your anniversary!

pigpen

Triker wrote: »

You like my new avatar?:D

Eye.. it is furry nice..

I didn't wantto complicate things by telling them about that lovely slinky beautiful friend I have a few streets away.. they might get really jealous!

I was thinking of a new avvy.. I may go spy on the pc what delights I have thereupon...

Triker

greenbee wrote: »

It's very striking. I need to get used to it - but it's not as exhausting as that d*mned panda

Hope you feel better soon. Try not to do too much. You need to be better so you can enjoy the weekend and celebrate your anniversary!

Its not a panda Greenbee, its a badger,badger,badger,badger,badger,badger,badger,badger,badger,mushroom, mushroom :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Thanks hun. x

greenbee

I've been sent a detailed role profile for a job I applied for, and I have to write up some supporting evidence for it and I can't be bothered...

... mind you, as they were supposed to send it through last night and didn't, do you think I can get away with saying that I didn't check my mail tonight, and try to do it sometime tomorrow?

It's too difficult... it needs my brain...

And I'm still upset... Pigpen doesn't love me enough to remember whether she's my friend :(:(

Triker wrote: »

Its not a panda Greenbee, its a badger,badger,badger,badger,badger,badger,badger,badger,badger,mushroom, mushroom :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Thanks hun. x

It was still too blimmin energetic

Triker

greenbee wrote: »

I've been sent a detailed role profile for a job I applied for, and I have to write up some supporting evidence for it and I can't be bothered...

... mind you, as they were supposed to send it through last night and didn't, do you think I can get away with saying that I didn't check my mail tonight, and try to do it sometime tomorrow?

It's too difficult... it needs my brain...

And I'm still upset... Pigpen doesn't love me enough to remember whether she's my friend :(:(



It was still too blimmin energetic

It depends if they had a read receipt on it?

pigpen

greenbee wrote: »

And I'm still upset... Pigpen doesn't love me enough to remember whether she's my friend :(:(

That's ok..DD2 is upset I can never remember her name.. she is the only one whose name totally escapes me on a regular basis... if I can't remember the names of my children, friends have no chance!

greenbee

Triker wrote: »

It depends if they had a read receipt on it?

Don't think it did (I'm pretty sure my webmail is set to tell me if they want them... and I'm not sure I read it in there, and my mail client can't send anyway)... I'm pretty good about stuff like that, as I make very good use of receipts myself - people always seem surprised that I manage to call them just as they've got back to their desks!

xx_Jo_xx

Triker wrote: »

Ok now Johanne, listen to this bit next because this is important.

You are a fantastic Mum

You will do all the hard, consistant, boring stuff.............that's what being a proper parent is!

Don't buy into the game playing by your ex's family, think about Pumpkin and how nice it is for her to be accepted and wanted by many people, believe me thats much better than family members rejecting her.

Think to yourself, will Pumpkin be having a nice time despite people going against your wishes? She is only little, there is no way that she'll remember this stuff, she just has to have had a nice time, thats all you should worry about.

I know the 'family' stuff stings, whether that meant I don't know but isn't that better than seeing your daughter deliberately left out and not included in family events.

You can rise above this stuff, put it where it needs to be, a miniscule amount of time that your daughter won't remember. Try not to be any more upset sweetie, I expect you're really missing her anyway and probably just want her back, which she will be, with you, her brilliant Mum. xxxxx

Johanne, I know that some of the other flyladies know you better than I do and I havent commented before, but i really do know exactly how you feel. Im in a similar position, or certainly used to be.

Dad was never interested in the little one from the day he was concieved....I didnt hear from him at all after I was 7 months pregnant. The only reason he came to the hospital was because my mum had called his mum (which was how we had originally met).

For a year or so, (when he had met a girl who had a child to someone else) he was keen to act like the best dad in the world. He was keen to spend time with him whenever he could and take him places. Eventually, He wanted to take little one to his first football game etc. I said he could as long as he took him to the family stadium (everyone in scotland knows how rough football derbys can be!). Against my wishes he took him into the "home support" stand and my Four YEAR OLD witnessed a full scale riot!! All thanks to his father. He did all the things that your EX is doing to me now.

I know what its like and you do need to rise above it. Your child isnt in any immediate physical danger and unfortunately you just need to play the game. As horrible as that is.

My little boy is seven now and he knows who really loves him. He knows what family means and the things that are important. Eventually my little ones dad lost interest and he doesnt bother with him at all now.

My mum and dad were divorced from I was 6. I know there are two sides to every story - and i know first hand what its like growing up in that environment and the arguements etc about what we should or shouldnt have been doing. I know what my mum did for us and I am well aware of what my dad didnt, despite all the good times my mum thought we were having. But I remember the arguements, how ever well they were intended. I never kicked off at XOH as I dont want my little one remembering the same and have been much more dignified in my approach than my mum was (I have more support than she did, so its easier for me).

You are the stable one and the one who provides and are there for the good, bad and ugly. Fair-weathered fathers are of no use to any child and the day my child and yours realise that, I will be there to pick up the pieces for mine as I know you will for yours. They will know what real love and parenting is, because we taught them, and we showed them what it really means to be loved and have someone there for you.

Chin up, Pumpkin will be home soon xx

dollydaydream07 wrote: »

thank you everyone for such kind words, even though i have only been here a week, i already feel that you are my friends, you are all such a supportive buch i'll get a lot more support from you, than i will my own husband - he doesn't do emotional, he said he was sorry and thats about it

i have had a little cry, DD didn't see me but just before bed we were tidying her room and she must have seen the sadness in my eyes and said 'i'm sorry i made you sad mummy' ... oh it was heartbreaking, i told her she hadn't made me sad..... she asked why i looked sad, so i gently explained to her that nannan who gives grandma pennies for her has been very poorly and the dr's couldn't make her better and sadly she has died
said it means that nannan is no longer a person but a bright star in the sky and when we look in the sky at night we will be able to see nannan's star... she did ask when she was going to be a person again, told her she will always be a star now

then she turned to me and said 'aww, mummy that's sad but don't worry you still have me and daddy!' :rotfl: so sweet and so true, bless her

she then said she is going to make a feel better card for me to cheer me up and i asked her if she would like to do one for grandma as well because grandma is sad too, so we are going to do a card for my mum as well

i spoke to mum, she sounded like she was putting a brave face on it but she spoke to DD as she wanted to sing happy birthday to her, when she sang for her, mum sounded happy and sad all at the same time

i have just pottered around all day and now i am going to sort through DD's toys to take my mind off things and i have no idea how to post pics on here but will post before and after's on to fb!

thanks again everyone xx

Massive massive hugs for you and your little one.....thats so lovely and sweet and sad all at the same time. But very well handled. Well done to you and to your little one for being brave and there for mummy and granny x

pigpen wrote: »

Greenbee... I did have a minor though you were on my list but couldn't remember for certain and I have a couple of hundred people on my list and i was not trailing through until I remembered your real life name lol..

Speaking of grannies..... (ducks to dodge a flying mule!)

My mum was 20 when she had me and I was pregnant when I was 20 - at the age of 40 my mum REFUSED point blank to be acknowledged as a grandmother!!! Until the little barrell of laughs arrived...... and she was in the delivery room.....

He is gorgeous! You should be so proud of your little grandson and Im sure in real life you are! As soon as he starts talking and calling out "Gwanny" you wont care who knows your a gran. Puke or not by the bucketload, we can see your pride - and you all deserve it after all the grief youve had!!

But in real life I dont know anyones name either......everytime I meet Toots, I call her Toots. Even my mum was laughing.....

Ive had enough flying and application forms, Im going to bed.

Im going to Scotland to pick up my little one tomorrow....its been a quiet and lonely two weeks without him, but hectic and busy and best he wasnt here all at the same time.

Thanks to all you lovely flyladies, Im not worrying about the petrol now, to be able and go and collect my child.

I know Ive said it a million times already, but i really cant thank you enough xx