Alcohol self help thread II

EthelBloggs

lol, tis a genuine offer.. promise

Sleeping Dogs (2006)
Directed by
Terrance Odette

Genre: Drama (more)

Plot Outline: A Belligerent blind diabetic escapes from hospital in a last ditch effort to save his dog from euthanasia, while the medical attendant sent after him deals with the death of his own estranged father.

User Comments: Quite Engrossing! (more)

beer2006

EthelBloggs wrote:

Plot Outline: A Belligerent blind diabetic escapes from hospital in a last ditch effort to save his dog from euthanasia, while the medical attendant sent after him deals with the death of his own estranged father.

Blimey, you would have to tie me up and have at least 4 big blokes drag me there, to get me to come. Sounds a bundle of laughs :rolleyes:

Thanks for the offer though

EthelBloggs

lol, no probs, u'd be very welcome

mjdh1957

I'm off to the cinema with the OH this evening in Manchester....

Notes on a Scandal.... Lesbian lust in a school between Judy Dench and Cate Blanchett.

Then on to Wagamama for a nice meal. Not been out for a meal just the two of us for a while.

rose28454

Hi again
Feeling ver down today. Have had 3 e-mails from my daughter asking me for more support as she is suffering from Anxiety and Aneroxia. She says that the last 8 months I have devoted myself to my OH inorder to keep him off the booze. He drank 3 or 4 times last week and asked me for my help yesterday and was dry last night. We are going to my sisters tonight for dinner and I am hoping her husband ( an alcoholic who is 18 months dry) will talk to mine. Mine says he is still going out for a celebration drink with his colleaugues next Saturday when he retires. Then he will give up again!!!.
I am already anxious as the children are going to London for a concert for the weekend so wont be around but I dont want to have to lie for him again even though I know they will be heartbroken that we seem to be getting back to square one.
Also I have been seriously thinking about leaving him as soon as son leaves for new job in London in about 6 weeks \nd once he has received retirement money and we have paid off some debts. I am going to contact our creditors to make a full and final settlement offer of our cc debts.
I am feeling guilty about my daughter and just tired with the whole thing. I dont want to loose my home but if things go well I should still be left with about £45000 once house was sold. I am 52 so worry about getting another mortgage but maybe I could afford a flat with a long mortgage.
Advice and hugs please!!!

lewt

i dont really know what to do to help rose, i can only help your husband if he wants it. sounds like he is in the madness, thinking that he will be able to stop after drinking again at the weekend is sugesting to me that he thinks he has the power over alcohol to do that. i understand alcoholism to be that i am powerless over alcohol. does your sisters husband go to AA?

rose28454

Hi Lewt
My sisters hubby went into rehab June 2005 ( she paid £12000 for it) and has been dry since. He lived on his own for 1 year after coming out of there and moved home again in Octoner 2006. He attends about 3 AA meetings a week and has tried to take my OH but he does not like it so wont go. My sister's oh is disabled as he had a stroke in 2002 ( due to drink and drugs we think) so he has done exceptionally well. He admits he struggles every day and he is doing really well in spite of his disability. I will see how it goes tonight and see whether I can persuade oh to join this thread himself. Also my sister ( who has a catering co) has asked me to go away for 5 days next weekend to do a job. Now we could do with the money and I also need to get away but it coincides with hubby leaving work and his retirement do!! Shall I stay or shall I go.
Thanks again

lewt

ultimutly its your choice it would do you good i think. the sad fact is that unless your hubby goes to AA with his bil, then he is never likely to combat his drinking, i dont think. maybe some tough love is in order.

habbi will be along in a min im sure she is a much better person for you to talk to. if your husband wants to talk to some who knows then i would be only to happy to have a chat on the phone,here or in private on msn....

habibi_2

Sending you big hugs Rose, hope you are feeling a bit better. I will make some suggestions (not advice) based on what I have learnt in Al-Anon. We always say ‘take what you like and leave the rest’. It was only by going to Al-Anon that I got the help that I needed and made changes that gave me a life again.

What really struck me is how you are trying to help everyone but have worn yourself out. You have reminded me so much of how I used to feel and how I always put myself last. I didn’t know where I left off and my OH began and couldn’t see for a long time that his responsibilities were not my responsibilities and vice versa.
I hear a lot in my meetings of Parents who weren’t there for their children because of being totally focused on their alcoholic. You have all been affected by the family disease. I’m not sure how old your daughter is – is she getting any help at the moment? I feel you are protecting your OH by lying for him (we call it enabling). I know it is so difficult to let your children see how he is really behaving but it is his stuff so try to let him make the explanations for himself. As Lewt says, maybe time to try some tough love.
Are they joint cc debts or your OH’s? If they are solely his then let him sort them out. I paid my OH’s debts several times without him even asking me too but I would not do that today and there was always another debt to replace the last one.. Try not to make any major decisions until your head has cleared and you feel stronger or you may make things worse for yourself.
You are lucky to have an AA member in the family. Leave your OH to him as much as you can – he will know how to deal with your OH. I have seen in AA and on here that the only people who can help drinkers are other drinkers. You can mention this thread to him and how there may be help for him on here then leave it – I could never persuade my OH to do anything and wasted hours of my time trying.
Are you going to the retirement party? If not you can sit at home worrying or you could get away, earn some money and treat yourself to something nice (how often do you treat yourself??). Hubby is going to drink whether you are there or not.

I hope this helps you and I haven't gone on too long. Take care of yourself. :grouphug:

lewt

EthelBloggs wrote:

lol, tis a genuine offer.. promise

Sleeping Dogs (2006)
Directed by
Terrance Odette

Genre: Drama (more)

Plot Outline: A Belligerent blind diabetic escapes from hospital in a last ditch effort to save his dog from euthanasia, while the medical attendant sent after him deals with the death of his own estranged father.

User Comments: Quite Engrossing! (more)

what does ^ that mean? i can see why you dont want to go, it sounds awfull to say the least:p