Alcohol self help thread II

lewt

Chris i had just about pushed everyone away with my drinking. with your bro i just surgest, putting it out your mind and excepting what you cannot change. i know that know one else could tell me what to do. whilst i was in the madness, going on the abtibuse is looking like he knows he has a problem which is good. however anti abuse is only a short term thing. be it a week or a year, i needed to change my thinking so that my defualt thought at anything was not "i need/want(cause my illness lie's to me tells me i want it when really i need it) a drink" The only way i can surgest for that that i know of is AA. and it was'st the first place i went knocking for help either. i tryed that antibuse sh@t and the other thing camprasai of summit. didnt work cause i had a mental obsession about alcohol that always made me lie to myself that i could have one or two and it would be different this time cause i wont go to far. -i always did. thus change of thinking required for me.


With the higher being you mentioned being yourself. i thought there was no1 higher than me. then it was explained that i was powerless over alcohol so the soultion = power. My best thinking got me into the mess i was in so i could not use the same thinking to get me out of it....

hope you have a better day today. try saying the serinty prayer.

Chrismojam

It's a difficult one.......after he was repeatedly verbally abusive/vicious/agressive/downright nasty to us (again) last August....we thought that's enough....we are not putting up with that crap again...it took him until December to 'apologise'.....by text....not by phone or in person (and he lives in the same area as my sis).....his apology (only sent to my sis btw....none to me)....sorry about that....terrible behaviour...life's too short..etc

Sis replied ...yes life is too short...love you but you need to get/accept help to sort yourself out...you cannot carry on behaving like this to people and expect them to just roll over all the time...

Now me being me (cynical)...thought...mmmm interesting...he has apologised in the run up to Christmas....now is he getting all melancholic again (as he does every Christmas)...or is he trying to smooth things over to make sure that he still gets pressies off mum (i.e. money)...I'm her appointee so I sort that out for her....

The contact I had off him? Texts asking when I was sending the money down off mum.....that was my first contact off him since he had me in tears with the crap he was screaming at me down the phone...I told him I'd send a cheque...not good enough...takes too long to clear...needed the cash..:mad:

I sent it cos I didn't want any further communications off him....now did I get a text saying thanks for that.....what do you think? And I've had none since...oh no sorry I got a christmas card...so that makes everything ok then.....

He is on antabuse (well supposedly...probably isn't now)...because he had to take part in a 'programme' to sort out his drinking.....part of the order given by judge when he was given 2 years suspended sentence for beating up his wife (yet again).....

ac

Al_Mac wrote:

ac, good girl, crying is far better than drinking, clears toxins out of the body

You have a choice, worry about it or plan for it, sounds easy "NOT", I know.

You have knwons that you know about, go for that. Do you need to get on a housing list. Could you sell up now and go for a shared equity etc

It will work out, maybe not as nicely as you want, but it will. It wont if you drink, it'll just get really shity

i just no im not strong enough to see the kids loose there home

ive just come so bloody far for nothing

feelinggood_2

Just wanted to say I hope you can find a way of getting through this AC
And remember, if you ever have serious suicidal thoughts - get yourself down to A&E pronto, you don't have to go through that alone, they will help you there xxx

Al_Mac

Home or mother, your choice, not theirs.Oh yes, big hug as well.

jayne.doe

I am only on for a bit but i was really concerned about you ac, yesterday. I dont know your situation at all. Have you thought about posting on the "debt" forum on mse as they seem to have some amazing people who come up with all sorts of solutions to problems. I have a friend who is a lone parent adviser if you need any help or have questions dont hesitate to pm me. I am not back at work until next Thursday but i wouldnt mind at all getting in touch for you.

If you need any advice re benefits dont hesitate to pm me if i can help i will only be too happy. Try this as well https://www.welfarerights.net.

jayne.doe

Chris we pm regularly and throughout your childhood your brother has done absolutely nothing to help you at all. We cannot choose our family it is as simple as that. He has not changed at all towards you he probably never will. The drink might make him meaner but he has never seemed to be there for you or your sister from what you tell me.

The relationship you have with yours sister is the one that matters. You are so close its lovely. Think of your nephews and nieces and the fact you are a great aunt now. This and your lovely o/h is all that matters.:)

Chrismojam

I second everything the others have said.....

Jayne is right...the debtfreewannabe board is fab.....there are an awful lot of very helpful people on their who have alot of experience and advice....don't think your debt is too much to be helped with...there are people on there with £100k plus debts...and they all get good advice and help were possible...there are people on that forum who have had huge debts...and have or are coming out the other side....so give it a look..

Now more importantly, as Al said, I am positive the kids would rather you were there than not, but still have a house. The kids will always have a roof over their heads.....it may not be the one you want...but they will....but they have only got one mum and that's you.

You are right, you have come so bloody far......but it has not been for nothing. Please do try to get the help and support you need to get you through this.....you have been doing well so far.

Take care XXX

jayne.doe

Oh yeh i forgot the hugs:grouphug: :wave: :kisses3: And a big wave from Cornwall. Both Chris and Ac are so strong. Fg is for continuing not to drink or smoke (dont know how she can do both). All wonder women:D

feelinggood_2

Thanks Jayne 2 months now - last night was the hardest - big row here, I stormed out - had to go to the pharmacy in the supermarkets to get some pills, managed to not walk down booze aisle, but someone smashed a bottle of port, and I could smell it, I so wanted to drink, took so much strength not to.