Alcohol self help thread II

lewt

dont look till tomorrow! or should i say download and keep as a SS till tomorrow! well done babe keep it up..

feelinggood_2

Awww, thank you Lewt, that is really sweet! :kisses3:

lewt

yes i spose i am a pretty great bloke really, your right.

Chrismojam

Al_Mac wrote:

Nope, FG and Jayne:rolleyes:

Oh good cos I'm not superstitious at all...I mean...I don't walk under ladders (health & safety reasons don't ya know;) ....I tend not to walk on cracks in the pavement...that could be the ocd:rolleyes: ish tendancies I may have...;) erm...I may bless magpies and other things....but that's just because I've been brainwashed....if I actually thought about what I was doing at the time I might not (but probably would:D )

Chrismojam

feelinggood wrote:

Well, suppose I shouldn't count my chickens lol, but if I make it to tomorrow, its been 2 months

Hey ..you are doing good girl (better than me...goes without saying that really:rolleyes: )....but...very much CONGRATS.....;)

Chrismojam

I don't want to go into TOO much detail...(but I will:o ) but I want to get the opinion of....ooh how do I put this...some of the more 'seasoned' drinkers/ex-drinkers amongst us.......

I drink too much on occasion....more a 'binge' drinker at times.....I know I am...I am/have been trying to sort this out for a while (on my own admittedly....I do believe in a higher self...ME...and I will sort myself out....no-one else...not having a go....just wanted to point that out:o )...I've also had alot of !!!! to deal with...abuse (pervy old grandad..no loss there)...mother has been bi-polar (seriously manic depressive since before I was born...coming up to 37 years...oh christ...I've been going grey for nearly 20 years:eek: )...lost my dad when I was 12 (I'm nearly 33)....lots of other stressfull crap in between...assaults...abusive relationship etc....

In between dealing with all the crap...me and sis have basically looked after/sorted out/dealt with mum....fighting (very BLOODY HARD!) for her to get the right care/meds/support etc....nearly pushed us both over the edge...many times......in fact it came to us pointing out how close we were to the edge before anyone got off there !!!! to 'help'...and that's taken over 10 years to sort out...:mad:

Anyway....in all that time....we have never blamed anyone else....other than the authorities who did very little to help....but we never blamed each other...we have two brothers who have never been ANY use at all...now this is were the issue is.....:rolleyes: me & sis have both said that they just can't handle the situation....which is correct....one brother readily accepts this...and basically is quite happy to completely back off and leave us to it....well it makes life easier for him doesn't it?

The other...now there's the problem....

We have always kept him up to date with what was going on and why....when him & his missus notified me that mum had tried to kill herself (she had rung her friend ...my SIL mum....) and they let me know as I live nearby...me & sis made the mistake of thinking that they may actually want to know how she was/that she was ok....sis went round to tell them...they were busy having a barby and a !!!! up....more interested in talking to my BIL about golf than my sister about his mother's suicide attempt.....but apparently we haven't kept him up to date/informed him of anything...:mad: we have kept everything for ourselves...we have cut him out...WE WANT TO DEAL WITH EVERYTHING ON OUR OWN....I mean ...why on earth would we want or need support?:rolleyes:

Now bear in mind here...bro is an egotistical bully....was when I was a child....he wasn't alcoholic then....is now....repeatedly tries to 'sort himself out'...thinks he's a buddhist....a lapsed one if ever I've seen one!....he is the type...what he says goes.....if you don't agree with him then you are wrong.......and he has NO problem treating people like !!!!.......but dare you treat him that way...then you are the worlds worst...how dare you!!

This is me trying to cut this short:rolleyes: ...me & sis have put out the olive branch time & again....repeatedly we have been treated/spoken to like !!!! (and much worse)...(and my other brother has been too) but WE are the one's who feel like !!!! if we don't try and make 'amends'....he has told me (stone cold sober btw...when I was 16....3 years after losing my dad and whilst mum was having another relapse....because I wouldn't do what he wanted..i.e. dump boyfriend....) that as far as he was concerned I was dead....he only had one sister...that was when she was in favour...

I suppose what I am trying to say to those drinkers who really have gone to the edge....did you COMPLETELY push everyone away before you saw what you were doing...or did you expect them just to continually make room for your 'errors in judgement'...because it was 'the drink' talking?...and expect them to take you as you are no matter how !!!! you treated them?

My bro has done this again to my sis....before Christmas...he was a new man..back on antabuse...(probably for less than a week)...turning over another new leaf...last weekend....texted her repeatedly at 3/4 AM...she had the audacity to want to sleep at that time at the morning:rolleyes: so the texts went from...oh I love you sis...to melancholic one about the mother he cares so much for...(but rarely visits or keeps in touch with...his visit to her a christmas cost HER £70:mad: ...he got petrol money off her...only person I know who can drive up and down the bloody country and make money on it)....to (after sis had replied to him twice...tactfully...which is more than I would do at that time in the morning!)......'!!!! you then'....after she had already told him she was turning her phone off so she could get some sleep!

What would yo do? Sorry for the ramble...it's just wound me up again:rolleyes:

ac

well yesterday (wed) i finally got my CAB interview......

things are really bad.... looks like i'll loose the house...

OH is sleeping at his dads house tonight... he dosent want to let go... but i cant cope with how he is....

didnt get i drinking urge re financial news but did get suicidal ones !

wot is the point of me getting myself through the hell ive been going through
only to face a bigger hell !!!!!!!!

ive been crying since 10 am... stopped for a few hours while i went to work
and now im sitting here blarting again...

GOD nos wots going to happen....CAB said it might take up to 8 months for the debt people to want the equity on the house ...so ive either got 8 months to worry or 8 months of breathing space... depends which way you look at it....

or.................. i could just throw the towel in and have OH back !!!!! but i no in my heart its over

so yesterday was my biggest stressed out day since sobbering up......

and im still sober xxxxxxxx

hope all is well xxxxxxxxxxxxx

suffolkb

Well done on not drinking with all that going on. Many of us would have used that as an excuse. I used my flat being broken into as my `excuse` after my first spell in rehab.
A week or so back, a tv prog (Spendaholics?) featured a young girl in massive debt. They found her a company who were prepared to buy her house from her and then rent it to her. This may not be suitable for you, but it could leave you in the same house and debt free. Could be better than a forced sale after reposession.
Wishing you all the best.

Al_Mac

Chris, hard one.

Me, my children didn't know what sort of mood I was in, I thought I was fairly normal. Mrs Mac knew I had swings in mood, she knew I drank to much, but didn't know how much!

Unless you can get him in an open and frank state, sober, you'll never find out what his problem is. He has issues, could be guilt, could take years to find out.

Not sure you have the "energy" to go through it with him, you need to put you and yours first. So if you have to cut him off, cut him off. I haven't had to do it to my brother, but if push comes to shove, my sanity and family have to come first.

Goog luck.

Al_Mac

ac, good girl, crying is far better than drinking, clears toxins out of the body

You have a choice, worry about it or plan for it, sounds easy "NOT", I know.

You have knwons that you know about, go for that. Do you need to get on a housing list. Could you sell up now and go for a shared equity etc

It will work out, maybe not as nicely as you want, but it will. It wont if you drink, it'll just get really shity