Alcohol self help thread II

jayne.doe

Most people would say the same about me al. Had huge probs with my childhood, issues with my dad, but we resolved these about 5 yrs ago and i truly bear no ill feeling towards him. In fact i think we have a really good relationship now. I just love alcohol i enjoyed it the first time i tasted it. Hated the hangovers but if i eat properly now they are unusual. I do enjoy the calmness that comes over me.

My problem is i cant just have one. If i could then i would be fine i literally drink everything in the house. Anything and everything that has alcohol, and if i havent had enough then they was no point in drinking.

I have never been happy with myself, started with an eating disorder at about 16 that never really goes but definately has improved over time. That stems from a low self esteem issue definately. Alcohol? i really just crave it sometimes to the point of almost going mad for it. I do have stress days when i want to drink, but then i dont and still crave a drink. I have come to the conclusion i just really like it and am addicted to it.

Al_Mac

Dotage accepted I just think having an idea why helps to deal with it. But yes I agree it doesn't mean you can drink

jayne.doe

brodev wrote:

I don't know if I drank for one reason or another or not. There is a problem with this line of thought that I have noticed in a number of people. They sort what they thought the problem was and then they think that they can drink again, only to discover that they cannot. (I think I may have said this before on here) if so, pardon the repetition and put it down to my dotage.
I do believe that once we cross that invisible line to alcoholic drinking that there is no going back even if it was started by some other problem

Thats what i meant i have never been happier in my personal life i believe i am respected in my professional life. There is no reason other than i like the taste of drink. I dont drink every nite like i did last nite. Only about twice a week. Other nites i just have a bottle of wine and once a week i dont drink at all.

I deal with alcoholics and i am not like them i dont reek of stale or fresh alcohol. I always go to work even if i have had too much the night before. I dont drink of a weekday during the day, and at weekends i would only start in the afternoons. I just dont know if i have crossed that invisible line . Last night i hadnt drunk all week and the urge to drink was scary but i did last all week.

Al_Mac

I know some people don't understand this. I was told that some one who had to have a drink, has a drink problem, is an alcoholic.

I'd be interested to know, understand, the liking of alcohol.

I fully understand the once you start, you can't stop.

jayne.doe

i dunno al just really enjoy alcohol. Did you enjoy the taste of vodka? Or did you drink to feel numb. Sometimes i have a bad day straight for alcohol but othertimes i dont have a bad day straight for the alcohol. Therfore i cant just need alcohol for emotional reasons. I just enjoy drinking, and i certainly feel the need of it, i nearly felt insane yesterday until i had it. I dont feel that need for it now. I must like the taste coz i keep doing it. Sometime it is really hard to put into words emotions that you feel so i really find it hard to explain it. Hope that makes sense. I said it was an addiction so maybe like is not the right word i physically enjoy it and crave it.

Al_Mac

I found it the easiest of spirits to drink, I enjoyed the kick, the warmth, the comfort.

What odd people we are. I don't think we are as odd as I (we) think

beer2006

We're all of equal oddness

jayne.doe

ditto re the above two posts hee hee:) you make me laugh:rotfl: and your right we are all odd.

Al_Mac

Mrs Mac was supposed to be going to the big overnight. Become a day trip now. Wonder its down to me:o

jayne.doe

in what way is it down to you do you think al? Do you mean Mrs Mac might not trust you to stay overnight.?