Alcohol self help thread II

Chrismojam

When this old world is blown assunder
And all the stars fall from the sky
Remember someone really loves you
We'll live forever you and I

I don't want to take away any meaning that is meant by these words...but is it just me???? Whenever I read the first line ....I think Shakin' Stevens???:eek:

And I'm not really old enough to remember him properly..I was brainwashed!! By mother!! She had me singin' 'behind the green door' at god knows what age!! but I knew all the words!:o

jayne.doe

as always chris old beyond your yrs sweetheart. Take carexxxxxxxxxxx

Chrismojam

jayne.doe wrote:

as always chris old beyond your yrs sweetheart. Take carexxxxxxxxxxx

Always have been hun...going grey since I was 13 at least...although this is accelerating somewhat!:eek:

I used to know all the words to Sleepy Jean as well (by the Monkeys)...never realised the significance of that until years later..sis before me died when she was 2...apparently mum wanted me to be called Jean too ...'in memory of...but was talked out of it...

I always thought it was because I LOVED the monkeys:rolleyes: I wasn't of the age to have 'feelings' but I SOOOOOOOOOO had a thing for Micky Dolenze:o ooh I thought he was just lovely....not Davey Jones, Peter Tork or Mike Nesmith (oh God I remember their names aswell:o )

But I have to say...looking back...I think I'd go for Mike Nesmith now....as he was then...not now;)

Al_Mac

Chrismojam wrote:

Always have been hun...going grey since I was 13 at least...although this is accelerating somewhat!:eek:

Me to, receeding hairline as well:o

I have a cousin, named after her own sister, was a family name and my aunt was determined to see it continue.

Did you say day 12 earlier, or am I, as my wife expects, going mad?

jayne.doe

guys i have to be totally honest with you i got totally and utterly drunk last night. Not just a little bit loads. If i was talking to you i apologise. In the end i didnt know who i was talking to. The one thing i dont want to do is to lie to any of you coz you are all doing just brilliantly. I was trying to lie to you last night and thats not right. I dont think after last nights weird pming i would of convinced anyone but its still not right. (I even managed to pm myself god only knows how i did that.)

I was climbing the walls on Sunday needing a drink. Had totally convinced myself i am just a bit of a heavy drinker.....!!!! Once i had decided to drink there was really no stopping me. If there had been a rugby league team trying to stop me getting into asda i wouldnt have given you much for their chances.

I am just tired of doing the confessional bit. Its not a case of trying aa i would of drunk still, i admire and respect you guys i still tried to lie to you. So i dont know. Maybe i dont want to give up yet. Brodev was so right i keep asking myself am i an alcohollic? and still i keep getting drunk. The only thing that will work for me is not drinking to a certain target date .I know if i write that date down i will not drink. I am v stubborn so if i keep it in sight i wont do it. I dont know about after that date? But i ultimately have to ask myself do i want to give up drinking. I can lie to everyone but i cant lie to myself. I cant come on this thread still drinking i just dont want to do that so i need to have a think.

Al_Mac

Thanks Jayne. He who is without sin etc. How you want to deal with things is down to you, we, at best, can only give you our experiences. Don't consider yourself a failure, not saying you do If you truely want to stop, just keep chipping away at it and you'll get there Network is a bit flakey at work, so I'll be back later.

brodev

jayne.doe wrote:

guys i have to be totally honest with you i got totally and utterly drunk last night. Not just a little bit loads. If i was talking to you i apologise. In the end i didnt know who i was talking to. The one thing i dont want to do is to lie to any of you coz you are all doing just brilliantly. I was trying to lie to you last night and thats not right. I dont think after last nights weird pming i would of convinced anyone but its still not right. (I even managed to pm myself god only knows how i did that.)

I was climbing the walls on Sunday needing a drink. Had totally convinced myself i am just a bit of a heavy drinker.....!!!! Once i had decided to drink there was really no stopping me. If there had been a rugby league team trying to stop me getting into asda i wouldnt have given you much for their chances.

I am just tired of doing the confessional bit. Its not a case of trying aa i would of drunk still, i admire and respect you guys i still tried to lie to you. So i dont know. Maybe i dont want to give up yet. Brodev was so right i keep asking myself am i an alcohollic? and still i keep getting drunk. The only thing that will work for me is not drinking to a certain target date .I know if i write that date down i will not drink. I am v stubborn so if i keep it in sight i wont do it. I dont know about after that date? But i ultimately have to ask myself do i want to give up drinking. I can lie to everyone but i cant lie to myself. I cant come on this thread still drinking i just dont want to do that so i need to have a think.

Thanks for being honest. That in itself can be difficult. I do not know you therefor I cannot tell you what to do but,,,,,, I have known lots of people that you sound like. I cannot do this on my own and most of the people that I know cannot do it on their own. I do know a few who have got sober and stayed sober on their own, but only a few compared to the thousands that I know in AA. Many alcoholics get to a point in time where they just cannot say NO to a drink. Asked about this later they cannot explain it. This is why AA suggests that we try this together. The first step of AA says that we admited we were powerless over alcohol. That is why we persuade ourselves to have a drink when we KNOW that we shouldn't. Together we are stronger and somehow we are able to resist with the help of others and in my case a Higher Power. Do not be too downhearted by what happenned as you are not the first and you certainly won't be the last. Back to staying away from one drink for one day. Good Luck

jayne.doe

hi guys thank you as ever for your support it never fails to amaze me:) I just dont want to keep showing myself up in front of such really nice people, each of your opinions matter to me. I just get so frustrated because as i have just said to someone. I am such a strong capable person in all aspects of my life, except in the ability to be able to drink safely and responsibly. I find that so frustrating. I mean i lied to myself, i said i was only going to have two ,i brought enough to sink a bloody battleship!!!!

Al_Mac

Do you think you do it for a reason? Do you know what that reason is? Mine was hiding from my insecurity and inadequacies (sp). Now I just try to live with who I am.

Must people would say I'm very confident and outgoing. Reality is I'm scared $hitle$$ all of the time. I grew up with parents who didn't accept anything else

brodev

Al_Mac wrote:

Do you think you do it for a reason? Do you know what that reason is? Mine was hiding from my insecurity and inadequacies (sp). Now I just try to live with who I am.

Must people would say I'm very confident and outgoing. Reality is I'm scared $hitle$$ all of the time. I grew up with parents who didn't accept anything else

I don't know if I drank for one reason or another or not. There is a problem with this line of thought that I have noticed in a number of people. They sort what they thought the problem was and then they think that they can drink again, only to discover that they cannot. (I think I may have said this before on here) if so, pardon the repetition and put it down to my dotage.
I do believe that once we cross that invisible line to alcoholic drinking that there is no going back even if it was started by some other problem