Alcohol self help thread II

Al_Mac

Something I try to keep to mind is that I want to be a better parent to my children, than mine were to me.Not saying mine were not good parents, but I've screwed up, my brother is screwed up and my sister didn't reach their expectations :)Cherish her whilst she's young Mine demanded advent calenders this morning

beer2006

Mine got her first calendar last night, she opened the first window this morning and is desperate to open the others, so its christmas quicker.

suffolkb

My youngest daughter gave me a big hug earlier this week and told me that she loved me. I wasn`t even allowed to see the girls in my final drinking phase.
She followed shortly afterwards by telling me that she wants to go to a friends birthday meal at a Chinese restaurant in town tonight,so needs a lift and some money. It was nice to hear it anyway.

Al_Mac

Got them the calenders tonight. Had a stroll down the drinks aisle, twice!

Preached at people about drinking this afternoon and did a bit of investigating about turnover of units through a body

Started a thread about drink driving

Had a chat about Catholic guilt

Bloomin quite here tonight.

Feelie day 7 or 8 ?

Jayne you OK?

beer is it Christmas yet?

Off to roam elsewhere

jayne.doe

hi al , o/h just come in been out with collegues. One has cancer v ill so o/h drinking heavily. I nearly sucumbed got a bottle keep looking at it. Not yet opened it!! how dreadful it is to sit with someone who is slowly getting slaughtered and making v little sense. and you are sober as a judge:( Just seen the above when are you gonna start on the sermons:) You have been a busy boy.

Al_Mac

One last thing. I'm going to have to go incognito, a few colleagues have cottoned on to me on this site. No one has mentioned drink yet!

Going to lose my signature

And another last thing, i used to get ratty/irritable and get angry, I don't so much anymore, still some but not as much. I just felt like I needed to explode. Am I building up for a big fight or something?

ac

morning all

brodev

Al_Mac wrote:

And another last thing, i used to get ratty/irritable and get angry, I don't so much anymore, still some but not as much. I just felt like I needed to explode. Am I building up for a big fight or something?

In my experiance Al it would seem that you are just getting better. It is good to be aware that you can explode. It may sound daft, but I used to get a pillow and put it over my face and scream into it. It didn't do anyone any harm and it got rid of my pent up emotions.

beer2006

Morning ac, brodev, everyone

ac

the emotion that gets me the worst is anger...

sometimes i feel that im gonna throw fire balls out of the palms of my hands like somekind of demon out of 'charmed' :eek:

havent been around much latley... been workin in the day..
i can log on but it leaves a trail so 'they' (work) can see were i have been and i dont need the thought of anyone i work with noing my posts...

i have a fair sneeking suspition they no i an alcoholic.....

but do they really no wot an alcoholic is !!!! ??????
(most of them are from the girls nights out i heard of )

i went to a meeting last night.. and shared alittle..
but couldnt share wot i wanted to say... ( to emotional)

ive been doing alot of self analyizing :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

i started to drink because it was my time out...
then i drank cause it was routine...
and then i drank cause it was better to be drunk than being sober in my
'real' life......
then i drank cause i didnt want to drink and had no choice or control......

thats wot i thought........ but...

for me it was all of the above..... but ive found another one....

i now think i drank to suppress my inner feeling- i was changing.....
i didnt want to be were i was and felt guilty that i had everything anyone could wish, hope for.. and i didnt want it......... except for happiness....

all i want is to be happy.... and i felt (still do) soooooo guilty and selfish..
the fact that the kids and OH are happy... and im the one destroying everything....but i cant carry on the way i am and its time to change..

the person i want to be is breaking out and i cant supress her anymore.....

i have been sooooo bloody strong the last few weeks i cant believe it....
and its down to being sober...... i am faceing stuff i never thought i could do


one day at a time.......

just for today

hope all is ok xxxxxxxx