Alcohol self help thread II

Al_Mac

Hard to post at work, IE works funny Thanks girls

micheleen

I'm still reading too just nothing much to report

micheleen

[STRIKE]Morning[/STRIKE] Afternoon

Well I had a glass of wine with dinner last night. Don't know if it was me or the wine but it tasted awful I think the rest will be left to use for cooking

I've been quite surprised recently, in that I've had no urge to go and get blotto whatsoever, even when dealing with stuff that would normally have stressed me out.

Maybe I'm finally growing up :eek: (probably not though )

brodev

micheleen wrote:

[STRIKE]Morning[/STRIKE] Afternoon

Well I had a glass of wine with dinner last night.

I am glad for you that you are able to do this. I, on the other hand, believe that for me it would be like playing Russian roulette. 5 out of 6 times I may get away with it but on the 6th WHAM!!!!!!!!!!! If I knew when that would be I would avoid it, but it always seemed to creep up on me.

Al_Mac

Mich, well done, perhaps you are growing up.

Must agree with brodev, I'm too scared to even try one:eek: I think I'd be OK, just not brave enough to tempt fate:cool:

micheleen

I've never really had a problem with beer, wine or cider I've normally got sick before I got really drunk anyway :rolleyes:
When I was looking after my parents, dad and I always split a bottle of wine with Sunday dinner and that was never a trigger

I'm not going to tempt fate experimenting with vodka though, I think that could well set me off again

Shaz123_3

Hi Jny,

I know how you are feeling. This is my second attempt trying to type this as I clicked a button by accident and what I had typed was lost (undo button didn’t work – arghhhh).

I read this initial thread approx 30 pages a few months ago but didn’t post. Anyway today I reached the end of my teather after coming home from work to find my husband had been drinking. I can always tell by the red face and glazed look in his eye and the fact he avoids eye contact. Also the fact that I found a champagne cork etc in the bin along with Lidl carrier bags. Whenever he goes there he buys booze. I proceeded to look in the jacket cupboard for the empty bottle whilst he was popping over to the neighbours house for 20 mins (yes and pigs might fly). Instead I find a carrier bag with 6 empty cans of strong beer (from last week as I recognised the empty Morrisons biodrink he got last week also in there), looked above the kitchen cupboard and shock horror (not) was the champagne bottle with 3 other empty cans.

We are suppose to be celebrating our 3rd year wedding anniversary this month but to be honest I doubt very much we will. I’m 28 years old and he is 30 and we have a 2 year old. He disappeared to the neighbours who he went off drinking with until 12:45pm last night after disappearing at 8:00pm to say I’m handing him a tv ariel and will be right back. He called me at work to say that we would sit and watch the football together tonight and that he wasn’t going anywhere. Bull!!

So I guess because our 3rd year wedding anniversary I started thinking do I really want to spend the rest of my life hoping my husband will make changes and take some responsibility and set a good example to our son. I phoned my sister up to let out everything I have bottled in for the last 3 years and tell her what was going on. I initially said that I was going to ask him for a divorce but she talked some sense into me and said if that’s the way I feel perhaps separating and seeing how things went for say 3 months would be a better option.

When my husband turned up at 8:45pm, he was half cut. I told him I wanted a trial separation. He actually turned round and said Oh I was just going to nip back out to Johns to watch the rest of the football.

I looked at him and calmly told him that his statement completely summed up how much we meant to him. Anyway he is downstairs with the tv on. He did ask me if he would he be allowed to see his son. I said only if he has been sober and that we would have a proper chat tomorrow.

I’ve been typing more but keep of mis typing and loosing everything as I’m sitting in the dark and with the amount of crying I’ve been doing my eyes are so swollen can hardly see.

To sum up how selfish he is, when I gave birth 2 years ago he didn’t actually come to see me the day after until I phoned him to ask when he was coming. I had a really bad birth and was quite sad seeing all the other people with the partners visiting. When he turned up he had been drinking and as ready to leave after dropping me off a laptop (obviously that was suppose to keep me company), then the following day every single father turned up bar him when we were all ready to leave. I had to call him, he turned up 45 mins later drunk (we live 5 mins away from hospital). Then moaned about having to hang about and watch how to bathe a baby etc and it was taking too long he left without telling me. I phoned the house to see if that was where he had gone and he eventually came back to pick me up. When I was about 35 weeks pregnant, he went back downstairs drinking with a neighbour after turning up at 2am and told me I knew where the phone was should I go into labour earlier. Bearing in mind we were actually living abroad at the time and I had no real friends or family to turn to or go to, he was quite happy to let me get on with it, go to a couple of doctors appointments myself and try and speak a foreign language because he had a hangover and said I was more than capable to doing things myself.

You can imagine how absolutely gutted I have been then and several other occasions – too many to mention. Still crying thinking about it…

Oh well lets see what the future brings…

Al_Mac

Hi Shaz,

Helps to get it out there.

You said you'd talk tomorrow. Will he be receptive. Based on what you've said, he's going to need a bit of a kick.

You've got to decide if you want to try and save him, along with your marriage, if he wants to be saved.

Explain to him, as calmly as you can, what you see the issue is, secret drinking seems to be one of them, not being able to cope with responsibility another.

Help is what he needs to look for first, links will no doubt appear from some of the other regulars;) Again this is up to him.

The worst I can see is you're going to have to ask him to go, the best he'll just stop. Unlikely straight away.

He's going to lie, something we're good at:D

Paramount is you and your childs safety. Something Mrs Mac has had drummed into her by my bil.

If things don't go well, you're going to need somewhere to go, do you have somewhere or someone to turn to. If they don't know what's happening, you need to let them, good to have a friend to talk to.

I don't know what else to say.

You've reached a point, you just have to get husband to follow. If he wants to, that's great. Remember stopping drinking and staying stopped are two different things. If he stops, he will fall off the wagon, I did twice, I don't want to go there again:eek:

Good luck, I hope it works out, keep posting. Most people who post regularly won't mind answering questions or offering support and are all open to PMs

My heart and thoughts are with you, I know the mess I nearly made of my and my families lives, I hope it works out for you to.

Al

x

micheleen

Links to sites which may help, they give phone no.s for confidential advice as well

If he'll accept help Alcohoholics Anonymous Homepage

For supporting families of people with problems Al-Anon

A portal with advice and other useful links UK Drinkline

Of course if he's prepared to go, his GP could also give good advice and referrals.

micheleen

Morning :hello:

It's thursday again so it must be ac's meeting day