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Need advice please about my pregnant sister and abusive partner
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What can she do - he has taken her bank card off her and she has no access to their money now0
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I've been in a very similar situation, with the only difference being that I stayed with my xh for 14 years. These were filled with emotional and physical abuse, followed by an absolutely horrendous divorce, and greatly damaged my two boys for a while there.
My advice is to get your sister as far away from this man as possible. Yes she may want to stay in the house, but at the end of the day her safety and that of her unborn baby are of paramount importance. I walked away from my home of 10years, and at the end of the day it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought!
I suggest she reports the incident to the police, if only to get it on record. Take pictures (dated) of any bruises and mark he left on her. Also tell the midwife. Speak to Refuge, they helped me so much! Also, if you go to the CAB they can get you in to see a solicitor for a free consultation. Make sure you get a really good solicitor, it makes a world of difference.
She's very lucky that she has your support. If I can help, leave me a message0 -
She needs to contact her bank and get the card stopped immediately.Don't suffer alone - if you are experiencing Domestic Abuse contact the National Domestic Abuse Helplines
England 0808 2000 247 Wales 0808 80 10 800 Scotland 0800 027 1234 Northern Ireland 0800 917 1414 Republic of Ireland 1800 341 900. Free and totally confidential.0 -
What can she do - he has taken her bank card off her and she has no access to their money now
She can go into the bank and withdraw from it.
Just tell them that she's misplaced her card. Other ID will suffice.
Mind you - he may have emptied the account?
What bank is it? See if they have a counter service on Saturdays?
Edit: yes - call the bank now and tell them that the card has been lost - they'll send her a new one."One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."0 -
Where is she now- is she with you? In your house/ her house?Don't suffer alone - if you are experiencing Domestic Abuse contact the National Domestic Abuse Helplines
England 0808 2000 247 Wales 0808 80 10 800 Scotland 0800 027 1234 Northern Ireland 0800 917 1414 Republic of Ireland 1800 341 900. Free and totally confidential.0 -
She is not with me, she has popped round a friends - she is being suprisingly calm and wants to stay at hers.0
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The best thing you can do for her is get her as much information as possible- in a situation like this info is power and the more she has the better able she will be to make an informed decision.
This is a great website for further information, as is this one.
Last bit of advice from me- she may well decide to stay with her partner/ go back/ try again. If that happens please please don't fall out with her. So many women who eventually decide they do want to leave abusive partners find that they have no support network because family / friends couldn't understand them wanting to try again. On average it takes 7 attempts to leave an abusive partner, and even more scarily, the average abused partner will be assaulted up to 35 times before they involve the police.Don't suffer alone - if you are experiencing Domestic Abuse contact the National Domestic Abuse Helplines
England 0808 2000 247 Wales 0808 80 10 800 Scotland 0800 027 1234 Northern Ireland 0800 917 1414 Republic of Ireland 1800 341 900. Free and totally confidential.0 -
Hi first of all she needs to ring womens aid on 0808 2000 247. They will advise her on her next step. They also refer women in your sisters position to emergency accommodation.
Its important that she gets help NOW! lots of women have been hurt or even killed by abusive partners.
The house is not important and can be sorted at a later date.0 -
shell_girl wrote: »Last bit of advice from me- she may well decide to stay with her partner/ go back/ try again. If that happens please please don't fall out with her. So many women who eventually decide they do want to leave abusive partners find that they have no support network because family / friends couldn't understand them wanting to try again. On average it takes 7 attempts to leave an abusive partner, and even more scarily, the average abused partner will be assaulted up to 35 times before they involve the police.
Thanks for pointing this out, it's very interesting.0 -
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