The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

spaghetti_monster

Hi there!
I'm an occasional poster - do read quite often, but am not really qualified to give answers most of the time; in most cases I'm usually asking the odd question..

I'm 36, OH is 40. I came off the pill in Sept 2008 and had a miscarriage in Feb 2009, so I guess I got pregnant quite quickly. There was a miscarriage thread (now closed) that really helped me a lot (especially with the emotional side), and it's helped me so much to be able to ask questions on this thread. Speaking of which....

Well actually this is a bit of a rant, but if anyone has any opinion...

I had my mc in Feb/March, a heavy period in April (they said there was a bit more to come), a 2 week long barely-there period in May and nothing since. I have quite long cycles (around 35/37 days), but still, today my period is about 3 weeks late.
So of course, all sorts of things have been going through my mind, but all pregnancy tests have been negative.
Today I went for a scan (the GP sent me) and they said that basically everything looks fine. The nurse said "it looks like you'll have your period in about a week/10days, does that sound right?". I said no - I just told you I'm 3 weeks late! I felt like she hadn't been listening to what I said. Then she threw in "you probably have polycystic ovaries".
I was really shocked - I had a scan to see if uterus/ovaries were OK a few years back and no mention was made of that. Although I have a long cycle, I didn't have any other problems and it was pretty regular. When I said this to her she said "well a 36 day cycle is not normal, most people have a 28 day one".

I guess I felt a bit confused and didn't know what to ask. Later today I found myself looking up polycystic ovaries on wikipedia and suddenly felt really angry - I was just in a hospital with a medical professional, I shouldn't be feeling really worried trying to figure things out myself from the internet! The nurse gave me a note to take to the GP - which is indeciferable, apart from "PCO". Anyway, I felt angry that she kind of brushed me off and was patronising along with it.

Anyway, I already made an appointment with my GP for tomorrow and will ask her to explain a bit more and OH is being really sweet.

Sorry, for the long rant and thanks if you got so far!

MadMac_2

Blimey Alex, no wonder you needed a rant. It never fails to amaze me how rude and condescending these professionals can be. To slip something in like that must have been quite a shock, and then some.

Thank goodness for OHs, life would be a much darker place without them! And it proves they are good for more than one thing...

All this worry certainly won't help your AF to arrive, that's for sure, so here's hoping you get some answers tomorrow and not more throw away comments. Look forward to reading how you get on, x

liloandstitch

alex w, what a horrible thing to happen. I think there are a couple of others on here with pcos so they may come along and give you some assistance but what an absolutely horrible way to treat you. I hope the gp is more understanding and helpful for you tomorrow. I am glad your oh is being outstanding

hugs Lilo

JoJo77

Now I've find the nice shiney new thread (not very computer literate), I will add my story.

I'm 31, DH is 52. We've been trying for a BFP since Oct 2005 when DH had his vasectomy reversed. He has 2 kids from a previous marriage, I have none. Have had all the basic tests including a hycosy and they can't find anything wrong with either of us (although clearly there must be). Currently on round 5 of clomid. Next consultant's appointment is in August where, if this clomid cycle hasn't worked, we will discuss IVF. Have found this group full of advice and support and has helped me feel like parrt of a group rather than the only person in the world who can't seem to get the elusive BFP

angelavdavis

Found the thread at last!

I am just 40, OH is 38. We have been trying since Jan 06, OH has issues following childhood problems.

Having been fobbed off for years and told to relax, when we were eventually referred, we were (frustratingly) told "why had we waited so long?"!

No known problems with me, although I have subsequently found out I only have one functioning ovary which meant I couldn't reach the required NHS FSH level so we had to pay for our treatment. Otherwise I have a textbook 28 day cycle and ovulation cycle. OH has 15% normal sperm and we have been told we have less than 2% chance of natural pregnancy (guess that is almost zero!).

We had ICSI in May, but sadly it ended with a chemical pregnancy. I found the whole treatment cycle very traumatic and didn't go for a followup appointment afterwards as a result. I am still being treated for cystitis and other issues as a result.

I have recommenced accupuncture this week in the hope we can improve our chances through alternative means.

Agutka

Hello, I hope you don't mind a stranger popping in. I wanted some advice re SIL. She has a four and a half year old son, and has been trying for another for two years now. She's been through three miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy, where she lost a tube. She is now being monitored by the doctors, all her tests have come back okay. And she's just had a positive preg test.

I shared this with you guys just over a week ago, and just popping back in with sad news. My poor SIL is in hospital right now with yet another ectopic pregnancy. They are scaring her with removal of her remaining tube. I don't understand why they can't help her abort naturally, thus saving her last chance of normal conception. It turns out that rather than monitoring her closely with blood tests, they told her the usual 'come back in two weeks' spiel and now that info about hormone levels is not available and they have to go in surgically. I just don't understand. The only advice I've tried to give my heartbroken brother is to get a second opinion, because someone out there must know a way.
Hugs to you all who go through this.
Agutka

Bunnie1982

alex w - That is really horrible how your hospital treated you but I can relate to that. When I had my internal ultrasound the consultant told me I had poly cystic ovaries and gave me a leaflet about poly cystic ovarian syndrome, and I felt that nothing on the leaflet related to me. Since then the other consultant at the hospital has said "no, it's not poly cystic ovaries, it's just normal follicles" Hope you get some better answers from your GP, if anything my GP was extremely understanding and made me feel more positive about things than what the hospital did.


Just taken my first lot of clomid so we'll see how we go with that. Had an extremely light AF this month anyway that lasted one day, I expected it to be a lot heavier though as I had been taking Norethisterone prescribed by my GP as me and hubby were going on a weekend break and didn't want interruptions from AF.

However, as just a general comment. I moved completely away from my home town about 3 weeks ago, and the move has done wonders for both mine and DH stress levels, we are both so much more relaxed about things.

liloandstitch

Agutka - so sorry to hear about SIL. Hope it gets sorted - the second opinion sounds a good idea.

Bunnie1982, glad you feel so much better following the move and I hope clomid goes well for you.

Lilo

dizziblonde

I'm hideously angry and bitter today... found out my cousin, who is, let's put it this way - a workshy little scrounger who has played the system for every penny she could for years and years (we're talking suicide "attempts for attention and to be signed off sick when it looked like she might have to do stuff like find a job and pay her rent) - in response to being pushed to actively look for work.... got pregnant to play the system even further.

Of course, she got lucky at the drop of a hat. There is no justice, karma, nice guys getting anywhere in this world... I'm beyond angry at the unfairness of it all... she's ridden the system for the best part of 15 years, never done a days' work in her life, has no more health issues than myself and I've always worked - and yet she gets the one thing me and my oh so desperately want - and she doesn't want the kid, she just wants a meal ticket to sit around and get the benefits people off her back.

And yes, if you look at it from the outside I appear to be being incredibly harsh and judgemental but we've had this girl's antics for a good couple of decades now so I'm not being.

ginvzt

Oh, well, I got news - swine flu... I came home last night and I had fever of 38.4!!! I could barely drive home as all my muscles were aching so much! So called GP, got Tamiflu (thanks OH, he went and got it all - I am locking myself inside the house not to spread it any further). I was so week yesterday night, that I couldn't even press a button on the toaster how much I was aching!!!!

Feeling better this morning, fever went down after Tamiflu and lots of paracetamol. I am going to way and see how I feel on Monday before cancelling my pre-op appointment (it is on Monday) and if I am feeling fine, I will just go for it. If not, I'll call hospital to discuss what can be done...

Keep safe all - you don't want this rubbish!