The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

jiblets1

thanks ladies.
Things are quite a lot better today. My friend did come and speak to me today - she knew I was upset with her. Mostly I think maybe I did over-react, but she did also get caught in the middle of a general rant, at least part of which was directed at me. But she has been and showed me that she cares and it's made me feel a lot better.
I did manage to make it into the staff room today, which is good, because yesterday I just felt like becoming withdrawn and not facing people.
So definately an improvement.

Can I put out another request for info? My first treatment appointment (for ICSI) is in a few weeks, and I don't really know what to expect and what I should remember to ask. Any help appreciated...

toniq

I did write u a post jiblets, but it sounded a bit full on so i deleted it, i'll try and simplify what i mean xxxxx

I'm sorry i can't remember if u r private or nhs,

The icsi part is more of an exact science to making the embryo than reg ivf as u know.

I wouldn't want to know much more than normal ivf as the icsi bit doesn't make ur treatment any different, they do that part so u r just doing the normal ivf with them doing the extra. U should have better chance of stronger embryos with icsi though. Icsi usually is needed with sperm issues.

What i ask at ivf appts is quite standard, i always check how many embryos they implant as there are rulings in the pipeline to cut down and i need to make sure i can have at least 2 implanted.

Check what day transfers they specialise or prefer to do, i know mine likes to get them to blasto ( day 5) before they put them in to give an actual pregnancy a greater chance, as 3 day transfers don't always get to blasto inside u.

Though saying that, i know several people who have fallen on a 3 day transfer, so obviously they got to blasto inside themselves.

U need to get the nurses number/mobile number so any issues u arent messing around trying to get hold of hospital.
If u r private, u should have ur consultants number.
Clinic card which u can actually read and know when ur appts are.

U should have a meds card which shows what u take and when, i photocopy this as it is handy incase u lose it.

The peeps in the lab that do the icsi are embryologists, i get a chance to meet them , which is nice.

so if u r still here and no totally lost!
u will have scans, injections, more scans, more injections, scans, trigger, ivf retrieval, pessaries, 3/5 days later u have embryo implanted usually vaginal, keep taking pessaries and thats it xxxxxxxx

jujugaboo

jiblets1 wrote: »

thanks ladies.
Things are quite a lot better today. My friend did come and speak to me today - she knew I was upset with her. Mostly I think maybe I did over-react, but she did also get caught in the middle of a general rant, at least part of which was directed at me. But she has been and showed me that she cares and it's made me feel a lot better.
I did manage to make it into the staff room today, which is good, because yesterday I just felt like becoming withdrawn and not facing people.
So definately an improvement.

Can I put out another request for info? My first treatment appointment (for ICSI) is in a few weeks, and I don't really know what to expect and what I should remember to ask. Any help appreciated...

I have had one failed ICSI treatment last year and currently waiting for second one. I have just found out that the hospital where I had my treatment before has now closed and they are probably going to send me to another one which is miles away!! I will get a letter next week.

I found the treatment fine I had no problems with the drugs and no side effects really. I wrote down details of each scan I had, how many folicies how thick the lining was etc..I had accupunture which helped me relax and helps get a good thick lining for the embryo to hang onto. If you want to know anything please feel free to ask.

jiblets1

Thanks toniq - lots of food for thought there, and thanks jujugaboo - i am thinking about the acupunture for when it comes to it. Anything that'll stop me going welcomed is a good idea...

they must think i'm right weird in school at the moment. I nearly passed out at lunchtime today. they had to put me to lie down, and phoned my parents to come get me from work cos they were worried about me going home and going to sleep on my own. I'm supposed to be pregnant when i start fainting randomly! But CD 6 here, so that's not the case... The last time I felt dizzy was a few days into my last period. I hope this isn't going to be a usual thing. how odd.

toniq

Take it easy Jiblets, have u been checked for Anaemia? xxxxx

jiblets1

I'm definately going to head over to the doctors (although I won't be able to make an appointment until Tuesday now) to see if doc has any ideas. I assume that anaemia is something he'll want to check.

I wanted to share with you all something I've done this week. I don't know why I didn't think to mention it till now. Anyway, twitter has had a bit of a campaign going on. resolve.org in america has had national infertility awareness week, and lots of tweeps have foregone their usual anonymity and 'come out' in real life and on their facebook pages and things. I recently found the guts to become a fan of 999 reasons to laugh infertility on fb, where I had avoided it previously because I knew everyone would be able to see. When I plucked up the guts to join it, I thought to myself, why on earth would I be ashamed for people to see what I tell lots of people anyway? So since then I've really been spreading the word, and this week I did lots.

Every day this week I have posted a link to a blog or video on my facebook status and I'm so glad I have. I have had a few messages from friends I haven't seen in a while who have been suffering through infertility on their own. I've also had messages from people who have thanked me for giving them an insight into something they didn't know enough about. Someone who told me they have lost all their confidence since they lost a baby. Others who have been through it all and have their babies now, telling me how much they can relate to all the things I have posted.

I have been so touched by all the people who have shown me kindness this week, and I really hope that I have helped some others to understand or share their own story.

And I had to share this with you all, I just found it so spot on.
http://vimeo.com/11214833 this is from the blog http://hannahweptsarahlaughed.blogspot.com/

I'm really proud of myself for spreading the word. I'm really pleased that so many people checked back in everyday to see what else I was going to share with them. Why isn't infertility spoken about more in the media? Infertility is not a dirty secret.

I hope you're all having a great bank holiday weekend!

liloandstitch

That sounds great jibs X

Sorry havent been around much - havent been on the comp as much this week.

Af still hasnt shown up - now over 2 weeks late, so havent a clue what is happening now, other than I have had 2 changes of Antidepressants, so I guess they have screwed up my cycle. And no, I am not testing again, if I wasnt pregnant last week, I def wont be now, as no 'activity' went on after about day 14, so rather impossible!

Anyhow, hope everyone is enjoying the weekend - lilo

jujugaboo

Got my letter from Primary Care Trust at the weekend. They have given me another chance at ICSI which I am grateful for but they have cancelled it at my local hospital and now I will have to travel 32 miles to another hospital of their choice. This is going to be very difficult for scans and blood tests I am going to have to tell work everything and take lots of time off unpaid. The worst thing is I have got to wait till the end of June, its another 2 months of waiting and putting your life on hold. It will make it nearly a year since my last treatment, why oh why does it take so long.

OK rant over for now.

liloandstitch

Hugs jujugaboo, it is disheartening when changes happen. Use the time to make sure that you are in the best possible emotional state when you do go ahead. Travelling does add to the 'fun' but it isnt impossible. Try and reccy the place as much as possible and think in advance of the things you may face - parking, early starts, traffic etc and think of ways round it all. Make sure that you know different routes, lots of places to park, can you stay nearby if you are concerned about getting there for a key appointment (like embryo tfr etc).

Try and plan some things into the next couple of weeks to give you things to look forward to and break the time up a bit.

Hope some of this helps - the other thing, is can any of your blood tests be done at a local place rather than travelling just for that, and can you be seen really early or really late to work round work

Good luck and baby dust, anyway! LIlo

ginvzt

jujugaboo, sorry you still have to keep waiting and have to change hospitals...

I know it will be 25-35 miles trip one way. GP mentioned that it would be either St Mary's or Liverpool for us, so we know we would have a bit of a drive for those. That is if we ever get referred! I took my last Clomid pill tonight. Hopefully - it is my 7th cycle on Clomid and I am fed up with the dizziness, etc.