The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

fluffnutter

TeamLowe wrote: »

oh dear becca, not so good with the complex emotions, are they?
i wish i could get flashcards for DH so instead of having arguments he can hold up the variety that he's feeling...sometimes the easiest way to resolve things is for me to do the whole 'are you feeling angry because y and hurt because x and worried about me?' like you would with a small child who's thrown a toy lol

But that's the best way to communicate, particularly with people who aren't naturally forthcoming (i.e. approx. 99% of men). I do this sort of thing with the OH all the time. 'How do you feel?' is too open-ended for a lot of people (men). It's easier to prompt them: 'Do you feel *this*?' 'Does such and such make you feel *that*?' is often a much more useful way to start a discussion.

time2deal

fluffnutter wrote: »

But that's the best way to communicate, particularly with people who aren't naturally forthcoming (i.e. approx. 99% of men). I do this sort of thing with the OH all the time. 'How do you feel?' is too open-ended for a lot of people (men). It's easier to prompt them: 'Do you feel *this*?' 'Does such and such make you feel *that*?' is often a much more useful way to start a discussion.

Just don't do what I do. Which is wait for ages, get frustrated, and then say 'are you being stupid and still stropping over x or y?'. Not surprisingly it doesn't get a good response!

I need to learn to say things before I get frustrated and build up things into something much bigger than it is.

Anyway, I went today to try and get a blood test to see if I can work out what is happening with me. Still no AF, but negative tests. I went to the GP - which I hate, they have never read the notes, so I have to explain my whole history again, which mades me a bit stressed and weepy. He told me to go to the hospital nearby to get the blood test, but failed to tell me they closed at 3pm! So I walked the 25 mins or so to get there, only to find out it was closed, and only open 8-5.30 weekdays (except Fridays). So I suppose I can do it on Wednesday.

Do other GP's do blood tests at the surgery? I hate that they make me go to the hospital. Even when it is open its normally a long wait.

I'm not feeling great today actually. I went shopping and realised that lunchtime in West London is yummy mummy time. I know it oftens feels like there are so many mum and kids about, but I swear it was true in Westfield today. Nothing but prams and tiny babies. And the playground beside the GP was rammed. I should have known, and now I'm home alone and feeling !!!!. DH is at work.

Time just seems to be moving so slowly now. I can't help thinking that this skipped period means I have a chance, but I know I really don't, and August for IVF feels so far away. And being at the doctor today reminded me of when I had an appointment with the same doc in Dec 2011 talking about the same things, and nothing has really changed. He was nice, and trying to engage me, which also just makes me a bit teary.

Also, in a very non-MSE sort of way, we are very lucky now that we could actually get away with me quitting my job. I go to work and I can't really work out why. I don't love it, we don't need the money, but what would I do at home? I had imagined at this stage in life I would have a kid to give me an excuse to work part-time, but instead I'm just working for works sake now. I like my job, but sometimes I don't see the point.

I know it's just a bad day. Life just feels so bleeugh today.

TeamLowe

Lots of love t2d, bad days are sometimes very bad indeed

Could you find another excuse to go part time, maybe a fun course? X x

fluffnutter

t2d, you will have a baby soon. Promise.

fluffnutter

Re. blood test, t2d, my surgery does them. They have a phlebotomy clinic, by appt only. We used to have to go to the local hospital and take a ticket (a bit like the cheese counter at the supermarket ) and wait for hours. But now my GP's surgery does them. You never have to wait, they're really prompt, they're there every morning and you can usually get an important at short notice. If you're really poorly you can get one done in the afternoon too which they send straight to the big hospital for results the next day.

tea_lover

time2deal wrote: »

Just don't do what I do. Which is wait for ages, get frustrated, and then say 'are you being stupid and still stropping over x or y?'. Not surprisingly it doesn't get a good response!

I need to learn to say things before I get frustrated and build up things into something much bigger than it is.

This is what I do. I would heartily not recommend it to anyone .

I think something, say nothing about it for ages, get more and more annoyed that OH isn't talking to me about something I've never mentioned to him, end up shouting at him when the frustration gets to boiling point, he gets in a strop because I've shouted about something he didn't even know was an issue, I say he doesn't love me because he's in a strop, he says this is all too much like hard work and he's going to leave, I spend the next week trying to win him round with badly-cooked meals, we never do end up speaking about the original issue that was winding me up, I forget the lessons I should have learnt by now and still assume he's a mind-reader.

And so it goes on....

time2deal

Tea.... are we actually the same person! That's exactly what I do.

Feeling a bit better after fish and chips and redwine.

tea_lover

I've just had fish & chips too!

becca0417

I always do that too! And I had fish & chips last night (well minus the fish as I'm vege :rotfl:)

Thanks ladies all is ok now.

t2d I can't really say anything helpful but I do admire the way you have handled the cr*p the last few months has thrown at you.
We have to go to the meat counter style pathology dept at the local hospital too. Tis rubbish! I always get annoyed with the old people that are queueing up at 7.45am when I need to get to work!!

tea_lover

Morning ladies, how is everyone today?

lucyloo - is it EC for you today or did I dream that?? Hope it's all going ok x.