Wedding dilemma- No kids rule!!

floss2

stas4949 wrote: »

Just tell them hubbie made a mistake with numbers and you can only actually invite them for the evening..... puts the ball back in his court and lets you off the hook without, hopefully, offending anyone..... :D

Fab idea....I'd go with this

username456

Hi,

We're not having any children at the wedding, I have nothing against children at weddings, but not mine! I want my guests to relax, have an drink and not worry what their child is up to - I'm putting on the invites something along the lines of:

"To allow all guests to relax and let their hair down the wedding will be adults only"


My SIL2b in the meantime fell pregnant and will have the baby about a month before the wedding, I worried a bit that I'd have say 'ok' to the baby coming (although I feel really strongly about having no children), but they've arranged for the baby to go to it's grannies for the day (although I'm not sure how long the new parent's will last - I don;t know if it'll be lack of sleep or worrying about the baby that'll send them off home early!)

I think in the long run, I would have stuck to my guns, it is our wedding day after all and it would've upset me if I walked down the aisle accompanied by a crying child.

frannyann

arls0308 wrote: »

My SIL2b in the meantime fell pregnant and will have the baby about a month before the wedding, I worried a bit that I'd have say 'ok' to the baby coming (although I feel really strongly about having no children), but they've arranged for the baby to go to it's grannies for the day (although I'm not sure how long the new parent's will last - I don;t know if it'll be lack of sleep or worrying about the baby that'll send them off home early!)

.

Not wanting to in anyway 'rain on your parade' I would say just be prepared, the baby could be late (mine was 8 days late :eek:) So potentially the new baby could be under a month old, mine required breast feeding every bleeding hour!! So it may be a case of 'its fine to leave baby at grannies' now, but they may feel completely different on the day. (and a teeny tiny baby wouldn't make that much noise anyway )

WASHER

pelirocco wrote: »

I thought weddings were a celebration that you shared with family and friends , never understood the no children rule

I agree with the above. My husband and I were recently invited to a relatives wedding but no children allowed, we chose not to attend, a wedding is a family event, not all children run around and are noisy.

Torry_Quine

WASHER wrote: »

I agree with the above. My husband and I were recently invited to a relatives wedding but no children allowed, we chose not to attend, a wedding is a family event, not all children run around and are noisy.

Absolutely agree I'd would never have occurred to us to say no children at our wedding. :T

chelle2k9

think i'm inclined to go with the no children rule this way all the mums and dads get to relax and enjoy the day without worrying about keeping kids entertained and the kids don't end up bored silly in church/waiting about for hours on photographs etc

dizziblonde

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Absolutely agree I'd would never have occurred to us to say no children at our wedding. :T

Why when this thread comes up, with a specific query and someone wanting to play fair with all concerned - do the emotional blackmail crew ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS jump in wanting to run over people who've made an informed decision about an event that THEY are paying for and guilt them into backing down? Some people don't like children, some people can't relate well to children, some people don't know how to deal with small children (witness most politician visits local school photoshoot), some people (like myself) have very specific reasons for not wanting children around us on our wedding day (for me it's a reminder of my infertility and I'd quite like to have a day without my biological inadequacies being rubbed in my face), some of us (again, myself) are teachers and want a day to switch off and cut loose and let our hair down (doesn't make us rabid child-haters - just human... heck, even parents admit to wanting a break sometimes - and you always love your own)...

Sorry but it really bothers me that every single thread about this degenerates into the same lines being trotted out. The OP posted with a specific issue, not discussing the blanket ban/no ban - wanting to play fair, and worried about allowing some children and not others... they wanted advice on how to approach that, not the wishy washy "weddings are for families and that involves children" line. At the end of the day - the wedding is paid for by a group of people (generally bride and groom these days) and I'm sorry, but it's their party - they're allowed to choose who they want to invite, and people should respect their wishes. If they can't come because of childcare issues - that's their decision, but no one has any right to condemn or railroad any couple into inviting people (small or large) that they do not want at their wedding.

It really really annoys me.

I think the OP needs to be fair and consistent - if you don't want children for numbers reasons or whatever, you can't really turn around and bend that now for people who you barely know - that's the one thing liable to start a massive massive you-know-what-storm.

As for weddings being family affairs - I'm not close to a lot of my family, I don't believe that because I happen to share a gene pool with people it automatically means I've got to like them - we've got a large "adopted" family of very close friends, and a few relatives we do get on well with - but I'm not inviting people I don't like, who don't like me (amazing how things that have been said get back in a family where people are usually not speaking) but who'll roll along anyway to criticize my dress, complain I haven't sprogged yet and are just there for the free feed. A wedding is an event for who the bride and groom wish it to be - there's far too much stereotyping, generalizing and arm-twisting goes on... we've invited the relatives we're close to and want to share our day with (so parents, siblings and then our adopted relatives like honorary aunties etc - and the family friend who's been a surrogate dad figure to me for over 20 years) - and no children.

floss2

WASHER wrote: »

I agree with the above. My husband and I were recently invited to a relatives wedding but no children allowed, we chose not to attend, a wedding is a family event, not all children run around and are noisy.

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Absolutely agree I'd would never have occurred to us to say no children at our wedding.

Yes, a wedding is a family event, but I do not have young children - my sons are both in their 20's - and we have no grandchildren so why should we have to put up with other people's children (no matter how well behaved) on our day? We are paying for the event, not them, so surely we should be able to have final say in who we want to attend and who we would prefer not to invite?

We recently went to a wedding where the only children under 17 were the groom's younger son, his baby grandson, and the bride's grandaughter. Fab day, wonderful evening, and no overexcited children or overanxious parents, just a large group enjoying themselves without worrying about whether the little ones are asleep or where the older kids have vanished to.

Everybody has an opinion, and is entitled to express that opinion, but at the end of the day, we all want our own personal perfect day - and if some of those days do not involve children, then that is those couples' choice and it is not for us to condemn anyone for saying so.

rachiee

My mum had no kids, she got married 3rd October this year!! Alot of people were not happy about it but as far as I'm concerned they just scream, run about and just be general little monkeys! Keep strong.. No kids!! x

Torry_Quine

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Absolutely agree I'd would never have occurred to us to say no children at our wedding.

Sorry if that statement offended anyone but it was no more than a simple statement of fact. It is your wedding and your decision. We all have issues and it is up to us how to resolve them. Ideally some things wouldn't come up but with so many couples getting married later things are very different nowadays.