Wedding dilemma- No kids rule!!

greenface

rachiee wrote: »

My mum had no kids, she got married 3rd October this year!! No kids!! x

she had you !!

dizzieblonde well said

freinds son and his partner recently got married and they said due to the venues licensing laws sorry no under 18yo and left it there.All was good no kids partay went till the small hours (bride was only 17 shhhhh)

username456

frannyann wrote: »

Not wanting to in anyway 'rain on your parade' I would say just be prepared, the baby could be late (mine was 8 days late :eek:) So potentially the new baby could be under a month old, mine required breast feeding every bleeding hour!! So it may be a case of 'its fine to leave baby at grannies' now, but they may feel completely different on the day. (and a teeny tiny baby wouldn't make that much noise anyway )

Not 'raining on parade at all'. I have had friends who've had children for the past 10 years and I know the baby could be 2 weeks late, they'll both be tired, she'll possibly still be bleeding (especially if it's late), leaky boobs and mainly not wanting to leave the most precious thing in the world with anyone else - I don't think I would to be honest. I had to chuckle to myself when the father2b was earnestly telling me how they were looking forward to the wedding as they didn't want to become the kind've parents where their lives revolved around their baby - when for the first few months - that is all that happens. I don't think they have many friend's who've had children and I think they'll be in for a shock. But a lovely one :-)

I was surprised when they said they both would be coming, and to be honest, if they leave after the wedding I won't mind (it's a civil ceremony so only 1/2 an hour).

Nearer the time, I will ask my bloke (as it's his sister) if he'd like the baby to come (although this will go against everything I've wanted from the start) as it is his sister and his wedding too; if he does then I'll have to ring around and check the people who I've asked and can't bring their kids if it's ok with them.

runnerbean17

I have 2 kids and have been invited to a few weddings and every single time they had a no kids rule. I was not offended at all, personally it was nice to get a nice day out with my husband, without the kids (Only happens on these kind of occasions!!) not many weddings seem to happen without the handful of offended people. Enjoy your wedding day!

Mme.Hibou

arls0308 wrote: »

if he does then I'll have to ring around and check the people who I've asked and can't bring their kids if it's ok with them.

Nooooo, I wouldn't do this, that would really upset the balance. Parents know what it's like with newborns so they'd understand seeing your SIL there with her very new baby if they'd left 2,3,4 whatever year olds at home. It's your wedding, you don't need to justify your decisions with anyone else.

shellsuit

Lydia82 wrote: »

Nooooo, I wouldn't do this, that would really upset the balance. Parents know what it's like with newborns so they'd understand seeing your SIL there with her very new baby if they'd left 2,3,4 whatever year olds at home. It's your wedding, you don't need to justify your decisions with anyone else.

Totally agree, or you might find yourself with people asking 'Well now that you mention it, would it be OK if...."

I wouldn't tell anyone else and if the couple want to go with the newborn and you don't have a problem with it, just leave it at that.

username456

Lydia & Shellsuit - thanks - I never would have thought about this - there anren't many people with children coming anyway and the majority are family who'll probably be seeing the baby (if it comes) for the first time, so it'll be nice for everyone - so best not to mention it. I'm more worried about the people with older kids to be honest - but like you said, it's our wedding - thanks for this - it's all a minefield isn't it!

frannyann

Lydia82 wrote: »

Nooooo, I wouldn't do this, that would really upset the balance. Parents know what it's like with newborns so they'd understand seeing your SIL there with her very new baby if they'd left 2,3,4 whatever year olds at home. It's your wedding, you don't need to justify your decisions with anyone else.

shellsuit wrote: »

Totally agree, or you might find yourself with people asking 'Well now that you mention it, would it be OK if...."

I wouldn't tell anyone else and if the couple want to go with the newborn and you don't have a problem with it, just leave it at that.

Totally agree with the above, a newborn baby has the Awwww factor and screaming 3 year has the AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! factor

Triggles

Personally, I hate the whole "no kids" thing at weddings, but if that's the route you choose for whatever reason, it's probably best to stick to it. As a parent who generally only has babysitters that are family members, if I had to go to the trouble of finding a sitter specifically for a "no kids" affair, then got there and found that some were exempt for no good reason, I'd be quite annoyed. Thankfully, nobody in our families has ever done (nor that I know of, plans to do) the "no kids" thing at their weddings. If they did, we would most likely politely decline to attend. But just as having no kids at the wedding is their choice, declining the invitation is our choice. No big deal either way, I suppose.

rachiee

greenface wrote: »

she had you !!

She had me 20 years ago and got married 31 years ago to my father who she is now a widow too..

kit

I've been to a wedding with a no kids rule and was more than happy to have some time away from being a mum for a change!
I've also been to a wedding where only a few kids were invited, mine weren't invited. Whilst I was a little put out at first, I understood the need for numbers to be kept under control due to the size of the location. It worked out cheaper for me too cause I saved on hotel costs!!
Do what YOU want. Dont be afraid of offending people. Its your wedding and should be all about what you both want rather than what anyone else wants.