Wedding dilemma- No kids rule!!

skintsaver_2

we are due to go to a wedding next year which is no children and i am fine about it but my sister in law is not happy about my dd not being invited as she has older brothers and sisters (in their twenties) who are allowed to go but my dd who is their sister is not allowed,
if you dont want children there then stick to your guns as its your big day and you should be able to be relaxed and enjoy it, not worrying about what people will say about a few kids being there that you dont even know
Its all or nothing i think,
when we get married we have decided just to go abroad with our dd as it saves all the arguments lol

KK22_2

Stick to your guns. You set a no children rule, so you should stick to it. I would rather offend these two people who you have never met and your H2B hasn't seen in 6 years, rather than offend my close friends and family. Definitely do not allow their kids to go. It's your day and as another poster has said above, you don't want arguments to kick off later that night!!!

*Louise*

Can't you get around it another way?

Rather than saying 'no kids', can you say 'restricted numbers'??

I definitely wouldn't allow people's kids who are strangers to you to go when you have had to say to your friends and relatives that they can't bring theirs!!

Jo_R_2

I'd say stick to your plans, no kids.

I say this because my sister is getting married soon, and her and her husband-to-be decided no children - except mine (I have three, two DDs and baby), which on her part was a reasoned decision as a) my two DDs are bridesmaids and b) I'm her chief bridesmaid and being as I'm breastfeeding baby, if baby can't come then neither can I:D

This has led to a horrendous amount of trouble which I won't go into but suffice to say it means a very important member of the proceedings dropped out as their child couldn't come which has totally turned everything upside down and left my sister in tears and lost her husband-to-be a very good friendship. I can understand the reasoning totally but I can also see how it has caused upset.

kr15snw

We had to go down a similar route, as if we had the kids it would be an extra 15 people on the list!

So we've only got our 4 nieces on the list for the day (2 are flower girls and 2 are 10 and 11) which we dont mind. Our cousins have understood and said they probably wont even bother bringing them to the evening do so they can have the whole day to themselves.

You have to say none or all, so if you let them come your family will be hurt

the_witchqueen

You might be worrying over nothing. Why does everyone assume that these people will be offended if their children are not invited? Have you sounded them out about this ? Do they have a history of being unpleasant in the past? Is there a reason why your fiance's family do not see them ? In my experience most people just want the bride and groom to have a wonderful day of their own choosing, and are quite happy to fall in line with any arrangements that they may make.
I hope you have a lovely day.

frannyann

I have posted this somewhere else, but at my first (:o) wedding we had 'no kids' rule, mainly at the request of (ex) hubby to be at the time. Everyone on my side of the family (many with children) were fine with it and saw it as a chance to have a grown up day! BUT his father was not happy and nagged, argued and blackmailed us into allowing his sisters two to come. It caused no end of bad feeling (luckly not at us, but at FIL) for insisting even though everyone else had made arrangements. Even worse, SIL dressed them up as bridesmaids on the day (without my knowledge) :mad:

lilian1977

I have said no kids as we simply don't have the space, however my brother is bringing his daughter as she won't even be one year old at that point and they're coming from Russia so no way I'm asking them to organise a sitter! Different situation I guess. I would definitely say to your OH that he has to say no.

serenawell

Im also having a "if I haven't met them, they are not invited rule" OH wasn't too impressed when I told him.

foxxymynx

stick to your guns!

Personally, we're having 29 guest, 26 family (including 13 sprogs - yep, half of the guests are chldren!) and 3 friends. It's going to be a small, intimate afternoon/evening, literally with our nearest and dearest