Trying For a Baby III

becs

Nobody has even suggested having "rules" about not posting ss things etc. LeopardLady merely pointed out that she finds it upsetting and causes more anguish which is why she feels she wants to step away from this thread. I totally agree with her. It seems that we obviously don't deserve the same support. There's alot of comments I would love to post on this thread sometimes but I do consider the feelings of my fellow ttc'ers and reserve that opinion for myself because I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable on here. I find it very upsetting getting af arrive month after month and I find it even more distressing when my hopes have been built up by various symptoms in the 2ww being automatically attributed to pg. I hope none of you have to still be her as I am after 29 months of TTC and having the pain of af appearing month after month. Please just try to imagine if you were how it would feel if a dozen or so strangers had convinced you the symptoms you have every single month mean that you are pregnant only for af to show a few days later? It really is more upsetting and distressing than I can put into words. So please respect the comments that have been made and don't jump on a bandwagon to slate the posters of them.

Natalie6999

Becs I can understand how you feel after 29 months, I have been TTC for over 4 years & almost every month I dread AF coming, but discussing how I feel helps me to realise that I'm not the only one going through it.

As I said we all have our own ways of dealing with it.

becs

I'm all for discussing it Natalie but please tell me HOW it helps to have someone tell you that because your bbs are sore it means you're pg? How does that help? How does it help anyone TTC each month to be convinced they are pg before af arrives? Am I missing something here because all it does for me is cause more distress to have had that hope and then af show.

Natalie6999

How do you think it feels to see posters being able to have IVF, as I am over 40 & already have a child I can't be considered for NHS treatment & can't afford to pay for private treatment. We all have our own angle on the TTC front but we all have to cope whatever way we can.

Like I said, I won't be posting on the 12m+ thread any more, so it won't arise again.

twinklie

Erm, I feel a tad out of things reading what's gone on over the last page. I think, or I hope we can all understand everyones point of view and how emotive a subject ttc can be.

I hope everyone is ok anyway. (((hugs))) to those that need them. And to everyone else a big *hello*

I'm looking forward to having a toilet for this time when AF comes. Last month was a NIGHTMARE. So this month is going to be wonderful...aside from the fact I'll be back at school - which is never good.

becs

I now feel that I can't post anywhere. I don't post on the TTC forum because it is mainly ivf'ers and like you I would not be eligible for IVF so feel a bit out on my own there. This board has been my sanctuary for more than a year but I now feel outcast by all of this, so thank you very much!
Support was what you all seem to be going on about but that obviously doesn't apply to those of us that find the ss element of this board too hard to handle.
Some of us also do not have the blessing that you already have so we do not even have that to fall back on. Whilst I know that just because you have a child does not stop you longing for another as much as we do you do still have a child which is something I may never have.

scotsgirl_3

I would echo Twinkie - I would hate to see this thread become argumentative but everyone has different needs and feelings regarding TTC. Some people find it helps to discuss their symptoms, maybe because a few days of optimism is better than always feeling down, others find the disappointment of it too much. However, I've never really noticed people being badgered for info about symptoms, and maybe the easiest way around it would be for those who feel comfortable with the ups and downs to post their symptoms, and those who don't to maybe just chat but not mention specifics? Or to say as a part of their post that " I don't want to get my hopes up" and for others to respect when this is said?

I would agree that a lot of the "symptoms" may just be normal cycle stuff, but a lot of us are just starting to get in tune with our cycles, many of us having been on hormonal contraceptives for a long time. It's kind of a voyage of discovery which I personally have found quite scary/strange, but at the same time sort of empowering. However, having been on the pill since I was a teenager, I found it quite useful to come on here and find that all the strange twinges and symptoms I was experiencing were kind of normal.

I would hate for anyone to feel uncomfortable here, so I think we need to try and find some sort of balance. Please stick around Becs, you're very welcome here.

Gena

I like this thread and the chatter that goes on (even though it can take ages to catch up every evening!). I like and have huge respect for those who have been here longer, and really appreciate your advice. I have started to lurk on "the other thread" though I don't feel ready to post there right now.

I hate confrontation and arguments. Not sure if this post will make things worse. I find it really hard to say what I think because it is so so so easy for someone to read it the wrong way. I don't want to offend/upset anyone. The trouble with virtual conversations/emails/posts is that the intention behind the words written can be read in different ways depending on who is reading and what mood they're in. Personally I didn't see anything negative in LL's first post, she was just saying how she felt.

twinklie

Woah becs. Please don't feel you can't come here. You are not cast out. I understand why people feel the ssing difficult to deal with. Its just genuine excitement and enthusiasm by those new(ish) to the whole ttc thing, sharing it here when they can't share it in real life for whatever reason.

Nobody is trying to make anyone uncomfortable on purpose I'm sure. I think it's just 2 very different ways of dealing with it. Some need to draw positives by SS some would rather not get their hopes up. I genuinely feel quite bad about this current situation and am sure it's not helping anyone to fight amongst ourselves.

Heaven knows life can be difficult enough...with out bickering over things here as well. I'm not trying to belittle anyones thoughts and feelings at all. And have no magic suggestion to solve the problem. But I do hope that people don't feel they have to leave over it.

Gena

Twinklie you put it much better and with far less words than I did!! I must have missed the news about your toilet in. Is your whole bathroom finished?

Scotsgirl I think you're right, those who want to ss carry right on, those who don't bring it up we respect their privacy. I can't say what I'll be doing next week but I want to try not to raise my hopes up.

Becs - I'd hate to see you leave after tonight. We've already lost LL and Nunny!

Hugs, love and baby dust to all. xxxxxxxxxxxx