**Daily Chat Wet Wednesday - come in from the rain 15th July 2009*

Ames

Why am I not allowed to thank Z and Sammy and Whatatwit?

You're all right I have been coping. True, the flat's no better than when he left, but the point is that it's no worse, which shows I can cope.

Anyway, I'm going to bed now, after writing a list of the things to talk to the doc about tomorrow.

whatatwit

ZTD wrote: »

Dunno when she's getting them back. You missed them today. And it was raining.

Wet hoodie competition... :T

*humphhhhh*

ZTD

whatatwit wrote: »

*humphhhhh*

No humphing - that's extra...

scaredy_cat

night Ames, hope the dr listens.

Wol2

Hi All

Wol and Numpty here :j:j.....well and truly knackered from sitting around watching the top totty move all the earth in my garden today (Oops Numpty syas don;t include him in that last statement.... about the top totty that is )

Ames.....your OH obviously wants to try and see if he is entiteld to anything when you split up by virtue of the fact that he has been both cohabiting AND your carer...(under the new cohabitation laws that came into effect in 2007 I think?)...No doubt he will be looking into claiming some financial disadvantage to himseolf in order to care for you and that you have gained a financial advantage as a result.

How long have you been together....did he become your carer AFTER he became your OH?

Bottom line is he will have a job to claim anything against you financially unless he goes to court and that doesn;t seem likely.

However you are right to be mindful of how he may twist things....but he is a manipulator after all....

Don;t continue the discussion with him on FB tonight..it's classic tactics, get you on the defensive and keep you talking so he can generate more ammunition and work out his next move. You have said what you wanted to say....tell him you are going to bed and will resume the conversation tomorrow on FB (i.e. NOT face to face)..and that you hope by then he will have researched his "rights"

Most important atm is to inform your trusted health professionals ASAP and demonstrate to them how he is taking advantage of you and emotionally blackmailing you.........calmly and rationally.......and make sure they know he is taking advantage of your vulnerability........

Hugs to all
xxx

bookseller1980

whatatwit wrote: »

Ames, there is a DFW frying pan available and Sally has[STRIKE] plots[/STRIKE] space at her[STRIKE] burial ground[/STRIKE] allotment.

Bookie, is said friend paying you for the fags, or were they a thank you?

She was going to bring the money over. (hope I'm not ressurecting ols issues. Of course they are for me.:D)
Hope she's ok. Maybe I should have checked.

Wol2

ZTD wrote: »

The latter...

I also believe he's putting stadium seating up for the DFW ladies for when they are "just passing by..."

Wol will be charging admission...

:rotfl::rotfl::D:D:D

skint_spice

Bookie, I'd probably buy the ciggies anyway but I'm a sap - maybe she had a good reason for letting you down?

Wol, when is this bus going to yours?

Ames

Thanks Wol.

It's complicated. He stole a shedload of money from his employers and had to leave work and his flat. So we agreed he'd move in here as my carer and we've claimed benefits as partners (not fraud as between us we'd get more money living apart). Given that he was on community service and has almost no chance of getting a job, I don't see that he was financially disadvantaged. My worry is with the things I bought, he could argue that it was using 'our' income support, and so he has a right to them. On the other hand, I can argue that the IS paid the bills only, and things like my dvds and books I bought from my disability benefits.

I'm going to talk to the doc tomorrow, but I'm not sure which one it'll be. Some of them are great, but one's less than useless. I might try and contact the outreach team too if I can.

I've told him that we're not talking any more tonight, and he wants me to go through the conversation tomorrow, he thinks I'll realise that I'm being unreasonable and manipulative.

scaredy_cat

Wol2 wrote: »

Hi All

Wol and Numpty here :j:j.....well and truly knackered from sitting around watching the top totty move all the earth in my garden today (Oops Numpty syas don;t include him in that last statement.... about the top totty that is )

Ames.....your OH obviously wants to try and see if he is entiteld to anything when you split up by virtue of the fact that he has been both cohabiting AND your carer...(under the new cohabitation laws that came into effect in 2007 I think?)...No doubt he will be looking into claiming some financial disadvantage to himseolf in order to care for you and that you have gained a financial advantage as a result.

How long have you been together....did he become your carer AFTER he became your OH?

Bottom line is he will have a job to claim anything against you financially unless he goes to court and that doesn;t seem likely.

However you are right to be mindful of how he may twist things....but he is a manipulator after all....

Don;t continue the discussion with him on FB tonight..it's classic tactics, get you on the defensive and keep you talking so he can generate more ammunition and work out his next move. You have said what you wanted to say....tell him you are going to bed and will resume the conversation tomorrow on FB (i.e. NOT face to face)..and that you hope by then he will have researched his "rights"

Most important atm is to inform your trusted health professionals ASAP and demonstrate to them how he is taking advantage of you and emotionally blackmailing you.........calmly and rationally.......and make sure they know he is taking advantage of your vulnerability........

Hugs to all
xxx

just a thought to add to what Wol has said, copy and paste you converstaions from FB to a document so you have proof of what he's saying.