A fresh start

chevalier

Hi Seax
Yeah to the car going. Hope you got a good amount for it.

Sorry to hear about the issues with the benefits that is a really downer, if he isn't entitled. I hope you can sort it asap

Well done Eager Elephant for helping Seaxwyn potentially avoid a cost error even if it isn't her fault.

Sorry about the freelance work drying up. On the other hand imagine how dire your finances would be if you were relying on this still:eek::eek:. Whilst the job may be turning into a pain. At least it is still there to take advantage of. It never hurts to look for alternatives though, as long as they pay more...

Have you been able to entice OH to do any more ebay?

chev

Seaxwyn

Hi Chev. Yes I'm grateful for the job, though I hope not to be stuck there for ever.

OH is as usual doing nothing very fast. Nothing more has gone on ebay though he seems to spend a lot of time "getting things ready".

I had a surprise offer yesterday. My parents want to buy us a car. My dad says he would like to give me five or six grand because "you might as well get a good one!!

I am now in a big dilemma. We had thoroughly considered all the pros and cons of having a car and concluded that we didn't need one enough to justify the cost of insurance, tax, fuel etc. It is still the case that we can't really afford those things. But on the other hand I think my parents feel more secure if we are able to come and go to them easily - today we are going over by bike and it is obviously a bit of a hassle and we can't carry much.

So I don't know what to do! And I feel really embarrassed that I'm 47 years old and my parents still feel they have to look after me.

What would you do, DFW friends?

Karmacat

Hi Seaxwyn! Just catching up with your thread .... well, on the dilemma of accepting money from your parents .... I've accepted money from my mum in the last few years, and I'm older than you. The only difference is that it didn't mean extra expenditure from me, which is what the car will mean for you. Can you make space for it in your budgets, do you think?

Wordsmith

Hi, Seaxwyn. What a lovely offer! I am roughly the same age as you and my father was still giving my sister and me money as recently as last year - he'd say, "It'll be yours one day and I don't need it, so you might as well have it now." Didn't make me feel great, but although he didn't have money, he had enough to live on and it pleased him no end to be able to help out a bit. In fact, he'd get upset if we tried to refuse it. So I can see both sides.

And although you don't need a car, having one at times of emergency will be a godsend. Do they want to actually buy the car, or give you money to do so? If they gave you 6000, could you buy a car for 4,000 (you would still be able to get a good and reliable one for that) and use the rest of the money for tax, insurance etc, and any left over put into a new, separate account (where it will stay) for next year's expenses. You need only use it when you had to, so you wouldn't be spending unnecessarily on fuel.

Seaxwyn

Thanks you two. It is a comfort to know that I am not the only mature adult who accepts help from their parents. My dad has assured me that he doesn't need the money so I don't feel guilty about taking it that way. But I do feel ashamed that I have mismanaged my financial affairs so badly that they feel they need to step in.

I am inclined to accept the offer and get a small car that will be very fuel efficient and cheaper to tax. Wordsmith that is a good idea to use some of the money for tax, insurance, etc. I'm going to see my parents today so I will discuss it with them.

NorthernLas

I was just going to suggest what Wordsmith already has ... could you use some your folks kind offer to fund the tax, insurance, maintenance, petrol for a couple of years?

If you think that running costs could mess things up, would it be an ooption to look at costs of car hire once a month and emergency taxis when you need to go and see them?

Or do you live near one of the car share schemes that are starting to happen in cities in the UK?

Karmacat

The shame at your own mismanagement .... I can relate to that, but I've tried to get over it - and find ways to stabilise my situation, and increase my income. Physical situation now stabilised, its the increase thats so difficult, especially at the mo. Using some of the money to fund the ordinary expenses of having a car, or taking part in one of those transport schemes (like renting, but you're a member) sound brilliant suggestions.

hypno06

If part of the reason that they want you to have a car is to benefit them in some way (ie you being able to visit easier etc, get to them in case of emergency) then you have to consider that as part of the "deal" - yes you will benefit, but so will they, and that is obviously important to them to be able to do.

It comes down to being sensible - buying a reliable car that is cheap to run. with some research you can probably get something where the running costs are minimal in comparison to other cars.

hypno06

Oh, and as for "financial mismanagement" - pah - for what it is worth, even now....I am debt free....in control of my finances.....have started to SAVE......

BUT, my car is temperamental.....this winter has been a nightmare with it, and if it finally gives up the ghost anytime soon, guess what.....?

I will have to BORROW the money to buy a new one......shocking!!

That's life, though! Real life.....where is the shame in that....?

xx

lucielle

I think car HP is one of 'those' things you have to accept. We certainly do, especially after getting Morris and increasing our debt.
L