A fresh start

Seaxwyn

Hi MiT. I'm OK - sort of. Moneywise, my long run of luck has ended and I am heading back into the depths of overdraft really fast. I've got a lot more to pay out this month too, including new school clothes, laptop for DD who is going to university (she's paying half), holiday spending....

I have had so little freelance work in July and August that I am not covering outgoings. I have had a lot of work offered, which I had to refuse for different reasons, so it's encouraging that it's out there.

Helping my Dad is taking a lot of my time. He has decided to sell his house, so we have to start clearing it out. Dad is a historian and has a lot of old papers, maps etc, that he wants to make sure go into the right hands, so we are offering them to various libraries and museums. I've been helping with that most of the weekend.

Otherwise, things feel hard going. My OH is very up and down and has not got his head round the fact that I want to separate. There are lots of issues to deal with and I want to start, but he is not ready. Please don't comment on here as he does not like being discussed!

I feel the family is in a big flux. One DD is going to university and the other to art school next month. My DS starts secondary school, and DD3 starts her GCSE courses and has become very independent. My dad is selling his house.... everyone is starting a new life except for me!

millionaire_in_training

Ok no comments then. I know how you feel with all the changes. I've been there and done them all and your mind just sort of goes into panic mode. I keep thinking ' Is this it?' 'Is this all my life is?' Grief, dealing with kids, worrying about money all the time and I have just come to the decision that NO it bloody isn't going to be. I am taking control. I am only 47. Hopefully a good few years left in me. So I am going to grab it all and enjoy my life. Now I'm not saying that's what you should be doing as I am years further down the line than you but I think losing my Mum has focused my mind a bit and brought some clarity into my life.

Clearing your Dad's house will be very stressful but will be better to do it whilst he is here IYSWIM as he can help make decisions on where things have to go. I felt like I was robbing my Mum's when I was taking things which is ridiculous but I couldn't help it. Aww good luck with it all Sea and I can sympathise with the spends as I am in overdraft for the first time in months too but money is just trickling through my fingers. PM me any time if you need a chat with a stranger xx

chevalier

Sorry to hear that things are so tough for you at the moment. Just as you were getting to the end of your debt busting journey, life has thrown you several curve balls at the same time.

Just remember how much worse it would have been if you hadn't been trying to get yourself sorted all this time. So don't give up. Accept that this is a lull in debt busting. It hasn't been bought about by your overspending, it has happened because of circumstances.

In 6 months when all this is sorted, you can start to pick up the slack again.

Well done on being a supportive daughter for your dad at this time. And good on him for sorting out the house now, so all the maps etc are going to the homes HE wants them to go to.

I hope the personal stuff can be settled as cordially as possible.
chev

beanielou

Your timeb will come.
Your time will come.
Hold onto that.

lionheartedgirl

hi,

thinking of you here too. flux is hard, and inevitably it all comes at once. you will get there and it will be worth all the trauma and grief. takes a while to adjust to any changes, let alone the ones you have been through and the ones that are coming with your children etc.

if you do get a little time amongst the craziness, can you have a think as to what you might like to do next? everyone else's paths may be mapped out for them, so it will seem scary if yours isn't. sometimes it's exciting not knowing what's next, but sometimes it's very unsettling. might be good to get some thoughts together. all your hard work has enabled them to start on their new adventures so I hope you are able to feel proud of them and pleased with your hard work in amongst all the other feelings.

It sounds like a lovely time to spend with your dad - no doubt emotional and probably frustrating at times too :rotfl: - but sounds like there is lots to learn about him and his work over the years. I love stuff like that. Great that he is being so careful as to what happens to his possessions, and thinking ahead.

Thinking of you x

Seaxwyn

So it's September..... I usually update my signature at the start of each month but this time there is lots of money going in and out and I don't want to commit myself to a figure till it all settles.

I didn't earn much in August and I spent lots, so I racked up an overdraft and new credit card debts BUT my dad has given me some money towards my daughter's university costs, and for the moment that is plugging the gaps though I have to remember it's not here to stay.

Life goes on. Not much more to say. It's all overwhelmingly difficult at present but I know that times change and things will get better and it's just a case of hanging on in there.

ZTD

Seaxwyn wrote: »

Life goes on. Not much more to say. It's all overwhelmingly difficult at present

Just remember - you ain't overwhelmed yet.

Seaxwyn wrote: »

but I know that times change and things will get better and it's just a case of hanging on in there.

Exactly. It's always darkest just before the dawn.

beanielou

Keep plodding xx

taxi73

hugs..keep on plodding x

chevalier

Hi Seax
Hope things are platueauxing in the difficulty level now at least.

Had a fun week, my DS1 has whooping cough - at 11.5! And after being vaccinated as a baby. Apparently the vaccine 'wears off' for some people. So he has 14 days of antibiotics and the rest of the family 7 days worth 'just in case'

Oh joy!

Take care
chev