Daughters had an Accident on Friends Trampoline!!! Now What???

Any

Quentin wrote: »

The unfastened net could well be negligence as far as an insurance claim is concerned.

Had the trampoline been faulty there woulkd be no problem making a claim off the manufacturer's insurer - so what's the real problem here? Forget the phrase "sue the friend", and replace it with "make an insurance claim", and see if there's a policy in place!

The manufacturer has a public liability and he was paid for the trampoline to be made up to a standard... They failed to make it properly.

Where here it might have been the children who didn't fasten the net..

blue_monkey_2

OP, I was in your situation with my parents - after one particularly bad thing my dad did I pondered on it and put all of my thoughts down in a letter. It was 4 pages in the end (2 pages front and back, LOL) and put down all of the things I remember from my past and told him that when he was ready to apologise for what he had just done to me then I would be ready to listen.

To this day that apology has not arrived because that is the kind of person he is. As I told him, respect is something to be earned and 'dad' is just a name, it does not entitle him to treat me like crap. Anyway 5 years on and we have no seen him, he has not seen the children - his loss not mine.

I could go on and on about the things he does but you don't owe any bully anything - regardless of who they are!! If you want to PM me to talk some more then please feel free to.

The hardest step is making the first move and telling them what you really think and to tell them that the bullying has to stop. People like this do not think they are bullies and think they have a right to treat people like this. The second step is that you have to come to terms with the fact that you'll never be what they want you to be - because people like them are never happy with anything or anyone. BUT - as long as YOU feel happy with who you are then you have nothing whatsoever to prove to them.

I hope that makes sense, you know where I am if you need to chat or want some advice. x

Let them get on with it. Stop answering the phone while they are being like this and be out whenever they call. Just what is it that you think they can do to you in all honesty?

Quentin

racheyg wrote: »

Isn't she a childminder? How would this make her feel?

The child may be injured with a disability for life, has certainly endured pain and distress.

The child will not thank her parents in years to come if an insurance claim has not been made thanks to emotive comments on here about "suing a friend".

If the responsible parent is a childminder, then isn't the negligence worse!

loobylou2

God almighty, I can't believe what a can of worms I appear to have started just by asking for some advice. Let me make the following things clear and then I really am not going to comment or even read this thread any more because I"m certainly now wishing that I hadnt started it!!!. Blue Monkey thanks for your advice, I may well take you up on it.

1: My daughter managed to climb onto the trampoline. ( Don"t ask me how but I think she was following her big sister and her friend)
2: The person who was looking after my daughter is a trusted and valued friend, not some stranger I"d met in the street.
3: I am NOT going to sue or take any kind of action against my friend, nor am I blaming her in any way shape or form, it was an accident as far as I am concerned.
4: My parents are the people who brought up the subject of taking legal action against her and said that if I didn"t sue they would. I would never have even thought about it if they had not raised the issue.
5: I work full time for a major company, however I also live in a council house on what could be described as a sink estate as we cannot afford to buy a property of our own and my friend is a single mother on benefits. However we are trying to move out of this area to an area nearer my older childrens schools which are actually nowhere near where we live. They have a 4 mile commute to school every day and have had one for the last 5 years. My older children don"t really have much to do with the children who live on this estate and attend the local schools. My OH is retired so we survive on his basic state pension and my salary.
6: I send my daughter to nursery when I am at work and my older children are at school, I also work on a term time contract so that I can be at home during the school holidays and have tried to organise my life so that my children are well looked after whilst I can continue to work and so that we don"t become just another family living on benefits ( An option which I have to say is beginning to look increasingly attractive at the moment!!!) I don"t therefore think that I"m a negligent parent. I"m trying my to do my best for my family!!!
7: My friend has just called round to see how my daughter is getting on unlike my parents who I haven"t even spoken to since yesterday morning!!!
8: I"ve never lied on an internet forum in my life and I don"t like being accused of being either a liar or a moneygrabber because I"m neither of those things, just a stressed out working mother who wants the best for her family.
9: I can"t believe how judgmental some people on this forum actually are and think that people should stop making assumptions.

tiamai_d

I wouldn't sue.

For one, it was an accident. There was netting there, unfortunately it wasn't done up but what are the odds that a child would fall out that one bit? Your friend was doing you a favour and an accident occurred. Your child is still alive, true she is suffering some degree of discomfort and pain but the worst she is going to suffer long term is loss of use from that arm. She is young and she will adapt. Her writing hand will change if need be. If she does have some disability of the hand and arm she will be entitled to DLA later on. Right now can she move the arm, wrist and fingers? If there had been any sever damage she would be unable to do that. If she can then she will still have use of the arm, hand and fingers to what degree you won't know for some time.

Then there is the social stigma regarding suing a friend who was doing you a favour. You may be left in the situation where you need a favour again and who in their right mind is going to say 'sure, I'll look after your child for you knowing that if anything happens you will sue me'?

Whatever you decide to do, I think you have to leave it for now until you see exactly what the outcome is going to be. Plus emotions will be running very high at the moment.

Personally I see no benefit of suing at this time and your parents have to step back and keep their opinions to themselves, they are only adding to the stress of the situation, not helping.

Antispam

First of all as a parent myself I can understand the feeling you are going through

4 years ago my daughter fell on a swing at a holiday park and broke her arm it spoilt our holiday we had only just arrived at the time.I had no intention of suing as it was no ones fault, these things happen

I seem to recall a case of this a couple of years back neighbour suing for a similar thing

Bare in mind there is a case in todays paper regarding another accident that resulted in a unfortunate death. The injured party is having to pay back compensation and costs

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1199415/Parents-toddler-drowned-holiday-park-pond-ordered-repay-25-000-compensation.html

racheyg

Looby

Thanks for explaining. I think your initial post appeared that you were perhaps thinking of suing, hence the responses. I'm glad you are not going to sue , for all kinds of reasons. The fact that you were kind of thinking about it would of course make people react the way they did.

I hope your daughter gets better soon. It's a nasty accident so I wish her the best.

[Deleted User]

If she were my friend and I were you, I would have put my arms around my friend and told her not to worry because accidents happen. A fine friend you are op

blue_monkey_2

I think what we have hit on right now is that the OP is being bullied or imtimidated by her parents. She is scared of them depsite being an adult and them living 70 miles away and she does not want to do anything but she is scared of upsetting her parents. For those of you having not been in this situation you really have no idea how this feels - especially as an adult with a family. You also think it makes you sound very weak so you never tell anyone. These are the issues that need dealing with and Looby, I do hope that you can do this - it is not something that happens overnight it creeps up and up and like with my dad, it took just one thing for me to realise what he was doing and I just snapped. If I wrote on here the kinds of things I put up with as an adult you would rightly be horrified, but this is what they do to us. I think that Looby, you have finally found that one thing too and maybe you did not realise until halfway through this thread what the real issue was here.

It will not be easy to start with, we feel that we owe these people something because they have bought us up - that does not give them the right to dictate and bully us though and this needs dealing with.

Good luck Looby, I am glad you posted and yes, it was a huge can of worms, but having been through this I am glad you did, if I can help then I will be happy to do so. I have another friend in the US who mentioned something to me and it turned out she was in your position too. 2 years on she realised that she was never going to please them, even if she became president of the USA, but she was happy with who she was and she was proud of her family - she also realised that she did not need their approval for that, her life was NOT theirs and she could do with it as she pleased regalrdsless of whether or not they approved. She was 38 when she realised.

I hope that I never treat my children the way I was treated as a child and adult. I did actually tell my 'dad' that if I treated my children the way he treated us then I would have failed as a parent. I was so nervous putting the letter in the letter box but once it was done there was no turning back. I and to this day I am pleased I did so. Everything we did he had to be one better than us, we got a newer car he would get a bigger one, we did something he would have to do it better. Pathetic. My sister is the same, I've not got any time for her either. You know what they say, you can chose your friends but not your family. I'd choose your friend because it they clearly give you more support than your parents do.

racheyg

Quentin wrote: »

The child may be injured with a disability for life, has certainly endured pain and distress.

The child will not thank her parents in years to come if an insurance claim has not been made thanks to emotive comments on here about "suing a friend".

If the responsible parent is a childminder, then isn't the negligence worse![/QUOTE]

No, she wasn't at work at the time.

I can't think of any child who blames their parents for accidents and not sueing when they were so little. Perhaps they should sue their parents for negligence for not sueing. Or perhaps kids should start sueing their own parents more for negligence. What a wonderful world we live in :eek: