Daughters had an Accident on Friends Trampoline!!! Now What???

Dustykitten

I'm sorry to hear of your daughters accident and hope she makes a full recovery.

I'm not keen on trampolines and won't have one for my 3 boys, they do however go on friend's ones.

Your friend must feel terrible and it sounds like she helps you out a fair bit looking after your children. That is how lots of us modern mum's survive, the help of friends watching over our kids so we can work, shop, visit the GP or collect our spouse from the station. Please remember she was helping you out so that your child would not fall asleep in the car and be grumpy later.

It doesn't sound like your parents fill the role that your friend does in your life. The 70 miles is obviously too far to be on hand to look after a child for a short time but I doubt they will be on hand to help with your other children whilst you visit the fracture clinic.

Look into your heart as to what you think is the right thing to do. You don't need to cut them out of your children's lives but you do need to take the moral high ground and stand up to them.

Good luck and out of interest what does your OH think you should be doing as I think it was him who choose to leave your child with your friend.

MrsE_2

loobylou2 wrote: »

Hi Everybody

Sorry for the length of this post but I could really use some advice. I have 3 children aged 11, 9 and 3 and on Friday evening my youngest daughter (3) managed to fall out of the net opening on a trampoline belonging to one of my friends which had been left unfastened. It was an accident but it has left some nasty consequences. My daughter ended up breaking both her forearm and her elbow on her right arm ( she"s right handed as well) she has had to have an operation and wires put into her arm and was in hospital until yesterday lunchtime, she has to go back to the fracture clinic on wednesday and will need another operation in about 4 weeks time to remove the wires. The surgeons are saying that her arm is in a real mess and that there could be some long term damage. As if all this wasn"t bad enough I"m now being pressured by some of my relatives to sue my friend via her household contents insurance policy for personal liability because my daughter had the accident on her trampoline!!! My friend was actually doing a favour for my OH when he left my daughter with her, because I work he'd come to the train station to collect me and left my daughter with my friend because she was tired and he was worried that she"d fall asleep in the car and then be in a bad mood when she woke up!!!! We"ve done this lots of times previously without problem and I now feel absolutely dreadful about the entire thing, its bad enough that my daughter has been so badly hurt but the thought of having to sue my friend makes me feel sick although I realise I"ve got to put my daughters interests first and that my friend could be said to have been negligent because she didn"t make sure the trampoline opening was fastened and wasn"t supervising the children. She was previously a registered childminder as well which makes matters worse!!! Has anyone else ever been in this sort of situation and how did you cope??? I feel absolutely torn and am being pressured by my parents to sue my friend.

Wow.

Beware looking after a friends child as a favour:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

I will think hard first next time I'm asked for a favour:eek::eek::eek:

Any

loobylou2 wrote: »

Oh please, I think you should wake up yourself!!! Of course I"d take my eyes off them periodically and do things like go to the toilet but, I do keep a much closer eye on my daughter when she is playing with her older brother and sister because I know how rough they can be when they are all together. Do you have children???

Exactly... So stop saying you would have done the job better.
Obviously you weren't there so you didn't do it any better.

loobylou2

Any wrote: »

Sorry, you need to re-read your posts.
You are worried about your parents and talk lot of rubbish about them having/needing good relationship with your daughter when they live 70 miles away and are not even coming up to see your daughter in the hospital. You say they wouldn't even call you this week if you didn't call them about it.

On the other side there is a friend, very close friend who does you favour when you need it and your daughter is comfortable with her. And it doesn't seem you are so worried about her..

No I'm sorry too, I think that YOU need to re read my posts from the beginning before you start accusing me of things which are incorrect. Just because my parents live 70 miles away they are still my daughters grandparents and I want her to have a good relationship with them. They are the only grandparents she has. As far as my friend is concerned, then yes I am worried about her which is why I don"t want to take legal action against her and fwiw I"ve more than returned the favour on many occasions by having her daughter to sleep over every saturday night for over a year whilst she went out with her boyfriend and lending her not inconsiderable amounts of money in the past which she hasn"t repaid. Its not just a one sided friendship with her doing all the giving and me doing all the taking you know!!! It works both ways and we"ve both always helped each other out in various ways whenever we"ve been able to. So please stop criticising me.

poet123

You are adamant that you do not want to sue, so what is the problem? You have the opinions of quite a few people now, and the concensus is clear, do not sue.

Your parents are a seperate issue. They cannot sue, so no problems there.

So all you need do is decide that you were correct in not wanting to sue, tell your parents that you have considered it and decided against it. Do not mention them sueing, if they bring it up say that you have taken advice and they are not eligible to do so. Simple.

Any

loobylou2 wrote: »

No I'm sorry too, I think that YOU need to re read my posts from the beginning before you start accusing me of things which are incorrect. Just because my parents live 70 miles away they are still my daughters grandparents and I want her to have a good relationship with them. They are the only grandparents she has. As far as my friend is concerned, then yes I am worried about her which is why I don"t want to take legal action against her and fwiw I"ve more than returned the favour on many occasions by having her daughter to sleep over every saturday night for over a year whilst she went out with her boyfriend and lending her not inconsiderable amounts of money in the past which she hasn"t repaid. Its not just a one sided friendship with her doing all the giving and me doing all the taking you know!!! It works both ways and we"ve both always helped each other out in various ways whenever we"ve been able to. So please stop criticising me.

I see I have really wind you up. Sorry, that wasn't the meaning of my posts.
You came on forum and asked people how do they see the situation and to advise you. Now you are wound up that we did.

I do feel very sorry for your daughter and you. But imagining I was in the situation of your friend I would probably put a bullet through my brain if you did take me to court.

Every friendship goes both ways, I am not trying to make out that it is going only one way. So try to imagine if she sued you?

jenhug

You dont want to sue, so don't. I agree with you. Tell your parents that you spoke to the legal team for your home insurance and they don't think you have a claim as you left your child there. That may satisfy them and they may drop the matter.
I hope your little one makes a full recovery.

ceebeeby

Many years ago, in the days before the 'sueing' culture took over, my younger brother was being over-night babysat by a very close family friend. During the night he got up to go to the toilet and accidentally fell down the stairs landing on his head.

Roll forward several months once he was out of ICU, brain surgery, skull reconstruction etc.

The friend came over to say SHE'd been in touch with her insurance company, and because she hadn't had a stair gate fitted she felt she'd been negligent (her words!!) they were now expecting a claim.

The way that this was dealt with was an agreement was made with her insurance company, that if my younger brother suffered any long term mental damage as a result of the accident and required care / assistance etc. they would accept the claim any time up until he was 21 (to give him time if he wanted too).

All done very very amicably, and 20+ years on we all still remain great friends - no claim was ever made, because after about 2 years he was back to normal. We couldn't have done without the friends support in those 2 years - she was and still is fabulous.

There's so much more to life than the money! Tell your parents to go and find something else to worry about and leave you to care for your DD - whom by the way, I hope makes a very speedy recovery!

Threebabes

poet123 wrote: »

I can honestly say that sueing my friend would not have entered my head.

Kids have accidents, fact of life, get over accidents. Money will not make a jot of difference to the situation. If there were complications what could money achieve that NHS treatment could not?

I think you should be telling your parents that you have no intention of sueing and that they cannot sue without your consent.


Time to step up to the plate, and say "no way" to your parents. Or is it that you are using them as a smokescreen? I suspect that is nearer the truth.

Agree with this. Well said.

*Chattie*

loobylou2 wrote: »

I"m not using my parents as an excuse, I"m not interested in the money and I"m certainly not being greedy!!! As I have said repeatedly I don"t want to sue my friend so stop accusing me of something which is not true and I have no reason whatsoever to lie about the situation!!!. I'm certainly not seeing poundsigns out of all this although I think my parents probably are which is why they are pressurising me to sue and threatening to do it themselves. I"m sorry to hear about your son but have to wonder about what you are saying about your own parents failing to realise that he was badly hurt. My daughter was in absolute agony on friday evening and there was no way that anybody could have failed to see that she"d badly hurt herself her arm was so swollen. I posted my thread to get opinions about what other people thought and because I am worried to death about my daughter and her long term future not so that I could be accused of being a greedy moneygrabber. Thank you very much.

So worried about your daughter that you have spent the entire morning posting on this thread :rolleyes: