Daughters had an Accident on Friends Trampoline!!! Now What???

Errata

People do and say the daftest things when they're upset, as your parents probably were when you told them. They may have calmed down a bit now.

secretspender_2

How sad.

I would tell your parents to back off. I am sure they won't fall out with you over it. She is your daughter.

bestpud

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Most people agree with this until they are seriously affected. Personally we don't have a trampoline for safety reasons; whilst I don't think a ban is necessary, nets should be a legal requirement IMO.

My best friend has a friend whose two teenage kids had an accident on their trampoline, which stopped me in my trampoline buying research! They collided in the air and fell to the ground (no net). They are now both in wheelchairs. One in a million chance, but it tragically does happen.

Ouch!!

I don't allow more than one jumper on there at a time! Recipe for disaster that - especially for teens!

I've only just got a safety net for dd and we've had it about 4/5 years now, I think. It was worrying me now she is older and perhaps does more adventerous things on there and I do feel happier now.

Mostly though, she is pretty sensible.

I've heard some horror stories but then I've heard horror stories about kids doing all sorts of activities, and don't believe in wrapping them in cotton wool, so it's all about reaching a balance I think.

I mean, for example, I wouldn't stop my other children riding a bike if one of them had a serious accident on one...

bestpud

Errata wrote: »

People do and say the daftest things when they're upset, as your parents probably were when you told them. They may have calmed down a bit now.

Have you spoken with them since loobylou?

loobylou2

bestpud wrote: »

So you want to ring the helpline and ask them how to inform your parents they need to butt out??

If that is the only problem here then you'll probably get more useful advice by posting another thread on here!

And, if they are such caring grandparents, why would they fall out with you over this, because a family rift isn't going to help with your dd's recovery?

They"re financially motivated grandparents more than caring ones I would say, BestPud. I"d cheerfully tell them to Butt Out but if I fall out with them where does that leave my children. I might not like my parents much but they are still my childrens grandparents and the only ones they have as well. I think that as a mum I owe it to my children to make sure that they have a relationship with them. They"ll be able make their own decisions about grandma and grandad when they are older. My mother didn"t have anything to do with her family and I"ve often wondered where they are and what they are like because I wouldn"t know any of them if I passed them in the street and I don"t want my children to grow up in the same sort of situation.

lcazma70

I guess its not unusual for people to look for someone to blame in these circs so dont distress your self too much trying to find a solution to all of this,,,, this is a judgement calland yours is the only one that matters. I know what a shock such an injury to a child is for you to deal with, your lovely baby so hurt and damaged it is wretched . so please dont take any of my comments as a personal attack .I cant speak for anyone else but i'm sure I am not alone in understaning the dilemma. However you have hit a chord for many people and any parent will sympathise but you must be strong..... take care of yourself too in all of this,best wishes

bestpud

loobylou2 wrote: »

They"re financially motivated grandparents more than caring ones I would say, BestPud. I"d cheerfully tell them to Butt Out but if I fall out with them where does that leave my children. I might not like my parents much but they are still my childrens grandparents and the only ones they have as well. I think that as a mum I owe it to my children to make sure that they have a relationship with them. They"ll be able make their own decisions about grandma and grandad when they are older. My mother didn"t have anything to do with her family and I"ve often wondered where they are and what they are like because I wouldn"t know any of them if I passed them in the street and I don"t want my children to grow up in the same sort of situation.

Friends are just as important though sometimes looby, and if your dd sees this woman as like a second mother...

loobylou2

bestpud wrote: »

Have you spoken with them since loobylou?

I spoke to them yesterday morning and just said I"d get some advice in order to try and pacify them. Haven"t spoken to them since though and tbh I"m not expecting to either because my sister and her family are down from Scotland and staying with them this week.

bestpud

loobylou2 wrote: »

I spoke to them yesterday morning and just said I"d get some advice in order to try and pacify them. Haven"t spoken to them since though and tbh I"m not expecting to either because my sister and her family are down from Scotland and staying with them this week.

So they won't be visiting your daughter?

Will your friend be in touch by any chance?

Almo

loobylou2 wrote: »

If the friend is negligent for the accident, to my mind you (OP) are negligent for leaving your daughter with someone apparently unsuitable to care for a child.

Whilst I understand what you are saying here, for what its worth I leave my daughter at a nursery whilst I am working, her father looks after her for the hour or so in the evening while I am coming home from work and he left her with our friend who trained and qualified to be a childminder even though her childminding business never really got off the ground. This is the first occasion that I"ve ever had cause to be concerned about my friends ability to care for children and she"s looked after them on lots of occasions previously while I've also looked after her children so I don"t think that until now I"ve been negligent in my choice of carer. All 3 of my children love her and she"s almost like a second mother to them which is another reason why I"m so reluctant to go down the claiming/ taking legal action route. Think the best thing for me to do would be to perhaps get some independent legal advice, my employers offer an assistance scheme so I think I"ll give them a ring and see what they suggest I do.

I think you misunderstand me . I DON'T think you've been negligent in your choice of carer. I don't think she was negligent either. That's my personal opinion. The point I was trying to make is where does the negligence stop? If your friend is negligent because your child had an accident when you chose to leave her in that friend's care, doesn't that make you negligent for endangering your child? If she's looked after your kids on lots of occasions previously, I assume you knew about the trampoline.

Perhaps it would help you to talk to your parents if you clarify to yourself exactly what it is YOU want from this situation.