Worried about hubby

tesuhoha

I'm worried about my husband because he never stops working. He leaves the house about 6 in the morning, has a 2 hour journey to work and doesnt come home till around 6-7 in the evening. He only takes time off at Christmas because hes a plumber and he doesnt get paid if he doesnt work. A regular plumbing job wouldnt pay enough. We are deep in debt (£17,000) and there doesnt seem any way out because if he doesnt do a full week then theres not enough money to cover all the payments. He also works almost every weekend and hes done this for years and years since the kids werre small. I work too and do overtime but my money doesnt make much of a difference. If I book a holiday my husband always quotes the price of the holiday plus the cost of his lost earnings and it is always so much that i dont book holidays any more. Hes very thin and suffers from acid indigestion. Im just worried about his health but agree with him that we need the money because we are moving soon to get out of a bad area.

comping_cat

I would check out the debt-free wannabe board, for some advice on your debts, if your husband is working all these hours, and you are not making much headway into your debts, then i think you need to look at what is coming in and going out. If you are moving soon, it will be a fresh start, and sorting out your money will be a big help in your new home. Good luck, i hope your husbands health improves soon.

tanith

Sure sounds like you both need to do something or your husband is not going to be around to enjoy a retirement with you............ harsh but true....
He needs some sort of break from the relentless self inflicted treadmill he seems to be on.. come to that so do you .......

bylromarha

Being married to self employed person is hard. At times of the year, my OH does same hours as yours in the day, but has more to do at home so works until 2am, to get up at 6am to start over. Also empathise about the holiday...I understand the "we're paying double to go" phrase too.

I agree with Catowen that the debt free wannabe is a good place to have a look for some tips and ideas on how to reduce the debt...and also try not to get too stressed with OH as I guess he really thinks he's doing the best for you all, but only looking at the financial side of life and missing the rest. Also, are there no self employed jobs he can take that don't mean a 4 hour round trip each day? I was under the impression plumbers are in really short supply, so maybe he could look for something closer to home with the same wage?

dean_ham

I agree with the first post.

Pop into debt free wannabe forum. Explain your income/outgoing situation. You might get some good advice and save a few £££ each month.

tesuhoha

Thanks folks. Its nice to get some input. our life is so complicated with our finances that we are trapped in it really. We dont want to give up the house or anything like that. We do have a nice home life when he is here. i'll have to try to work out our situation to put down on paper but i have scoured through the site and made loads of savings. everything is on 0%. I'm currently working on the grocery bill. Think the answer is to do up our next house, make a profit and then reduce our mortgage with the house after that but it means more work for Dh, a lot more work as the house is a shell.

tesuhoha

Also he doesnt work in the same place but on building sites around London. He does subcontracting so he couldnt really work nearer home as there isnt enough work in one place. Its a bit of a myth that there is a shortage of plumbers.

comping_cat

Would also be worth popping over to the old style board, its really friendly, and has lots of great ideas on saving money, new recipes etc, maybe planning a nice meal once hubby is home will help you both relax and unwind.

beverleyhills

As previously mentioned being married to a self employed person is very difficult. They do seem to be like workacholics as they are concerned about the loss of income if they take a holiday or are ill.

Does he keeps his accounts up together?

Have you posted a SOA? There are people who are good at spotting savings that you have missed, even when you think that you have been through your finances with a fine tooth comb

lynzpower

Hi darling

My parents were self employed for a while, working every hour god sent. Without telling you what we already know, it isnt great for family relationships when cash is tight.

I know you are a DFW, but surely, if you could find any more sacrifices in your budget, could you do a trade off with OH? Ie I've found £25 we can save by cutting back, could you reduce your hours by this much.

Difficult one, I do know someone who had a stomach ulcer ( sure you dont wanna hear this) from stressful long hours, and he ended up on the sick for 6 months. PUt this to your OH. And MAKE him see a doctor just to be on the safe side xx

Glad

Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere(please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [email="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]!!!!!![/email].