gutted - he might get away with it

Dancing_Shoes

PlayingHardball wrote: »

Good for you Libby. Unfortunately you ex did win his financial battle with you, but at his own expense in the long run. You know what I mean.

Please make sure that your children fully understand the extent of your decision and the sacrifice that you made all those years ago, and will continue to make.

Fortunately for me, my ex has done so much other emotional damage I won't find myself with the problems you had with your DS and the mind games your ex pulled, so I'll press on with fighting for what is a legal responsibility to the bitter end (stuff that in your pipe and smoke it woody) Bitter person? No, but a lawful and good person who wants to see people treat their children like I have treated mine.

I don't think it means you are bitter because you want to fight for your child maintenance I think it is something every pwc should do who isn't getting money from the nrp's!:T

PlayingHardball

Dancing_Shoes wrote: »

I don't think it means you are bitter because you want to fight for your child maintenance I think it is something every pwc should do who isn't getting money from the nrp's!:T

I agree, and thank you!

libbyc3

aaaarrrghhhh - why did i bother!!!!!!!!!
after writing off £21500 of arrears to get my ex out of my life he has now told my daughter the only way she will get a birthday present is to go and see him and 'your mother will need to buy the train ticket coz thats what CSA money is for'!!!!!!!!!
tried to be grown up and fair and not bitter and out for revenge but right now i really hate him!!!!!!

CMAC_2

libbyc3 wrote: »

aaaarrrghhhh - why did i bother!!!!!!!!!
after writing off £21500 of arrears to get my ex out of my life he has now told my daughter the only way she will get a birthday present is to go and see him and 'your mother will need to buy the train ticket coz thats what CSA money is for'!!!!!!!!!
tried to be grown up and fair and not bitter and out for revenge but right now i really hate him!!!!!!

Is he aware that CSA arrears can be reinstated at any time. No legislation exists to write the off.

CRANKY40

libbyc3 wrote: »

aaaarrrghhhh - why did i bother!!!!!!!!!
after writing off £21500 of arrears to get my ex out of my life he has now told my daughter the only way she will get a birthday present is to go and see him and 'your mother will need to buy the train ticket coz thats what CSA money is for'!!!!!!!!!
tried to be grown up and fair and not bitter and out for revenge but right now i really hate him!!!!!!

It's late and I'm tired, but that's probably no excuse for what I'm about to write......

Give your daughter the train ticket money as a present and tell him to go and do one. My mum was the NRP and never paid my dad a penny.

CRANKY40

Dancing_Shoes wrote: »

I don't think it means you are bitter because you want to fight for your child maintenance I think it is something every pwc should do who isn't getting money from the nrp's!:T

As long as their reasons are genuine and not motivated purely by revenge.

saver_sam

libbyc3 wrote: »

aaaarrrghhhh - why did i bother!!!!!!!!!
after writing off £21500 of arrears to get my ex out of my life he has now told my daughter the only way she will get a birthday present is to go and see him and 'your mother will need to buy the train ticket coz thats what CSA money is for'!!!!!!!!!
tried to be grown up and fair and not bitter and out for revenge but right now i really hate him!!!!!!

one day the time may come when the children figure out that he's missed out on many years of their life by being abroad, to get a present they have to go see him (its her birthday he should maybe make the effort to come see her imo) and he's very selfish.

Right now I'd hate him too if I was in your shoes!

LizzieS_2

CMAC wrote: »

Is he aware that CSA arrears can be reinstated at any time. No legislation exists to write the off.

I would be tempted to re-instate the arrears - at least then you can hand it back as he pays when he is being a decent parent. The carrot and stick method is the only way your child will think better of him, and it gives him the chance to grow up without child being any wiser.

Blonde_Bint

libbyc3 wrote: »

aaaarrrghhhh - why did i bother!!!!!!!!!
after writing off £21500 of arrears to get my ex out of my life he has now told my daughter the only way she will get a birthday present is to go and see him and 'your mother will need to buy the train ticket coz thats what CSA money is for'!!!!!!!!!
tried to be grown up and fair and not bitter and out for revenge but right now i really hate him!!!!!!

re-instate the arrears, thats not advice its an order.

I'm not being funny, I've never met him and i'm sick of him:mad:. NEVER forget arrears is only money that should have been paid each month, his HALF of the contribution towards the cost of HIS childrens well being :mad::mad: SCREAAAAAAAAAAAM. These arrears only exist because of his own actions. HIS OWN ACTIONS CREATED THESE ARREARS. If you take that lump sum and divide it up into the years he should have paid then divide it again over 12 months (for each year) it doesnt look quite so hefty then does it, between 2 kids as well. these blokes make me laugh. RE INSTATE THE ARREARS. (btw can anyone do the maths on that cos I would be interested:D)

re-instate those arrears cos your going to need that money to pay for the train tickets:D

I wouldnt try to tell anyone what to do thats not my style but just one last thing before I go "this guy is taking the p*ss RE-INSTATE THE ARREARS"

Zazen999

I think what BB is trying to say, reading between the lines; and it's a complete guess by me but

REINSTATE THE ARREARS.

I think I've got that right.

[And she's right - he's taking the p1ss so do it].