gutted - he might get away with it

worriedsik

libbyc3 wrote: »

blimey I've been away for couple days and whole debate started!
Update - have recieved 4 payments from CSA - £250 per month towards arrears and £220 current.
Yes, I had told my kids I would be splitting the money into 3rds and putting theirs away as the savings I have never been able to afford for them for when they leave home. This didn't go down well with DS (another thread was started about my arguements with him).
The sperm donor created merry hell (which I actually had a certain amount of sympathy for as 40% of your wages is hell of a hit)
The grief we have been getting off him - via DS (he pretends he doesn't have a DD) has not been worth the effort so I phoned the CSA and had the arrears written off for when he was out the country. He now owes about 3 grand and will have to pay current support.
As I have always been the better person (?!) I felt this gesture should put an end to the abuse that has restarted after 10 1/2 years. He doesn't know yet as I only made the call on 27th Aug.
The kids have been kept informed of my decisions and why I've made them.
And yes I am keeping every penny of the remaining arrears and spending it on shoes and handbags.

yes 40% would be a hell off a hit but they are his kids and thats the cost financialy to bring them up its a responsibility we all have to do

I can see where you were coming from as i myself let my daughters father off the hook 9 yrs ago and it was a decision i now regret Deeply as i have incurred debts in doing so

woody01

yes 40% would be a hell off a hit but they are his kids and thats the cost financialy to bring them up its a responsibility we all have to do

and another load of non-factual drivel.
40% of a wage to bring up a child is manure and if you gave it one second of thought you would realise this.

and the reason being you posted that!
HERE:

I can see where you were coming from as i myself let my daughters father off the hook 9 yrs ago and it was a decision i now regret

Another hell bent on revenge. If you can't get it, you encourage others to.

worriedsik

Bra burning ???? lol what are you on ?

OP ...you will reep the rewards later believe me , my daughter is 18 now and she knows who was there for her financialy and emotionally

worriedsik

woody01 wrote: »

and another load of non-factual drivel.
40% of a wage to bring up a child is manure and if you gave it one second of thought you would realise this.

and the reason being you posted that!
HERE:
Another hell bent on revenge. If you can't get it, you encourage others to.

yes regret because ( oh deer you forgot to add when you were quoteing me !! ) that iam now in a lot off debt how convienant for you.....but he isnt in debt..he managed a holiday abroad every year i havent been a holiday in 10yrs

iam not wanting revenge i dont need to do anything he has done it all by himself and i pity him infact i feel sorry for him so sorry i still try to push my daughter and his relationship because he is sad and lonly.

A child is not a pawn in a game and thats why at the time i didnt push for money or go through the CSA my daughters feelings were upmost to me but were obv not to him

i was on here to help and advise the OP i dont think thats your intention though !!

woody01

A child is not a pawn in a game and thats why at the time i didnt push for money or go through the CSA my daughters feelings were upmost to me but were obv not to him

Which i good to hear.
Unfortunately though, yourself and the OP are the exception to the norm.

i was on here to help and advise the OP i dont think thats your intention though !!

It is.
By giving a totally different perspective to it though.

kelloggs36

Revenge is not sought by most PWCs but justice is - when an NRP pays nothing they should not be allowed to get away with it, but be forced to pay their fair share. Whether we agree or not that the CSA calculations are fair are irrelevant - that is what in law has to be paid.

worriedsik

woody01 wrote: »

Which i good to hear.
Unfortunately though, yourself and the OP are the exception to the norm.


It is.
By giving a totally different perspective to it though.

Unfortunatly !!! and at my expense !! thats not good is it !
I was trying to tell the OP not to make the same mistake as i did and to get what she so so rightly deserves which is the support from the absent parent who's ( by the way ) was his responsability too infact didnt he leave the country INTENTIONALLY not to pay iam sure i read that in the OP but i will go back and read again

worriedsik

kelloggs36 wrote: »

Revenge is not sought by most PWCs but justice is - when an NRP pays nothing they should not be allowed to get away with it, but be forced to pay their fair share. Whether we agree or not that the CSA calculations are fair are irrelevant - that is what in law has to be paid.

Thanks......you are correct its the law and its the morraly correct thing to do for the benefit off your children and anybody who does not want to do it is depriving there children and stretching the pwcs to financial hardship therefor the knock on effect will be that THERE children suffer
of course most PWCs will try to make sure there children do not suffer

Zara33

woody01 wrote: »

Let the 'bra buring' commence. :rolleyes:

Can I light the bonfire! :D Ladies bra's at the ready :rotfl:
There is nothing wrong with personal experience either woody

PlayingHardball

Good for you Libby. Unfortunately you ex did win his financial battle with you, but at his own expense in the long run. You know what I mean.

Please make sure that your children fully understand the extent of your decision and the sacrifice that you made all those years ago, and will continue to make.

Fortunately for me, my ex has done so much other emotional damage I won't find myself with the problems you had with your DS and the mind games your ex pulled, so I'll press on with fighting for what is a legal responsibility to the bitter end (stuff that in your pipe and smoke it woody) Bitter person? No, but a lawful and good person who wants to see people treat their children like I have treated mine.