I want to split with my husband - scared of all the implications

smeged

Everyone has bad patches in a relationship, you have to work at it all the time, me and my OH has silent days (not too often tho) then I blow and we get everything out in the open and all is fine again. It isn't always easy living with someone else no-one is perfect. The question is can you live without him or anyone else, are you prepared to be single for the rest of you life.

My parents got divorced when i was 9, although I didn't like my father that much, it certainly affected us financially, my mother really struggled to get us kids what we wanted, even working two jobs, all day and a bar job till 2 in the morning, she had a breakdown in the end and the stress was passed onto us kids, I was always worried about her, when she died she said it was awful being alone.

I think you have decided for yourself but have you thought of all the implications. Don't want you to make any mistakes.

loftus

kent_lady wrote: »

Thank you so much xmas - that's my biggest fear - is it the right thing? For you to say that it sounds like I have already made up my mind is really helpful so thank you for that....because you don't know either of us you are giving an objective opinion which is exactly what I need to hear. It sounds as if you had all the same doubts as me but you are happy now which is great to hear. Thanks for your support and good luck to you too ;-) xx

But it's not an objective opinion is it, because we have only heard your side of things. If your husband posted on here and we heard his side of the story then we could form an objective opinion.
You both have issues, one with the other. But you seem to have already decided and though it takes two to make a marriage, it only takes one to break it.

pinkshoes

kent_lady wrote: »

Pinkshoes and Woody01, if all you have is nastiness and poison then f*ck off my thread - I was asking people for help, not to be judged. It's not Pot, kettle, black, what I didn't put in my original post is that this is not the first time I have had opportunity to mistrust him. He drinks to excess, he is moody and miserable and opiniated and perhaps the fact that another man has kissed me means that I am not happy where I am and I am acknowledging that fact and doing something about it, not embarking on an affair! So are you telling me that you have never made a mistake? I don't think so somehow.

OMG!! How rude!!

My post wasn't in the slightest bit nasty! I was just asking some basic questions to enquire what level of communication you had with your OH!!! I was actually on your side (having been there before), but from your rude reaction, I'm now wondering what you have to hide???

You commented that you were upset about him emailing and chatting with another women, yet you then went on to say that you'd kissed another bloke!!! I really can't see why it's nasty asking if he was aware of your "mis-demeanour" given you knew about his!

Two wrongs don't make a right.

My point was, that instead of discussing this on a public forum, you should be discussing this HONESTLY and OPENLY with your OH!!

Yet another poster who only thanks those who say what they want to hear.

ChrisCobra

I do wonder sometimes if these posts are wind ups , its like these poeple come on here for forgiveness for what they have done

Mips

If I were you I wouldn't be waiting for this thread to end before I made steps to get out of it.

Leave him. You don't want a drink angry man around your children. They don't need it, he isn't their father - you can be slightly more tolerant if it is the father, however, step-parents have no right to act badly in front of other peoples childrens.

My opinion of course.

I know how hard it is to decide to actually go and be alone. I got my own place and although not in it yet, I often get a little thought which makes me smile.. as I am sure things are going to be so much better for us all now with us splitting up.

hippychick1

I have just read your first post, and needed to reply. This sounds like my husband. I left three months ago and haven't looked back. I am much happier now. Not sure how to post a link really, but I do have my own thread on here detailing the ups and downs, if you can find it.
Take care
x

hollydays

Just to go off on a slightly different tack.

Whether you go or stay..You say you are "slightly" OCD, (I notice in another thread you say your husband says he "likes a drink",both of those statements may be not the whole truth,but how you both view it.

you say you are on anti-depressants for obsessive anxiety.Have they helped? Have you been offered cbt therapy.How does the obsessive anxiety affect you? Are you being realistic about the degree you have?

People who are obsessive/anxious can be extremely difficult to live with. They don't see their anxiety can be irrational,they will often view the other person as being under-anxious,and the cause of the problem,rather than the issues they have. It can make them angry when people don't do things the way they want,they can not help these feelings,but sometimes they need professional help.This is not an attack on you.

I have a friend whos partner would never let him cook,because he made too much mess,would follow him around , constantlyspray his computer keyboard with disinfectant,tell him he was dirty-in her eyes -he was.I expect she thought he did it to wind her up.She probably thought she was "slightly" ocd too.