I want to split with my husband - scared of all the implications

kent_lady

i'm ending this....

pinkshoes

A few questions:

Does your OH know you kissed another man? It's a little hypocritical to say you don't like him email women when you've actually been kissing another man!!

Have you actually told your OH that you're wanting to leave him?

This "friend" that has feelings for you is no friend. A friend would never do such a thing! He is scum, so don't speak to him again, cut all ties with him, and sort your marriage out first.

debs2327

hi ya hun hugs for you for putting up with him xxxx
i know this response sounds daft but just read lol if a fairy godmother said yes you leave him ,you have a place to stay, and start a new life, you`ll have no complications at all, a clean break, then would you go instantly and not think twice ?
if yes then youve probally made up your mind already that you want to leave but want to do it so its easy !
thing is dont leave if its just for the other person as that might not turn out to be what you want , i mean you need to think about the reasons you dont want to be married to him any more ! and not let someone else that has showed you feelings make the decision for you and force you to look at your husbands bad points , sorry just saying you need to make sure that your husbands lack of caring and appreciation is the reason you want to leave !

but if you do leave then things will be complicated as at some point the always do but if your determined to get yourself a better life with someone who appreciates you then you`ll get through it and any complications will be seen as another break away from your husband xx hope it all works out for you hun im willing to chat if you need to xx

Pee

You do sound very confused.

If you split with your husband and didn't find someone else who had feelings for you, how would that make you feel? If the answer is that would be ok, I have enough else going on i my life and it would be better than the way things are now, then you should leave. If the answer is that you would be very sad and lonely, then consider again what you are throwing away.

It doesn't sound much of a relationship to me - you mind him drinking everyday, there are various reasons why you may not be very easy to live with, he doesn't talk to you for days at a time. It sounds to me like you would be better off without him.

On the other hand, you know why you fell in love with him - you should think about whether relate, a regular date night, something as a family such as a camping trip could reignite those old feelings that you had for him.

It's a longterm relationship. the chances are you are going to look around you and be tempted. Either the relationship is worth saving or it isn't. Only you can decide that.

If it isn't, then speak to a solicitor, look at the womens Aid assistance on here and "entitled to" website to check out benefits and work out how you would manage. If you don't want him, let him go, but make sure that you don't want him before you do that.

merlin68

Do you actually know the other man, or is he someone you have met online yourself.

woody01

hi ya hun hugs for you for putting up with him xxxx

Did you read the OP???????

Its her not him thats the problem

Pssst

Women are like monkeys.

They never let one branch go until theyve got hold of another one.

Jomo

Hi, thought I'd just say I think those nasty comments were out of order as well. Regardless of what each of you has done, if the relationship isn't working and you are unhappy then you need to do what you need to do to fix it...whether that be both of you together or apart.

I wish you well in whatever you choose.

kent_lady

Thank you Jomo, nice to know that SOME people have a little compassion. I never said that it was all his fault, I know I am hard to live with, what I was posting is that I am unhappy, want to do something about it and needed advice.

Thank you again for your post xx

xmaslolly76

Kent its a good thing that you have acknowledge that for you to want another man means there are serious problems within your relationship and from the sounds of it you have made your mind up to leave already. As you say you made a mistake and you arent taking the other relationship any further. I think anyone who has put up with what you have would have been at least tempted by the other man.

You have obviously been on your own before and with your children being much older now it will a lot easier to adjust to life on your own. I left my husband after 14yrs i was frightened to death and suffered with mild depression for a few months after leaving wondering weather i had done the right thing but 3 almost 4 yrs on i am happier than ever and so glad that i made the move when i did.

Good luck with what ever you decide to do :-) xx

kent_lady

Thank you so much xmas - that's my biggest fear - is it the right thing? For you to say that it sounds like I have already made up my mind is really helpful so thank you for that....because you don't know either of us you are giving an objective opinion which is exactly what I need to hear. It sounds as if you had all the same doubts as me but you are happy now which is great to hear. Thanks for your support and good luck to you too ;-) xx