Think I am pushing my husband away and dont know why.........

MadMac_2

Linz, how you doing now? Hope you managed to talk to your OH and have made progress, x

zippychick

Hi Linz, long time no speak. just wanted to say I had read your thread and wanted to send you some hugs.

You may be stuck in the angry stage, but with time you will move back and forwards through the different grieving stages. Have you gone back to work then? How has it went? I hope you are on phased hours so it isn't such a big shock to your system. Have you spoke to hubby yet? he may be a little hurt initially, but once you have talked things out im sure you will both feel much better (and closer)

Swimming and yoga are both very good recommendations and i would highly recommend both. it is a nasty vicious cyle as I am sure you don't feel like doing exercise when you feel so ill, but if you can start a little at a time and build up. Perhaps ask your doctor if they can refer you to physio? They can help you with exercises and general mobility. Even if you dont feel that would be useful now, it will take time on the NHS anyway, so won't do any harm to see what the doctor can offer or suggest. You can also be referred for warm water therapy as i mentioned to you before.

Anyway, in work so very quick reply. Pm me any time. xxx

LoopyLinz

Hi All

Well I bit the bullet and spoke to DH. He was angry and upset that I hadnt told him from the beginning but I think we are slowly sorting things out. We have agreed that one day at a time is what we need at the moment and are making little goals to aim towards. Thinking of nothing past those.

I am going back to work on Tuesday and while I am totally dreading it I know I need to do it. I need to get some sense of worth and a sense of purpose again. So this is the only thing I am aiming towards at the moment, I am working on a phased return so need to remind myself that its not admitting defeat if I cant do the hours I have intended, just that simply I need to take things a little easier than before.

I did however make one pretty big decision, I no longer want to be the girl who is at her desk from 8am and still sat there at 8pm, nor do I was to spend 2-3 hours per day sitting in traffic soooooooo I am going to look for a new job. Something part time and closer to home. I do need to return to my current position first however.

I really do feel a lot better and I think a big part of that is because I have spoken to my DH.

I cant thank you all enough for everything you have all said, you really have helped more than you will probably realise.

Linz xox

MadMac_2

Linz, so good to hear from you again and a big hug for finally being honest with your OH - at least now he can understand more and you'll be in this together rather than fighting the daemons on your own. Well done hun and best of luck for next Tuesday, x

belfastgirl23

Good for you

londoner1998

Loopylinz
great to hear from you- well done, it seem you are taking the steps you need to take and making some very sensible decisions re: job and commuting time. Shorter commutes and working day will improve your quality of life no end and free up some time to do things you really enjoy.

I realy understand the anger and frustration at not being able to do as much as you did before (or anything at all! I have been there myself, crying on the floor because I just couldn't get up and do what I had to do), but please, don't beat yourself up for it. You need what you need.
Like Zippychick said, it is very important you keep some kind of exercise routine (and I don't mean punding the treadmill or running marathons). On bad days of my chronic fatigue, I found that just lying down on the floor with my eyes closed or 15 minutes of restorative yoga took the edge of it and I could feel a massive difference the following morning. It is all about conserving the energy your body needs to start the healing process. I would strongly recommend finding an Iyengar yoga teacher who does remedial work and can teach you a few restorative poses. You can start very slowly and build up on it. It will improve your mood and outlook and allow you the time to rest and take care of yourself. I can't stress enough how it helped when when everything else failed (including medication).
And well done for talking to your OH_ this is something that clearly affects both of you- keep going, you are doing fantastically!
Lots of hugs...

londoner1998

I forgot to say, I know some GP's have done yoga referrals...worth investigating