HOw do I manage all the presents my 6 year old will be getting for birthday

Mely

SammyD wrote: »

Now this is getting ridiculous and offensive. Although the OP's question seemed odd, she has explained she is from a different culture. Why should she not ask? It is hard when you are not familiar with the culture. I am from New Zealand, but even then I struggle with little subtle differences in culture between where I grew up and the UK.

The overwhelming opinion seems to be (a) no to asking for vouchers and (b) if you don't like dealing with the presents, cut down on the kids.

It is my son's 6th birthday tomorrow:j. We had the issue where he wanted to leave two boys from his class off his party list. Told him he couldn't do that so we are having the lot of them over. Would be interested in others view on that (but only if there are no insults suggesting I only invite New Zealander's to the party thanks!)

Why is it getting offensive,when its the op that keeps saying HER culture and HER background! Perhaps she should learn what is socially acceptable in the U.K as she lives here,and try to integrate more! Instead of coming across that her background/culture are somehow better than ours! She has asked what is acceptable and the posters have made it clear what is acceptable and what is rude in the U.K.
I feel so sorry for the child having its presents taken away (even to give to charity), as this will definately be a huge upset. She made a mistake in inviting so many children to a small childs party, and cant cope now. Tough! Let the child keep the presents and deal with it!

mrcow

Errata wrote: »

Why would people need to dictate how their guests behave? Whose need is being met ? If it's the inviter does that mean they believe their needs are more important than those of their guests ?

Exactly.

I think some people here are having problems with understand the meaning of the words:

Guest

and

Gift

Penny-Pincher!!

Why don't you just invite all the children and stipulate NO gifts, then YOU take him to ELC and buy him something nice?????

Isn't there more pleasure in giving than recieving?

PP
xx

loobylou2

Whenever one of my 3 children has been invited to a party, I"ve always asked the parents of the child concerned if there was anything they would particularly like me to purchase for their child. I wouldn't be offended if someone told me what their child would like without my asking them but that does not mean that I would automatically purchase that particular item for the child. It would all depend on my budget and if I was asked to purchase something I could not afford for someone elses child I would say so and also say that I quite honestly couldn"t afford it!!! If the parents concerned refused to speak to me after that then that would be their problem not mine!!!

PolishBigSpender

Zazen999 wrote: »

Nail > head.
Dear Psychotherapist.

My life was never the same after my mum took all my birthday presents away. I never really knew why. I was only 6.

Spot on!

(I'm apparently not allowed to post anything below 10 characters now :rolleyes:)

vikki_louise

ive not read all 6 pages but what about donating some of the toys to sick kids at https://www.postpals.co.uk then your son gets the fun of opening them, thenthe fun of choosing someone he would liike to make smile who is 'worse off' than him and send which ever ones he is happy to part with?

JoolzS

I don't understand why anyone would invite 30 to 40 people to a child's birthday party. I wouldn't invite 30 people to my own birthday party.

I look back at photos of my own birthday parties when I was around 5 to 10 and I can usually name every single person in the photos (although it occasionally takes me a few seconds with one or two of them) because there were only around eight to ten guests. There are a couple of photos where I am completely puzzled about a child appearing in them - I have no idea who that child was and then it dawns on me - it was "hir" - that child I was forced to invite due to some unknowable pact with my parents.

I don't have kids but I like the idea, that I've seen over and over again online, of inviting the same number of kids as the age of the child. Nine guests for the ninth birthday, etc - with some give and take.

Inviting 30 to 40 kids simply means the birthday boy/girl cannot be the centre of attention - which surely has to be the point on that particular day.

Julie

ailuro2

We used to avoid the parties where 30 or 40 kids had been invited to run aorund in a big gym hall with a bouncy castle at one end, then eat a home-made buffet, this was the cheapest birthday party you could get for that many kids, and I always felt it was a present to pounds spent ratio. If it was the same thing but at home with fewer kids, then we'd always go and take a nice present with us.;)

When it's my DD's birthday she has a few of her favourite friends and we have a trip to the cinema or science centre and then out for lunch or tea. It's enough to celebrate and avoids having to invite the whole class to avoid missing out someone who isn't popular or she doesn't like.

to cut things short - a six year old doesn't have 40 'closest' friends. Cut the numbers to a lot less and do something exciting with them (science centres do great birthday parties and the kids have a ball)

Susan_Frost

I have not read all the posts, so these points may have already been said.

It is a 6 yrs olds party, they are dealing with children giving and receiving, not adults. Weddings, baby showers, etc. are adult stuff. Completely different.

Surely having a party is also a way of introducing children into "socialising" and "consideration" and "good manners", etc.

If invited I would probably ask mum/dad if there was anything the child was "into" so I had some idea if I did not know the child. But not "what does he want".

Then my child would have the opportunity to go with me to buy a present. Given a budget (yes may only be a couple of quid, its the idea and discussion of managing money and considering what may be liked/enjoyed that counts). My child would wrap the present and write the card - my child giving a present.

If my child was having the party I would expect him to "receive the guests" (not as formally as it sounds). OK he will not be able to rush off and play too much in the first 15 minutes, but he has the rest of the party to do that.

He can thank children properly for any present received and learn that if no present is brought, then that is ok too. Being realistic that most 6 year olds would also link party with present giving cos that is what he does when invited.

They would also learn how to accept a gift they did not really want in a considerate and caring way, and deal with the issue afterwards. i.e. a discussion that the present had been bought thinking he would like it, even if he did not and appreciate the fact someone took the time, effort and money to chose it.

I also think it is important that he opens the present in front of the giver because at six years old his guest will be excited to see that his present is liked and also should be thanked.

Also I teach my child that if he has any questions or does not understand what someone has done then he keeps quiet and asks me later.

I really dont mean to sound stuffy, officious, too formal, or anything like that.

Just that it is one of the opportunities children get to learn how to behave in the world, with good manners, considering others (either giving or receiving), etc.

If OP has lots of presents arriving at once, I would suggest they are put to one side when first given, and child opens them a few at a time through out the party when there is a bit of "informal play" going on.

I would not expect thank you notes to be written. A verbal, direct, thank you given at the time is fine.

Hope I dont get slated for this post, I am not snobby and dont mean any of this to be an angst or difficulty. Didn't mean to ramble.

HelenKA_2

I also think it is important that he opens the present in front of the giver because at six years old his guest will be excited to see that his present is liked and also should be thanked.

Me too! I hate it when we go to a party and the presents are tipped into a huge tub for taking home later to open - or if they are at home just flung aside till afterwards.

At our at home parties we wait till everyone has arrived then we sit down altogether and open all the guests gifts and pass them round to look at. This is cunning as it takes up a good amount of time, I can write down a legible list for thank yous and it gives us a chance to talk together with all the children not all of whom I may know well.

My children's closer friends also do this now.

It has taught my children to accept gifts politely, talk together in a group and to find nice things to say about what we have received.

I'm afraid now a days if it's a soft play/community centre style of party they will likely get a very cheap and cheerful present as my children rarely get thank you notes or any kind of appreciation of the gift they have given at these affairs.