HOw do I manage all the presents my 6 year old will be getting for birthday

Mely

Reds-on-Sea wrote: »

the issue isn't happysad's culture, it's that she's got foresight and consideration for her guests. It sounds as if you're using her "difference in culture" as a tool to belittle her argument. I'm English (well 1/2 Japanese actually, but born & raised here lol) and I totally agree with her. I wouldn't want people wasting their money on unnecessary gifts. On the flip side, I would be glad if a parent gave me clues as to what their child might like, or equally respectful & understanding if they said "no gifts"

she should be allowed to invite as many people as her son wants. it's not helpful to say, "you want less presents, invite less people" why shouldn't her son be surrounded by his friends on his birthday?

And it is wasteful to buy lots of clothes which are the same age as the child - somebody I know recently got 24 newborn baby grows as gifts....how helpful do you think that was? She asked for receipts an exchanged them for older clothes that would actually get used - I doubt anyone was offended!

I suggest you read the WHOLE thread before you comment! It was the op that mentioned her culture, and the culture in the U.K first. If you live in the U.K you need to learn what it socially acceptable and what is not. I was in no way belittling her comments.

Smashing

creased-leach wrote: »

There's a pretty obvious compromise here.

Write a not on the invites along the lines of:

"Please don't feel obliged to bring anything but a smile! However, if you would like to bring a gift but find yourself stuck for ideas, ELC vouchers would be great as Johnny is saving up for X"

That's so naff - if you were going to be mercenary, I'd much rather you were honest than tried to dress it up in such a vomit-inducing cutesy manner.

HappySad

Originally Posted by Reds-on-Sea
the issue isn't happysad's culture, it's that she's got foresight and consideration for her guests. It sounds as if you're using her "difference in culture" as a tool to belittle her argument. I'm English (well 1/2 Japanese actually, but born & raised here lol) and I totally agree with her. I wouldn't want people wasting their money on unnecessary gifts. On the flip side, I would be glad if a parent gave me clues as to what their child might like, or equally respectful & understanding if they said "no gifts"

she should be allowed to invite as many people as her son wants. it's not helpful to say, "you want less presents, invite less people" why shouldn't her son be surrounded by his friends on his birthday?

And it is wasteful to buy lots of clothes which are the same age as the child - somebody I know recently got 24 newborn baby grows as gifts....how helpful do you think that was? She asked for receipts an exchanged them for older clothes that would actually get used - I doubt anyone was offended!

---

I know of mothers who have no room & including myself for all the presents that are given. One mother gets unwanted present after unwanted present from family but does not want to offend then so she just puts then in a far away cupboard and not use them. She does not want to offend them in saying that she does not want the presents.


With my younger son and also when my older son was younger I deliberately did not have birthday parties; so that the present load would not arrive on my door. I would just bring along a cake + candles on our next friend/family outing and celebrate their birthday while we were there. That way I only ended up with a couple of presents & not a whole load.

Now my son is older he is now into birthday parties, he loves working out who is to invite and what will happen. So he has prearranged parties. When my younger son gets older he will too have birthday parties.

I know of someone else who just does big clear out of loads of hardly used or not used at all toys that are given @ Christmas & Birthdays.

In this multi cultural world I want to work within my own values and those of others. I have friends that completely don't believe in birthday parties and I repect that. I now know that people are offended if you say what you would like and I am too Ok with that.

My greener head just wants to limit the present purchasing and for my son to get a smaller number of presents. There is no real need to just buy more and more stuff for an event when the person probably does not want them. I personnally would be more offended if I spent my money on something for someone only to find out later that they would have liked something else. I am happy if they pass on my presents.

sooz

congratulations on the weight loss OP! :j
Back to the present debate, at 6, hopefully your little lad is sensible enough to tell you what pressies he likes, which ones he doesn't & which he'd be happy to re-gift. Before that age, they mostly want to rip the paper off asap, rip open the packaging & play with each item for about 5 mins before disguarding it.

Just make sure that this present opening happens at home, after all the guests have left. And if you are re-gifting, keep a careful note of who gave what. It may make it easier for him if you have partially pre-printed thank you cards, where you just fill in the blanks

We did a whole of class party for our eldest's 5th. It was hell :eek::D, & the gift boxes took up more room in the car coming home than all the party food did on the way there.

He loved opening them all. Some were duplicates, some was utter tat which he loved (stuff mum doesn't normally buy) & some really interesting things which we'd never normally consider. Before xmas we had a big clear out of unused stuff, both old & newish, to the charity shop, same as every year. He knows he needs to make room for xmas pressies, & santa likes him to donate his toys, & they need to be in good condition.

pretzelnut

I have a party for my DS every year and invite all his class from school, family and additional friends. Costs me a fortune but i love organising them and seeing him enjoy himself.

Theres usually about 60 children (we have a large family plus i dont like 1 single child to feel left out so everyone gets invited).

We hire the local church hall, get a bouncy castle and some other party games. I deligate party jobs to family so that every child has something to do as they all cant fit on the bouncy castle at the same time.

Family always ask what he would like or just give a voucher. Some offer to help towards food costs or buy the cake.

And his friends well, they just turn up, if they bring a gift then my son is grateful and writes a thank you card, if they dont bring one he doesnt care or even notice, he just wants to have fun.

Its all about him having a massive do with all the people who have an influenece in his life.

People will only buy what they want to buy if they are going to bring a gift, we occasionally double up but you can always take it back to a shop and exchange it (you dont need a receipt for an exchange) if you tell them your son got 2 for his birthday. Or ebay - then any money he makes can go towards something he would like or into his savongs account.

For all the girls parties my son gets invited to i usually look to see if there is a theme on the invite, if there into barbie, i try and buy something barbie. He went to a boys football themed party on saturday and we just bought a footy themed photo frame and the little lad loved it.

Just relax, let your son have his fun and worry about dealing with the gifts if and when he gets any.

littlemissmoney

cte1111 wrote: »

For one of my DD's friends parties, her Mum did ask for a fiver in a card rather than a present (if we wanted to give a gift), as it was not long after xmas, and she said she wanted to cut down on packaging.

:eek::eek::eek:

I think that is so rude! I'm so shocked anyone would do this! :eek:

Newly_retired

60 children!!!
So now they all have to invite your child back, whether they can afford it or not?

mrcow

Reds-on-Sea wrote: »

I wouldn't want people wasting their money on unnecessary gifts. On the flip side, I would be glad if a parent gave me clues as to what their child might like, or equally respectful & understanding if they said "no gifts"

Well tough!
It's a gift.

Definition of a gift: –noun 1.something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favour toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.

You don't dictate what people should give to you - that's rude
You don't ask for money - that's rude
You don't take a child's presents away from them - it's not your place

If someone asks you what to get, well that's different, but you wait to be asked first.

If you don't want the gifts - then don't invite the people in the first place. Don't expect people who are invited to a birthday not to bring presents - it's not the way we do things in this country.

And don't insult people by telling them what to bring either - or they'll think you rude and inappropriate (unless that's how you want to be perceived by your son's classmate's parents? - in which case, carry on.....)

Janepig

Newly_retired wrote: »

60 children!!!
So now they all have to invite your child back, whether they can afford it or not?

Rubbish. Says who? DD had a party with her friend last year so we could invite the whole class (30) plus afew extras on either side, but she wasn't invited to 30 parties in return. In fact she's been invited to very few of the boys' parties, and not all the girls either. Not all her class mates have big parties. She hasn't noticed and it doesn't bother me.

Jxx

HappySad

Newly_retired wrote: »

60 children!!!
So now they all have to invite your child back, whether they can afford it or not?

Why do they HAVE TO invite you back? i would certainly not want all my son's party guest inviting him just for that reason. Some families just want closer friends or just close families to their party & I would not want them inviting me just because they were at my son's party.