HOw do I manage all the presents my 6 year old will be getting for birthday

Zazen999

aliasojo wrote: »

Personally I think this is one of those situations where the parent should keep their nose well and truly out.

Abso-blimin-lutely

mrcow

HappySad wrote: »

You miss the point. It's not about giving a present that fits them now. Its about giving a present of something that they already have enough of. When you have little you don't value someone giving you another of the same of what you already have. Say e.g. You are on a very very low income & your close friends know you already have plenty of a particular item. It would not be considerate to buy then yet another one that they can make no use of... as they already have it. E.g. its like knowing a couple has a toaster business & then get them a toaster as a present. They could use it but they will not as they already have plenty. So getting clothes several times bigger means that you are thinking about the person's need to get the most of their things.

Its hard to explain & I have just giving these clothes away to charity not used As I already have enough for my son's current age & someone else can make better use of it.

If you think of it from a greener perspective you may be able to understand.

I'm not missing any point.

I come from a low income background. We live in 2nd hand clothes, everything I had was a hand-me-down, we ate OS because that's all we could afford, my Mum had countless jobs on the go just to keep us going. We had holes in all of our carpets until I was about 17. My Mum never had a cooker of her own until I bought her one with one of my first month's salaries. She never had a couch of her own until I was nearly 30. We wanted for everything, and nothing, if you can understand that?

And actually you'll find that those, who GENUINELY have nothing, appreciate everything that they get.

Everything!
Especially if it's a gift that someone has kindly purchased out of their own generosity.

You stated it was a cultural thing?
That it would be "offensive to your culture" for someone to buy a gift where you may only get 6 months wear out of it?

Now you're trying to imply that it's an economic thing because you're so hard up?

I challenge you that it is neither! It is a greed thing......

Your opening post is far more on the money than anything else you have subsequently written. You want to ask your guests for vouchers or money or to specify to them what to buy. You have been given appropriate answers to your inital question (in that it would be rude to try and dictate what gifts to buy for a birthday party) and are now trying to back track.

At least be honest.

It's not a cultural thing.
And it's certainly not because you have "very, very little" (if you did - you'd appreciate everything you got!).
It's just you - trying to control the gifts you are given - when the point of a gift is that it is chosen by the giver and given unconditionally.

Accept all gifts that are given graciously. As a host - that is your role.

aliasojo

mrcow wrote: »

It's just you - trying to control the gifts you are given - when the point of a gift is that it is chosen by the giver and given unconditionally.

Accept all gifts that are given graciously. As a host - that is your role.

:T




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Spendless

aliasojo wrote: »

I dont find that particularly odd tbh. It's not something I would do personally but there can be 30 kids in an average class and many parents dont like leaving anyone out (which is a kind thought) so it's easy to see why the numbers are big.

I've just picked up on this comment by ailuro2.......

'We used to avoid the parties where 30 or 40 kids had been invited to run aorund in a big gym hall with a bouncy castle at one end, then eat a home-made buffet, this was the cheapest birthday party you could get for that many kids, and I always felt it was a present to pounds spent ratio. If it was the same thing but at home with fewer kids, then we'd always go and take a nice present with us.;)'

:rotfl:You wouldn't have liked us then. When my ex husband left, he left me with no money (there was £3.25 left on the table), and a house that was in the middle of renovation. My then youngest, took really badly to his Dad going and the Headmaster of his school offered us the school/community gym hall free of charge and also collected the hired bouncy castle for us himself, just to help out and try to make son's birthday a nice day instead of a day to remember that his Dad wasn't there. We couldn't have had kids in the house, it was practically dangerous for us to live there never mind having a group of kids in too. I had visions of them going to the loo and falling off the top landing a bit like lemmings (we had no bannister or floor boards at one point). As it was in the gym, there was plenty of room so we just invited his whole class.

I fed the lot of them with cheapie stuff from Farmfoods and they all seemed to have a good time.

:think: I wonder if any of the parents had the same thoughts as you though.........:undecided There was I thinking I'd done well and maybe some peeps were thinking I was being a lazy cheapskate. :rotfl:

I was so surprised when I saw the italic bit had been quoted by someone else as though it was aliasojo's comment cos the bit about who had said it had been chopped that I've had to go and read the whole thread.:D

I've never spent a differring amount due to the party being held. The cost to hire our village hall is expensive so that plus entertainer/bouncy castle plus beffet would be a large overall cost. Far more expensive than a play pub affair that you have 10-12 guests at. Not everyone has a large enough house to accommodate guests at a home party and it depends on when the birthday is/how the weather is as to whether you can spill outside or not.

To the OP- You have to appreciate that you are living in a country that does not ness have the same beliefs/culture as yourself. It is complete news to me that to buy a child something that he would be able to wear now for his birthday that is now is offensive and I should be buying something that will fit in a year or two.

Sammy- I once had a similar dilemma. There was a boy in my son's class who had made my son's life hell for the prev year and was continuing to do so. if I'd had a party for ds then I didn't wish to invite this kid. My options were I would have the whole class and have him or I would have a smaller party and only invite a few friends so many people in ds's class wouldn't be going. I went for option 2.

pipkin71

aliasojo wrote: »

pipkin....I think there is a world of difference between what the son would like and what the parent would like.

Personally I think this is one of those situations where the parent should keep their nose well and truly out.

I get that aliasojo, but to begin with it was about the present, then changed to not interested in presents, then present giving not what they do.

Agree with there being a world of diference between parent and child. Child would probably be happy with a pack of crayons from poundland.

pipkin71

mrcow wrote: »

and are now trying to back track.

That's what I thought about the posts following the initial OP, mrcow.

maxinelouise

i think i would think it a bit cheeky,
my son,s having a third birthday party next week and if anyone asks me,i,ve said you really don,t have to buy him anything........ if they insist i say he,s having a painting easel as one of his present so anything that can be used with that,which is then up to them,
you can bet your life his favourite present will be from someone who comes to his party with a small inexpensive gift and he won,t even look at anything else..... i,ve still got a couple of presents from his 2nd party that i whisked away as they were a little too old for him a few others i brought out on a rainy day!!

LittleMissAspie

mrcow wrote: »

You stated it was a cultural thing?
That it would be "offensive to your culture" for someone to buy a gift where you may only get 6 months wear out of it?

Now you're trying to imply that it's an economic thing because you're so hard up?

I challenge you that it is neither! It is a greed thing......

I disagree. The OP has been saying that being wasteful (ie uneconomical) is offensive in her culture. I can understand that - I don't really like getting presents from people because it's usually not an object I want and most of them end up at the charity shop. I find it horribly wasteful, and I find the general wastefulness of modern society distasteful. All the packaging, all the oil and materials used in manufacture, all the fuel used to transport it, everything the planet has given up to enable humans to make this object, all completely wasted. I would rather get nothing than something I don't want.

REDUCE, then re-use and recycle. All the emphasis is on recycling, it should be on reducing.

CarolynH

LittleMissAspie wrote: »

I disagree. The OP has been saying that being wasteful (ie uneconomical) is offensive in her culture. I can understand that ...............................
REDUCE, then re-use and recycle. All the emphasis is on recycling, it should be on reducing.

I wonder how much food will be wasted by 40 excited 6 year olds not eating more than a bit or two from their disposable party plates or from wrapping paper from the anticipated 30 plus presents.

These seem like muche easier areas to 'REDUCE first'.

Tink82

When my daughter turned 6 we threw her a cheap party at the village church hall. She invited the class as she didn't want to leave anyone out whcih was fine by me as she had a clown so numbers didn't really matter.

Re the presents, she opened them all that day then chose some to take out the wrapping and the rest have been stored away for days when she is bored and we can get the 'shiney new toy' out, gives more excitment than having everything in one go, plus they can't play with it all at the same time