HOw do I manage all the presents my 6 year old will be getting for birthday

SammyD_2

Mely wrote: »

Why is it getting offensive,when its the op that keeps saying HER culture and HER background! Perhaps she should learn what is socially acceptable in the U.K as she lives here,and try to integrate more! Instead of coming across that her background/culture are somehow better than ours! She has asked what is acceptable and the posters have made it clear what is acceptable and what is rude in the U.K.
I feel so sorry for the child having its presents taken away (even to give to charity), as this will definately be a huge upset. She made a mistake in inviting so many children to a small childs party, and cant cope now. Tough! Let the child keep the presents and deal with it!

Well, because, the suggestion was that if she doesn't like the way things are done, just invite people from her background. IE, do it our way or !!!!!! off! The OP asked the question, got some fairly heated responses (the substance of which I agree with) then explained her reasons for thinking her original position might be acceptable by saying she is from a different culture.

That you take it as "coming across that her background/culture is better than ours" sums up why I thought the debate is getting offensive. There are cultural differences in gift giving and social occaisions. The OP needs to weigh into the mix how what she is proposing might be viewed by those outside her culture and make a judgment on what she should do.

There is nothing wrong with asking, and her explanation might mean that if any of us receive a request such as this from others, perhaps it is not meant to be offensive, but comes from a genuinely different set of social mores and values. It does not mean we have to respond to it by not giving a gift, but perhaps if we understood things like this a bit better we might all live more harmonious lives!

Mely

SammyD wrote: »

Well, because, the suggestion was that if she doesn't like the way things are done, just invite people from her background. IE, do it our way or !!!!!! off! The OP asked the question, got some fairly heated responses (the substance of which I agree with) then explained her reasons for thinking her original position might be acceptable by saying she is from a different culture.

That you take it as "coming across that her background/culture is better than ours" sums up why I thought the debate is getting offensive. There are cultural differences in gift giving and social occaisions. The OP needs to weigh into the mix how what she is proposing might be viewed by those outside her culture and make a judgment on what she should do.

There is nothing wrong with asking, and her explanation might mean that if any of us receive a request such as this from others, perhaps it is not meant to be offensive, but comes from a genuinely different set of social mores and values. It does not mean we have to respond to it by not giving a gift, but perhaps if we understood things like this a bit better we might all live more harmonious lives!

It was the op that said HER culture etc. I simply said that as she is living in the U.K she needs to understand our etiquette. I never said she should f off if she doesnt like it. She asked our opinion and the majority of posters have explained to her what is rude and what isnt, and i agree with them. As for 'outside her culture',as you put it. Three words come to mind, INTEGRATION INTO SOCIETY:D

mrcow

Mely wrote: »

It was the op that said HER culture etc.

And it was me who queried which culture finds it "offensive" to buy clothes for a child that will fit them?

I'm still intrigued. I was wondering if perhaps the OP's family belonged to a clown troup so they all have to wear out-sized clothes?

shellsuit

mrcow wrote: »

And it was me who queried which culture finds it "offensive" to buy clothes for a child that will fit them?

I'm still intrigued. I was wondering if perhaps the OP's family belonged to a clown troup so they all have to wear out-sized clothes?

You do make me laugh sometimes! :rotfl::rotfl:

galvanizersbaby

mrcow wrote: »

And it was me who queried which culture finds it "offensive" to buy clothes for a child that will fit them?

I'm still intrigued. I was wondering if perhaps the OP's family belonged to a clown troup so they all have to wear out-sized clothes?

:rotfl:And it is me who is now left thinking a bit too deeply about party etiquette for small children.
I have never really considered getting too many or few presents - I just let them enjoy the parties - it's all rather more complex than I thought :rotfl:

We always write thank you cards my kids like to print them off with a photo of the 'party children' and it's good writing practice for them and I believe it is good manners.
We tend to recieve thank you notes from their classmates too so we are obviously not that unusual.

Sweetpeanut

Hi, i'd rather people put a fiver, in then buy any presents, my DD had her 5th birthday the other week, and people bought her pj's an the like but none fit her as shes in a size 8-9 (not that shes tubby, jus tall an likes to be comfy;)) so i'd rather no-one only family buy her clothes, but £5 seems a fair amount to me, and she/he can put it altogether and get something she/he really wants, as another poster said, re; party bags, i always do party bags, with lots of sweeties an something from the £ shop for each child, bobbles, bubbles, skipping rope or colouring stuff, i like the thought of kids thinking they've bin to a good party and got a good goody-bag too (but thats just me:D)..

Mips

I really find it bizarre you would invite 30/40 kids to a birthday party for a 6 year.

Overwhelming and overkill certainly spring to mind..

.. the gift lift suggestion gave me a little chuckle though :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:


How many tiers is the cake?

aliasojo

Dippychick wrote: »

I really find it bizarre you would invite 30/40 kids to a birthday party for a 6 year.

Overwhelming and overkill certainly spring to mind..

I dont find that particularly odd tbh. It's not something I would do personally but there can be 30 kids in an average class and many parents dont like leaving anyone out (which is a kind thought) so it's easy to see why the numbers are big.

I've just picked up on this comment by ailuro2.......

'We used to avoid the parties where 30 or 40 kids had been invited to run aorund in a big gym hall with a bouncy castle at one end, then eat a home-made buffet, this was the cheapest birthday party you could get for that many kids, and I always felt it was a present to pounds spent ratio. If it was the same thing but at home with fewer kids, then we'd always go and take a nice present with us.;)'

:rotfl:You wouldn't have liked us then. When my ex husband left, he left me with no money (there was £3.25 left on the table), and a house that was in the middle of renovation. My then youngest, took really badly to his Dad going and the Headmaster of his school offered us the school/community gym hall free of charge and also collected the hired bouncy castle for us himself, just to help out and try to make son's birthday a nice day instead of a day to remember that his Dad wasn't there. We couldn't have had kids in the house, it was practically dangerous for us to live there never mind having a group of kids in too. I had visions of them going to the loo and falling off the top landing a bit like lemmings (we had no bannister or floor boards at one point). As it was in the gym, there was plenty of room so we just invited his whole class.

I fed the lot of them with cheapie stuff from Farmfoods and they all seemed to have a good time.

:think: I wonder if any of the parents had the same thoughts as you though.........:undecided There was I thinking I'd done well and maybe some peeps were thinking I was being a lazy cheapskate. :rotfl:

weezl74

aliasojo wrote: »

... As it was in the gym, there was plenty of room so we just invited his whole class.

I fed the lot of them with cheapie stuff from Farmfoods and they all seemed to have a good time.

:think: I wonder if any of the parents had the same thoughts as you though.........:undecided There was I thinking I'd done well and maybe some peeps were thinking I was being a lazy cheapskate. :rotfl:

aliasojo, I don't know how anyone could think it's lazy or cheap to cater for 30 kids and give each of the parents a cuppa too! I think it's a sad indictment on our society if a lovely party like you've described can ever be thought of as lazy or cheapskate!:)

PS I personally think it can be a lot lazier just to write a big fat cheque out to 'build a bear workshop' or whatever... ;)

smartie12

I'm so glad my DS is 13 and past the birthday party stage

He went to the "more nicer" primary school and right from the age of 4 all the parents seemed to have a "competition" to have the best birthday party for their little darling.... and the best party bags:rolleyes::rotfl:

Throughout the year I would pick up bargains to put away ready for the dreaded party invites. Luckily I don't think any of the parents would of dreamt of writing a gift list.... and it would of been tough - I would of still given one of my bargain toys/gifts:p

One year my DS did have a joint party with another boy in his class and invited the whole class... but this was only because we were about to be made homeless and I was trying to find somewhere to live so left it to the other mother to organise. If it had been down to me I would NEVER of invited 30 kids

I only ever had a few friends round for party food or would take them to the cinema/pizza hut.

I'm sure some parents do invite lots of kids just because they think "wahey lots of pressies"!!!!;)