selling with adult children who refuse to leave

tek-monkey

Sounds like she's too scared to take charge and sort it out, you'd think another family member would help her. My brother was taking the **** a bit when living with my mum so I got him to move in with me, pay his way and stop being such a waster. Been living with me since 2004, and mum has enjoyed a new lease of life (although he just lost his job, bah!).

TBH if my siblings were acting this way I'd have a word. If they didn't listen I'd probably physically remove them and change the locks myself. She's spent her life looking after them, she needs a break. I'm fairly protective of my mum though!

gocat

Wondering how much keep people think is fair to charge for an adult child staying at home with their parent and gets food, electric, washing etc etc. and who is earning e.g. £25,000 Just looking for a ballpoint figure.

Jowo_2

gocat wrote: »

Wondering how much keep people think is fair to charge for an adult child staying at home with their parent and gets food, electric, washing etc etc. and who is earning e.g. £25,000 Just looking for a ballpoint figure.

There are a few approaches

1. Whatever the householder is prepared to accept - they may be happy for a modest contribution, if for example, they wanted to assist their kid to save towards a deposit.

2. Whatever the going market rate is for a lodger in the local area - review local adverts to see how much a room is that includes bills and get the adult child to do their own washing/ironing and buy/cook their own food like most lodgers do. This is ideal to get them to start standing on their own two feet.

3. Add up all bills and running costs, including groceries and perhaps mortgage and household & boiler insurance, and then split by the number of adults in the property so they pay a true proportion of outgoings like any other householder would do. They may be surprised how expensive it is or they may feel its fair that they pay an exact contribution.

Old_Git

rather than let them live in her bungalow rent free for 3 months
I would offer to pay there rent for 3 months somewhere else .After 3 months its not her problem

scottn

sent out a message, annouce that you are coming over for the weekend to help do some packing and clearing out of the house. tell the "kids" to make sure they will be there all weekend to help with some clearing out. get from free cardboard boxes from the supermarket. hopefully that will get the message across, if it doesn't...well atleast you've helped MIl with some packing and clearing.

tek-monkey

gocat wrote: »

Wondering how much keep people think is fair to charge for an adult child staying at home with their parent and gets food, electric, washing etc etc. and who is earning e.g. £25,000 Just looking for a ballpoint figure.

£450pm minimum, as it would cost them at least £350 in a shared house and they are getting a lot done or them.

bitsandpieces

Is there a particular reason she's investing the money in a bungalow? It would be risky to invest all/the great bulk of assets in one thing at the best of times, and this isn't the best of times to invest in property or to get into renting... Certainly, if she does so then letting 2 adults live there rent-free for three months - and potentially squat after that - would be very risky. It might be worth considering other types of investment - speaking to an independent financial advisor, if she hasn't already - in order to spread her risk and perhaps generate a more reliable income, at least until she wants to buy herself a place.

Off topic - but this hasn't already been done, it may be worth making enquiries with social services about possibilities for supported employment for the 16 year old. I imagine he will be finishing college within a couple of years, and these things can take time to set-up... Also, given that people are moving about atm, it's worth discussing longer-term issues re his housing: is the plan for him to move into supported housing in time? Will family help to support him? Etc.

maryotuam

I think your husband needs to give his mum back up by being there when the 28 days notice is up and see to it that the locks are changed. Arrange for the siblings to xcollect their belongings on a certain date and give them money for 3 nights local hotel.
If there is a scene call the police and either way both of you sit in with MIL for a couple of nights as moral support.

If you have this planned the brother and sister will sense you mean business and it might not come to this.

MIL should not buy a bungalow till these users have got their own places!

Fire_Fox

samanthaxxx wrote: »

They do nothing to help in the house but the daughter has a bad habit of moving furniture around to how she wants it as if she owns the house and mum-in-law gets upset about that too. I think they have gradually worn her down and taken over but she needs to get strong with them.

I'd move her stuff around, from 'her' room onto the front lawn ... in the rain.

princeofpounds

If the adult kids are still in the house when the keys and money are exchanged, I'm pretty sure the new owner will escort them to the door.

That is probably the worst situation that could happen. If vacant possession is agreed and not delivered, then the mother is going to find herself in court paying damages to the new owners faster than a whippet

Look, it's pretty clear what the answer is here. Give the 'kids' notice as a courtesy and make them move out.

Unlike those who say 'don't get involved' I think there is another layer to this - don't forget that the OP is married to the third 'adult kid' who lives outside the home. So this is a direct family issue and the MIL has clearly been asking for advice. You don't ignore your own mother's troubles.

However, I think caution itself is wise. The advice should be given, and support as well, but then is the time to step back as she has to make decisions for herself.