selling with adult children who refuse to leave

Zelie

The problem is that no mortgage company is going to provide cash to a buyer unless there is vacant possession. It's not as easy as just selling up and moving on. Nobody will be able to buy unless they move on.

I missed the bit about her paying for their bills. I agree with the PP who said cancel payments on their stuff and let them live in the real world for a bit.

samanthaxxx

Sorry for confusing you Dopester let me explain again.

Mum-in-law who is 63 is living in big 5 bed detached in west sussex with daughter aged 30 son aged 26 and austistic son (adopted)of 16. she has a interest only morgtage on this house at present. Don't know exact figures but she is selling it for about £400,000k after paying of the mortgage she will have approx £250,000 cash enough to buy a 2 bedroomed bungalow. Her intentions are to move herself and 16 year old in with a friend for as he has a big house and a disalbled son and they all get on well. She wants to buy the bungalow to rent out so she has extra income and a place to live if don't work out staying with friend. But before she rents out the bungalow to proper tennents she is saying that she will let the 2 adult children live in it for 3 months so they have time to sort themselves out and so they move out of the present house without any problems.
Hope I have managed to sort out your confusion Dopester and thank you everyone for your advice :A:A:A

roseland69

I guess the $64,000 is... will the kids move out of the bungalow when the 3 months is up!!

samanthaxxx

This is exactly my concern Roseland

roseland69

Out of curiousity, do you know how much "keep" they pay their mum at the moment. And how much the rent is likely to be on the bungalow? i.e will it be set at the "going rate". Or in other words, if they can afford to rent the bungalow, why can't they afford to rent somewhere else. There are lots of rentals on the market right now. They could sort themselves out one pretty quickly.

samanthaxxx

Hi Roseland as far as I know they don't pay any 'keep' at the moment the daughter was grudgingly handing over a bit for a while but that has stopped now because she is refusing to talk to her mum over this whole issue. With regards to them paying rent on the bungalow she is intending to let them stay there 3 months rent free which is plain bloody stupid::mad:

roseland69

samanthaxxx wrote: »

Hi Roseland as far as I know they don't pay any 'keep' at the moment the daughter was grudgingly handing over a bit for a while but that has stopped now because she is refusing to talk to her mum over this whole issue. With regards to them paying rent on the bungalow she is intending to let them stay there 3 months rent free which is plain bloody stupid::mad:

Blimey. Lost for words really. These children are parasites, pure and simple. The rule in our house was that all adults paid keep towards the house. I moved out to London at 18 mind so I didn't have a chance to pay much. But even when I was at tech college before then I worked waitressing at weekends and gave mum a few quid. And my brother's also - we all did odd jobs and things before we got a proper job and gave mum and dad some of that. And when my brother's got full time jobs and lived at home, they gave mum and dad money to cover their bills. As I say... "keep".

I am utterly flabberghasted these adult people pay nothing towards their home. Do they work? If so, what are they doing with their money?

Seems to me the mum has taken motherly love to an extreme and is now paying the price. Our job as parent is to bring up our children to be responsbile adults. Not to mollycoddle them so they can't function by themselves. You get more respect by setting boundaries than you do by letting them get away with stuff. I feel like I'm talking about toddlers. These people are in their 20's and 30s!! Shame on them.

The mother needs to really take control and insist on them getting their own place. If they don't. Then they are out on their ear. Of course the mum is worried that if she does that it'll break up her family. But sounds to me like they are playing the guilt trip and the time has come to call their bluff. In all honesty they sound like right nasty pieces of work.

Mum should INSIST they find a rental property of their own and learn to stand on their own two feel like adults. If they don't like it they should take a hike and move out. If they won't move out then fine. She should sell it, change the locks and not give them keys to the new place either. She may find her life is a lot better off without them, children or no. And they might come to realise she was doing them a favour in the end and come back (to visit - not stay!!) grovelling. Though somehow I can't see it from what you say.

But as it is there is NO WAY they will move out of the bungalow in 3 months. As they have no insentive to do so. So I wouldn't let them within a million miles of the place personally!!

samanthaxxx

I totally with everything you say Roseland thanks everyone for taking the time to write replies. Regards to your question 'do they work' the daughter has now got a full time job after about six years of being unemployed her justification was that she would help around the house while looking for work but she never did much to help and no job was good enough unless it was a top restaurant job which was what she had when younger. Mcdonalds etc was below her. somehow she has managed to get a job in the restaurant of a posh hotel and has been doing that for a couple of years now and started paying a bit of 'keep' but it has stopped 1 because of this issue and 2 because she says she can't afford to give any (god knows why) Where does she think the food she eats comes from;
With regards to the son he did have a job as a car salesman but was let go about a year ago because of reccession I presume and to be fair he did help out financally when working but dosent help around the house. just sits in his room playiing computer games or goes out with friends. He has recently got a bit of photography work but not full time just the odd wedding gig. Mum-in-law asks for money but they both say they can't afford it. They both have cars, laptops (bought by mum-in-law)and son also has a computer and ipod oh and they both smoke.
Ironically they don't smoke in front of their mum as they think its disrepectfull what a joke huh;

Zelie

Time mum stopped buying them food and electric then. If she buys only for her and youngest son they will be forced to either buy their own or reassess whether they want to contribute to the household. Sounds like mum is the only one doing housework too - she needs to stop doing anything that is to their benefit and restrict their access to appliances/crockery etc if need be.

These people are a joke. Utterly disrespectful and they have no idea how they are damaging themselves in the eyes of their mother and others.

samanthaxxx

We are trying to get her away from the idea of moving in with friend and to live in the bungalow instead. I will suggest to hubby to get her to look at this thread it might make her see some sense.