pammyj74's MFW diary (or possible wishful thinking!!)

knitwit67

It is hard when they start to lead there own life. My son is 17, he came with us this year but last year he did'nt want to. As long as you keep the welcome mat out they will be back to empty the food cupboards. Be proud of him for working it's hard to get a job out there. My 22 year old step daughter is talking about coming next year. I see my job with my son as a safe place to land. You try to lead them the right way but they don't listen, all you can do is wait. They need there dad at this age, changing from a boy to a man is scarry stuff. He is going to change loads in the next 4 years, but what wont change is you being his mum. That invisable piece of elastic that joins you both, that he can'nt see will keep bringing him back.

We have just had the 22 year old move back in , so you never know, thats what happens when you tell them they will always have a home with you if they want it.

Hope this helps , enjoy the holiday, your storing up memories of the other 2

pammyj74

thanks knitwit, he is his dads son, we have a bit of a strained relationship as it is. I just seem to be getting more and more cut out of it.

I have now been struggling to get someone to take his place but its a bit short notice. My sister doesnt have a passport and they wont let her get one that quick being the first.

Anyone know someone in the passport office????

cha97michelle

Aww pammy. Not read for a few days and you have had it a bit up and down. Yay for the focus group and approaching the year, and being brave enough to cut your DDs hair, and her doing so well at the swimming.

Then i read about your son. My 1st thought was well good on him for getting a job at least, but then i thought, hang on, you can usually take existing hols. Did i read it right his dad owns/manages the factory? Or just works there. Maybe his dad pulled a string or two to get him the job and now he feels he doesn't want to let him down.

Don't beat yourself up about it. I've seen from my DH and his brother that boys don't stay as close to their parents at that sort of age. It is only in the past few years since me getting pregnant with DS1 that we had holidays again with his parents. The last twice it was because we paid for it and asked them and his brother to come too. I've noticed his brother becoming a lot more affectionate too. My brother however is a different kettle of fish and i think he will always want to live with my mum. I know how you must be feeling. I am dreading my two being that age and maybe moving off to the other side of the country.

I think let him know it makes you sad, but that the door is always open in future. He will realise different things like how hard you have worked for him once he has his own responsbilities and an idea of the world. When you are 16 you think you know it all. Then you get to 18 and think you know more. Then you get to 21 and realise how little you knew at 18, and then you get to 30 and realise what an idiot you were some of the time and how now you actually know something but still have a lot to learn. Or is that just me and my family? I had this self same conversation with my sister only yesterday.

Chin up chuck. Look on any bright side. The pennies will go a lot further spoiling the other 2.

pammyj74

thanks cha, I know he thinks he knows it all. His dad works at the factory and apparently pulled a few strings to get him the job. They both didnt think about the holiday but it cant be helped now.
If I cant get anyone to come at such short notice then I wil have to pay a cancellation fee on his ticket and this late in the day its 90% which is going to be about £350!!

I am feeling really anxious now and keep crying on and off.

newgirly

Hi Pammy, I'm so sorry you are so upset, I would be too after planning and looking forward to it for a while. I agree with what Michelle and Knitwit said before. I would let him know how upset you are, but I'm sure he already knows!
As for the holiday, I would get your sister to apply first thing, you never know, it may well come back in time, I know its a lot of money to gamble , but she could always join you next year? My heart goes out to you, you think kids will become less hard work when they get older, but its just a different set of worries, which I fear may be never ending!

cha97michelle

Didn't realise you would lose out so much financially too. It would probably also cost then to transfer the ticket to someone elses name too.

I don't have a passport either at the moment or i would have been tempted to come with you. I'll have to make do with my UK break.

pammyj74

Copying cha97michelle I am doing my yearly summary, its been a year since I started this diary. Considering I am doing it on my own I havent done that bad but could do better (as my teacher used to say!)
Not as impressive as some but the years knocked off I am pleased with


.......................June 2009.............June 2010...............achieving difference

rate....................5.89%...................3.50%......................2.39%

term....................21.5.....................11.5..........................10 years off

in months..............258......................137..........................121 months shaved (well 109 taking off 12month)

balance.............£86,818.62.............£78,276....................£8,542.62 paid off capital

daily int rate.........£13.89..................£7.57........................£6.32 difference

monthly..............£430.59................£230.25....................£200.34 difference (based on 31 days)

It will be nice to look back in a year and see it even better

pammyj74

cha97michelle wrote: »

Didn't realise you would lose out so much financially too. It would probably also cost then to transfer the ticket to someone elses name too.

I don't have a passport either at the moment or i would have been tempted to come with you. I'll have to make do with my UK break.

If I change it more than 7 days to go it will only cost me £30! the holiday is a tesco freebie, so its going to cost me a lot more than I thought.

cha97michelle

Yay. Well done to you. That is pretty impressive like you say as there is only one of you and then 3 kids to sort too. i didn't realise we had started our threads within days of each other. Hopefully we will both have another good year at it.:beer:

pammyj74

Hope so, thanks. not as impressive as your reducing balance though

something really bizarre happened tonight. My DD has a school trip tomorrow and me being me decides to read the letter just to make sure (at the last minute) and realised that she needs lunch in a disposable bag which means a disposable drink. I didnt have any and only had a 1 litre empty bottle so filled it up half and put it in the fridge. I then noticed that a kitchen cupboard was open slightly and I hadnt even been near it and as i went to close it I couldnt and there was a little plastic bottle blocking it!!! How spooky is that? Its as if something or someone was trying to tell me that it was in there!!