MSE Pregnancy Club XIII

Nicki

aless02 wrote: »

Nicki - you take offense too easily. I was saying it was carp & irresponsible of the MIDWIVES to only offer one thing and not even attempt to discuss pain relief with her. It was like, "you want some [drug] now, right?" and that was it. :rolleyes:

I didn't take offence, and am not sure why you think I did . I did however express my dislike at anyone judging a woman for a choice she made in childbirth when they haven't walked in her shoes. For some reason it's always women who judge other women, and its only childbirth which is so competitive. You don't tend to see the same levels of criticism levelled at those accepting pain relief to set broken bones even though people's perceptions of this pain also differ.

As for what you ACTUALLY said, as opposed to what you might have wanted to say it was this

She (ie the mother) seemed totally clueless and willing to do whatever the MW told her without considering any other options. She then was so drugged up & totally out of it during the whole labour that the MW practically had to drag the baby out as she was too high to push properly. It's that sort of stuff that annoys the carp outta me - not the taking of the pethidine itself, but that she (ie the mother) didn't make any sort of informed, rational decision

I still can't see where in that post you criticised the midwife but there did seem to be some condemnation of the mother for not arguing her corner and debating the issue, which as I attempted to say in my post is not as easy to do as you might think when you are actually there in labour, however well prepared or ordinarily articulate you are.

For some reason though, there are a small number of posters on this thread who express themselves in quite strong terms about how birth should be and the choices that people should make, and when I have attempted to say its not black and white and other choices are valid, or you aren't a bad person or a failure if you don't reach the gold standard, then it is turned round to say I've taken offence or have opened a debate. I can only speak from the perspective of my own experiences and if these aren't as good as your ideal, then that is a shame, but they are my experiences, I can't change them, and sharing them may help others who have the same ones. I know I'm not unique in not achieving the perfect two home births pain relief free swinging from the bannister, but what I do take offence to is those who want to censor me for expressing a valid, and perfectly polite, opinion which just happens to disagree with theirs.

Glamazon

Sarah_Joanne wrote: »

My Oh is the same. He has a very cushy job which he generally really, really enjoys. He only has to work about 12 to 18 hours per week and earns the same as me, working 37 hours a week in a job I don't like. Yet he texts me from work all the time complaining he's bored and not having a good night. If he had what I deem to be a "proper" job working long hours like everyone else I think he'd be in for a big shock!!

My OH isn't working right now but is being paid cos they have to give him 3 months notice - he moaned that they had asked him to do some work from home for 3 days!
When he is working, his job no matter what it is is always deemed harder or more crap than mine! It's just the way he is now so I let him ramble! He went through a phase of calling me a 'part-timer' cos I worked 37.5hrs and he worked 40hrs and moaning that I got weekends off and he only got Sunday and Wednesday!

lou66_2

Nicki
You took my comment in totaly the wrong way what i was trying to say was you can not plan to have a total pain relief birth and then give yourself a hard time if that does not happen. As i said before you can plan things but they may not always turn out the way you would hope for.

aless02

welcome xkymx!!

Glamazon

HI KYM :wave:

Welcome to the mad house :rotfl:

lou66_2

Welcome xkymk and congrats on getting to 12 weeks. :beer:

newmoneysaver_2

WM - I meant to comment earlier but obviously pregnancy brain kicked in.

You are doing a fab job coping with OH in hospital, working, DS and being pregnant! Please come here and rant all you like, whatever it takes to help you cope - we ladies really don't mind. I agree with Glam, it make sense to do the op whilst he is already there, hopefully the consultants will see it this way too! It would be great for you and hubby if you get this sorted before baby arrives, but even if you just get the ball rolling, I'#m sure it will be a big help! Hugs to you! x

Oops - preg brain nearly stuck again
Welcome Kym :wave:

jennynoo

Havent posted for a while so I know there are lots of congratulations and welcomes needed but I can't remember now - brain being slow today.

Well, I'm being replaced by two people due to someone being made redundant who doesn't really fit the job spec (can only work 3 days for a full time job and doesn't have the required skills). That person is being given a 2 year post covering some of my odd, easier jobs then someone else is going to do full time for 15 months covering the rest of my projects. Not sure there will be much left for me when I return especially as I'm only planning on taking 10 months . I hate thinking other people are taking my projects and the guy they have lined up for the 15month post is not someone I like much but a good friend of one of the other managers I know worse things can happen and my work are being really understanding about my pregnancy but I just feel all gloomy about it at the mo. Sorry for the rant.

Sarah_Joanne

Don't need to apologise jennynoo, that sounds pretty rubbish. So what will you actually do when you return if there's going to be quite a long crossover with the other 2? I hope you don't have to take on a different role.

jha

congrats xkymx:j:T:D