Family!

Ruthie5

I think you should tell your Mum and your auntie how important it is for you to have your Grandad there for your special day, and that you'd really appreciate their support in making it happen. Clearly, as you are the bride it will be difficult for you to be of much practical support, so maybe they could come up with a plan that means they enjoy the day and Grandpa gets to see his granddaughter married?

Maybe if your Mum is being more helpful than auntie, you could have this chat with your Mum? If there are reasonable obstacles to overcome..eg cost etc..you could make some suggestions/offers of help with these?

sexki11en

*Louise* wrote: »

I feel so sorry for your grandad :sad:

Too often when older people reach a certain age, they get pushed aside as if they are no longer useful, and are made to feel as though they are a burden.

It's wonderful that you have tried so hard to have your grandad there, and tbh I think you need to make your feelings clear about the situation long before the day (no point in ruining your actual day because of people's selfishness)

You need to tell them asap how unhappy you are with the way they are acting.

xx

I will Louise. I feel exactly the same way - as if he's being pushed aside. I can see this causing a huge family rift but you know what.....? I don't care. I'll happily distance myself from them all after this disgraceful behaviour. I have a new family now after all.

SK x

Yellowbug

It sounds to me that your grandad is very important to you, so I think you should do whatever you can to have him there
stuff your auntie and mum, they are being extremely selfish, its your day and it should go the way you want it too

have you tried sitting down with your mum and explaining to her how important it is to you?
maybe talk to your grandad to see if he would mind having a chaperone to sit with him through the day

webitha

im sorry but i would say "if he cant come, because of your selfish attitude, then your not welcome"
stuff em i say its your day and ask your grandad if he wouldnt mind a chaperone that is a non family member

rinroo

This is really sad.

I would definatly sit down with your mum and speak to your aunt. At the end of the day, your grandad devoted his time to you and your sister when you were younger, he helped your mum out so why cant she help him out now.

Yes, it is a little unfair that your mum/aunt wont be able to fully relax, but would you rather that than he didn't come at all.

They need to see how this is upsetting you and how much you actually want him there.

To me, it sounds as if they are making excuse after excuse for their own selfish reasons as to why he shouldn't go.

I hope you can sort this out. x

joolesw1972

I've got a tear in my eye, I would give anything to have my lovely Grandad there on my day, I can't believe how unkind your family are being, do they know (esp your mum) how much it means to you to have him share your day? Do you have any other relatives such as a cousin who would be happy to help out? My only other suggestion, if your mum & aunt won't help is a care staffing agency, I'm sure they would be able to supply you with a carer for the day & a night sitter - I understand you want it to be family, but it may be a way for everyone to be happy?
good luck x

Violetta_2

Aw honey this all sounds so terrible, if we are all still around whenever my daughter get's married, (she's only 4 so it better be a long while off) if she want's my dad, her grandad there, there is no way I won't do my darndest to get him there, no matter how awkward it/he is.
What is you're aunt thinking, " sorry pop's know this might be the last family gathering you could be around for but I can't be @rsed to look after you"
Sorry if that sounds really nasty but it's how it looks to me.

sexki11en

I just tried talking to my dad. My mom's nerves aren't good :rolleyes: and she gets wound up and ill easily.

Anyway, I had a long chat with my dad where he wound up telling me to think about everyone else for a change and how it wasn't fair of me to expect them to look after him and not be able to enjoy themselves!!! (seriously) He then said if I carry on he'd hang up - and proceeded to hang up on me.

I really will never forgive them for this.

SK x

nat82

sexk11ten

I think your family are behaving disgracefully, to be honest. How dare someone tell YOU that you must think about other people on your wedding day. It isn't anyone else's day and I think they are being selfish.

This is the most important day of your life so it should be done the way you want it not the way that will enable other so called family members to enjoy themselves.

If your grandad isn't there, will you look back on your day and remember it sadly instead of as the happy day it's meant to be?

I think you should discuss this with people who are willing to be of some help to you - your H2B and his family and your friends. I'm sure that a few people will rally round and help look after your Grandad on your wedding day.

I can can really understand why you feel as though you'll never forgive them.

Why can't people realise that wedding days are meant to revolve around the bride and groom and what they want? This is the kind of attitude that made us cancel our 'big' wedding. I couldn't be done with the pettiness and opinions of people.

Please keep us updated with things.

(((((((((( BIG HUGS ))))))))))

x x x x

sexki11en

joolesw1972 wrote: »

I've got a tear in my eye, I would give anything to have my lovely Grandad there on my day, I can't believe how unkind your family are being, do they know (esp your mum) how much it means to you to have him share your day? Do you have any other relatives such as a cousin who would be happy to help out? My only other suggestion, if your mum & aunt won't help is a care staffing agency, I'm sure they would be able to supply you with a carer for the day & a night sitter - I understand you want it to be family, but it may be a way for everyone to be happy?
good luck x

All your replies have been lovely but I picked this one to reply to..... only because i'd be here all night agreeing with you all lol.

I started thinking about a care agency - but realised that would probably not be best for my grandad. He would likely not be comfortable with a complete stranger looking after him whilst his family partied around him and too right too!

It would be more for my benefit, and much as I want him there, I don't want him there at the expense of his happiness. I think i'm going to have to take this one on the chin and deal with it.

SK x