Would you Lend a Stranger/Neighbour Your Lawnmower?

PasturesNew

ixwood wrote: »

I 2nd the shears idea. Or even a scythe!

I think I'd then get a cheap/small push mower and leave it outside under some plastic to keep it dry.

Or just leave the grass be. The wildlife will appreciate it at least, if not your neighbours.

Do you ever use the space for anything? Seems a waste of the garden when you have so little indoor space. Being outdoors and surrounded by plants and wildlife is uplifting and good for the soul.

I can't leave it outside, I'm not allowed to even hang my washing out.

I don't use it because it's overgrown - and I find lawns pointless because they're either overgrown or too wet to sit on. I do have a folding chair now I could sit on out there, but how pointless that seems: to sit alone on a folding chair on a piece of grass, with the legs slowly sinking into the grass... I just kind of "don't get it". One day I will have a proper garden, with a patio and furniture.... that'll be marvellous.

PasturesNew

ceridwen wrote: »

Eeeek.....weedkiller....that doesnt sit well with ceridwen that...

On a different tack Pastures - I'm beginning to click how you think. So - howzabout turning that into an asset? How about turning the whole thing of "I have Aspergers and I cant relate to people normally - but I have this big money problem" around and look at it as "Okay - I have this - and I feel uncomfortable trying to think of too many things at once - BUT - once I've got the current "crop" of things off my plate - THEN I will write a book about what its like to be me - and maybe I can make some money from it?"

Now think of the assets that you DO have:
- you are literate and intelligent
- you have a high degree of self-awareness
- you have a sense of humour

I'm wondering if you could write a book about this. At the least - it could be an article or two worth? Give it some thought. What do you think?

I've thought about it, but I wouldn't want the public exposure.

I have written a couple of articles, but it's hard opening up to be honest. The pattern of thinking is so alien to most people that they just "don't get it". I am fearful of any form of public recognition.

It's also hard for me to acknowledge that I am different, to be honest. I've always soldiered on in my own little way... never knowing that others are different (it's not me, it's them). And all of this is new to me, that I am different. It's lovely knowing why, but such a waste - and that cuts deep.

ceridwen

,,and the book Pastures? What do you think of that possibility? - or am I talking through the top of my head (errr...not literally I hasten to add).

I think - I know - that many people dont understand any way of thinking other than their own - and sometimes its useful to be able to find out how other people think (and - from this - one can work out how they are likely to act/react to things).

There are many points on the social spectrum people come out - you are obviously right at one end of it and an absolute world away from the sort of person who tries to do lots of things at once/have lots of people constantly around them.

I think I have some understanding of that - I think I have some understanding of people who want to "crowd" their lives.

Myself - I hate having to think of too many to-do projects at once - particularly those involving other people. I need a decent amount of time on my own and could only share a home with someone pretty calm (someone who worried a lot or had a bit of a temper would be impossible - too much like me:D).

So - I think I understand where you're at to a limited extent...

I think a book by you could give useful insight to people to help them to learn how to interact with people with this IYSWIM - its not just a one-way thing of you wondering how to deal with other people - maybe they might be wondering how to back IYSWIM.

<maybe I'd better just go whilst I'm ahead - in case that feels a bit pressurising - its not meant to be.......more of an attempt to solve your money problems - honest>

EDIT: Sorry - see I cross-posted with you.

jessbob

Don't worry about it all, PN.

I think you are brill, and I have not even met you.:j

Craftyscholar

lilac_lady wrote: »

PN - a lot of people (including me) HATE to have workmen around the house. I feel very ill at ease and after exchanging a few words about what needs doing, I leave them to get on with the job. Once they've gone I wonder why I got so uptight.

I agree. I am normally a very chatty person, but I hate having workmen in the house (or working outside) and react in the same way - including wondering why afterwards :rotfl:

Pastures, if this is grass in a complex of flats, can I ask why it is your responsibility rather than the LLs to arrange to get the grass cut?

You already have to plan so you can deal with your own needs, you shouldn't have to take on his obligations as well.

On another point can I thank you for helping us to understand the problems your Aspergers cause you.

ceridwen

That phrase of yours P.N. "pattern of thinking" - you ARE right that many people think differently. It must be difficult realising that there is a majority way of thinking on something - but yours counts as in the minority. Correction - I KNOW its difficult....

In a different context - I can relate to that. I take the strictly logical/pragmatic viewpoint about a couple of VERY important issues and I find it VERY difficult to understand how on earth (literally in my case - ie the Earth/the Planet) that anyone could possibly think any other way. I try (and fail sometimes...:rolleyes:) not to get into arguments with those of the ILlogical persuasion on these things - but, by and large, my decision about them is to steer as clear as possible of them and keep reminding myself that very often the "Majority Mindset" about something can change round visibly - maybe even sometimes quite quickly. The "100th Monkey" effect - suddenly they all think the OTHER way and act the OTHER way to what people do right now. After all - it was only a couple of centuries ago that most people accepted that slavery existed (some would say it still does - ie "wage slavery"). It was only a century ago that most people thought women shouldnt have the vote. Now, of course, the vast majority of us take it for granted that OF COURSE slavery is wrong and OF COURSE women should have the vote - and I'm sitting there wondering what the excuses were that people had for thinking the other way.

Just call me a "drop-in from the 23rd Century";):D - only not TOO often please - dont forget that ceridwen temper:D;)

PasturesNew

ceridwen wrote: »

,,and the book Pastures? What do you think of that possibility? - or am I talking through the top of my head (errr...not literally I hasten to add).

The book ... seems so large. Such an expectation. I think I would feel the weight of responsibility and never feel it was good enough.

One of the traits is to set exceptionally high standards for oneself, which cannot be met.

I should do it, but it's that whole exposure thing really - and organising it, so it flows. Unless I just chunked it up into more of a Manual for Life.

There is little/nothing for adults, an insight into the mind. It's all targetted at kids/coping with your kids with it. So there's a gap.

ceridwen wrote: »

I think - I know - that many people dont understand any way of thinking other than their own - and sometimes its useful to be able to find out how other people think (and - from this - one can work out how they are likely to act/react to things).

There are many points on the social spectrum people come out - you are obviously right at one end of it and an absolute world away from the sort of person who tries to do lots of things at once/have lots of people constantly around them.

I think I have some understanding of that - I think I have some understanding of people who want to "crowd" their lives.

Myself - I hate having to think of too many to-do projects at once - particularly those involving other people. I need a decent amount of time on my own and could only share a home with someone pretty calm (someone who worried a lot or had a bit of a temper would be impossible - too much like me:D).

So - I think I understand where you're at to a limited extent...

I think a book by you could give useful insight to people to help them to learn how to interact with people with this IYSWIM - its not just a one-way thing of you wondering how to deal with other people - maybe they might be wondering how to back IYSWIM.

<maybe I'd better just go whilst I'm ahead - in case that feels a bit pressurising - its not meant to be.......more of an attempt to solve your money problems - honest>

EDIT: Sorry - see I cross-posted with you.

Putting it all down feels like further distancing myself from things/people. It's not that we (ASD) WANT to be alone, it's just that it's better because others just "don't get it" and get annoyed/frustrated. I don't know, it's hard to put yourself out there, even on paper. In a way I want to bury it, but then I find I have to say why I am seeing things in my way, so people realise ... but then I get the feeling that everybody will then view me as some kind of mong (no, I am not politically correct) and will view me as the kind of nutter or lame-o, which I am not because along with my speshulness (as I call it), comes high IQ, exceptionally high ... so there's a complete conflict there between ability-and-ability.

PasturesNew

Craftyscholar wrote: »

Pastures, if this is grass in a complex of flats, can I ask why it is your responsibility rather than the LLs to arrange to get the grass cut?

I have the responsibility of phoning him up to arrange a time for him to come over and do it. That's where the struggle is. It's not that he wouldn't, it's just I don't get round to it, the weather's not right, etc etc. I wake up and think "lawn needs doing", but then put off calling him as it might be a bad time and I have stuff on.

It would have been better, in retrospect, if he'd had a petrol mower, or if it were done by the management company, but I only found out this arrangement after I'd signed up and was there in the place being handed the key.

It's not that he wouldn't do it, I just assume all these barriers, which prevent me organising it by phoning him.

Craftyscholar wrote: »

You already have to plan so you can deal with your own needs, you shouldn't have to take on his obligations as well.

On another point can I thank you for helping us to understand the problems your Aspergers cause you.

My pleasure.... it's an odd one.

SailorSam

That sounds like a good idea that Ceridwen said, a book. If you think it may be too big a project to take on what about doing one or two articles for the womens magazines.
You've said you'd find it difficult because you're not a 'people person', well maybe not in real life, but on paper is different, you don't need to face your audience. It's a bit like the internet, and look at your record here, nearly 14,000 posts, and it's not as if you're writing rubbish (like some....sorry Phil), you've been thanked over 26,000 times.
You have a skill.......use it.

bizteck

I have just bought a house that has been empty for about 2 years so the grass was over a meter high I just went out and bought the cheapest lawnmower from Argos an it worked a charm.. once you cut more than 1/3 off the length af grass it will yellow and die back anyway and I understand the neighbour not lending the lawn mower either as it would ruin it ( that's why I bought the cheapest one )

Also is there a FREECYCLE run by your local council you can ask for a mower there and just give it to someone else when you are done!