Wedding Invitation!

LookingAhead

Think I'm just going to live in sin forever....seems like a lot less hassle...! :rotfl:

queenofthedump

sparkle84 wrote:

I have, but I not a money grabbing person so I would be quite happy with that - wasn't have a go at you Marie but I seem to be getting more and more invites to wedding from people I barely know with very very expensive gift list thats what I was having a pop at.

I never thought you were ( Big Smiles and Hugs)

nearlyrich

We got married in New Orleans, didn't tell anyone, refused to tell anyone who asked about buying us a present what they could buy and we got away without having a do of any description. In fact after the actual wedding we went for a milkshake at the nearby McDonalds and in the evening we went for a diinner cruise on a Mississippi River Paddle steamer.

I agree with everyone who says send your regrets and save your money.

shellsuit

nearlyrich wrote:

We got married in New Orleans, didn't tell anyone, refused to tell anyone who asked about buying us a present what they could buy and we got away without having a do of any description. In fact after the actual wedding we went for a milkshake at the nearby McDonalds and in the evening we went for a diinner cruise on a Mississippi River Paddle steamer.

I agree with everyone who says send your regrets and save your money.

That sounds like bliss to me!

Why worry about everything and everyone else on the biggest and what should be the happiest day of your life?

I panic and worry over anything and everything so I think having a big wedding/reception/party etc would kill me off!

Frugal_Fox

Hi, we got married abroad, and then had a simple blessing on our return. We paid for all our wedding, and my parents in law made a donation towards the cost of the food at the pub for the 'do' after the blessing.

We didn't have a wedding list - but got into 'heaps' of trouble for not having one, in the end we asked those who had asked for the list to 'sponsor' a fence panel, as our garden desparately needed a new fence, and we couldn't afford it. 10 years on, we still have a fantastic fence!!!! The marriage is pretty good too!

I think its bad manners to send a gift list with your invite. I'd rather ask for the info when I rsvp. I like to purchase a gift for the couple - but I'm very bad, and won't always use the list!!! If there is something in my price band I will, and if not, I try to think of something else to get them - garden vouchers can be a good one, cinema vouchers etc...

Good luck with whatever you decide.

PaleScene

We got married fifteen years ago and I think we followed old-time tradition in most ways. The invites were in the 'Mr & Mrs X invite you to the wedding of their daughter x to y' format so having a discreet line about 'wedding list available' meant it didn't come directly from us... Also I was a young'un going into my first proper home so the list was all the traditional utensils and homewares - I dimly remember we also got told off for not having thought of anything expensive to put on there! It was very practical - I still flush my toilet and think fondly of the family member who provided the wooden handle and matching light pull.
But being young and trying to do everything as we should meant that when we drew up lists of maximum affordable numbers for the wedding we felt we had to have all the distant relatives - a few of whom left us without rsvps entirely and didn't turn up.

Just as a contrast - my cousin got married last year. He had been living with his fiancée beforehand so didn't need oldstyle presents. They had a big wedding with lots of guests and didn't feel any kind of imperative to invite all the family which scandalised my grandmother (but I didn't mind - I sent a card and wished him well). So far so good but apparently their 'wedding list' was a fast-catching-on trend nowadays - guests were asked to donate towards activities on their honeymoon, so money was being lined up so they could go scuba-diving and water-skiing and so on.

It's an ...interesting idea but you do wonder if some couple realise how difficult a position it places potential present donors in, because you can be wildly creative on your own budget but there's no getting round naked money!

gilly41

Hi
thanks again for all the posts!
We have decided not to attend and I have sent a polite note today to the brides parents!!
I too think that it is rude to send a list and even ruder to suggest a monetary contribution. But, maybe at 41 and nine years in to my second marriage I am getting a bit old fashioned!!!
xx

poppycracker

I have the opposite problem! We're hoping to get married sometime this year, and I don't know who I can reasonably keep off my list of people I HAVE to invite.......... I'd just RSVP saying I can't make it if I were you. Would just send a nice card or a homemade gift (I do cross stitch things).

lynzpower

PaleScene wrote:

We got married fifteen years ago and I think we followed old-time tradition in most ways. The invites were in the 'Mr & Mrs X invite you to the wedding of their daughter x to y' format so having a discreet line about 'wedding list available' meant it didn't come directly from us... Also I was a young'un going into my first proper home so the list was all the traditional utensils and homewares - I dimly remember we also got told off for not having thought of anything expensive to put on there! It was very practical - I still flush my toilet and think fondly of the family member who provided the wooden handle and matching light pull.
But being young and trying to do everything as we should meant that when we drew up lists of maximum affordable numbers for the wedding we felt we had to have all the distant relatives - a few of whom left us without rsvps entirely and didn't turn up.

Just as a contrast - my cousin got married last year. He had been living with his fiancée beforehand so didn't need oldstyle presents. They had a big wedding with lots of guests and didn't feel any kind of imperative to invite all the family which scandalised my grandmother (but I didn't mind - I sent a card and wished him well). So far so good but apparently their 'wedding list' was a fast-catching-on trend nowadays - guests were asked to donate towards activities on their honeymoon, so money was being lined up so they could go scuba-diving and water-skiing and so on.

It's an ...interesting idea but you do wonder if some couple realise how difficult a position it places potential present donors in, because you can be wildly creative on your own budget but there's no getting round naked money!

Agreed!

A mate of a mate of mine were going on a round the world honeymoon. Although they could "afford" it what they did was ask for donations for "parts" of the honeymoon. They were on a shoe-string budget and offered were "a night in a hostel in India £2 a night" "dinner in nepal £3" that sort of thing. Those who wanted to give, only had to offer very little and at the end of each activity, they took a photo ( ie of the hostel, or the resturaunt etc) and sent a digital pic with a thank you card, or via email to each of the peeps that gave gifts. I thought this was lovely, and so cheap for guests. Good on them :T

gixxerchick_2

This happened to us a couple of years ago.

A work colleague of OH's mum sent us an invite for the reception, along with a wedding gift list with what they would like ppl to buy them, at the bottom of the list it said that if we did'nt want to buy from the gift list then they'd accept a set amount of money!!??

We thought it was really cheeky and we ended up not going, more out of principal i think and we hardly knew the couple anyway.