Wedding Invitation!

snoozer

I did hear of one couple who asked that people didn't buy them presents just paid for the cost of their meal at the reception.

One way to cut the cost of the wedding.

Amanda65

snoozer wrote:

I did hear of one couple who asked that people didn't buy them presents just paid for the cost of their meal at the reception.

One way to cut the cost of the wedding.

Nooooooooooooo - what is the World coming to? How rude is that????? Think I have heard it all now LOl

tyllwyd

When I got married, I didn't like the idea of sending out a list but found that people were asking for it so it seemed better to have one than not to have one.

We bought a present from a wedding list recently, but the bride-and-groom-to-be sent out thank you notes before they'd had the ceremony. That struck me as a bit odd - what if there had been a last-minute change of mind??

shellsuit

Me and OH have been engaged for 3 1/2 years and still can't agree on our wedding.

I'd like to booger off somewhere and do it or in the registry office and then for a quiet meal somewhere - he doesn't mind the R office, but would like a big do for the night time.

My thinking is, if we have a night time do, for the numbers, we would have to invite people we haven't seen in years, people we don't get on with or don't like (some family members) and this all has to be paid from our pockets, which I think is rediculous.

I'd rather get married on the quiet, just me, OH, the children and CLOSE family and friends (people who we see on a reg basis) and have a lovely honeymoon somewhere. (Even just a weekend away I'd be happy with)

If we had a night time do, we wouldn't be able to afford to have a honeymoon.

OK if we had a night time do, people would be able to give cash as a gift which would pay for a honeymoon, but I can't expect that of people, I think its cheeky.

I want to marry because I love my OH, not stand like a mannequin and say 'Hi mwah mwah how are you (WHO are you?!) to people I haven't seen in a long time while entertaining and feeding them at our expense.

I don't agree with wedding lists at all, they say to me - you can come if you bring us something we want.

I want peoples company, not their gifts or their money.

I thought weddings were all about love - sadly nowadays many are just about the money and what people can get which is wrong IMO.

gilly41

Hi
What a lot of replies--- and so many thinking like i do!!!
When i got married to second hubby in 1997----we got married at Gretna Green! It was brilliant- just close family and my kids! There were no pressies as such- just donations(if people wanted to give something or more to the point could afford to!!) to a local charity.
We didnt have a night do or anything but we have both been married before and realised that it is about love and what you can afford not about having a posh/fancy wedding.To me it was a brilliant day and thats what counts!!
xx

crystal_clear

Hi there

I have just had an invite to a wedding from a friend and relative to one of my relatives (if that makes sense lol )

inside the invite stating date time etc etc came a poem that went like this

Date *** is our special date ,
so come with us to celebrate,
regarding pressies. We don't care,
we'd just like you there.

But ......
If you feel you wish to give,
here is an alternative:

As we start our life together,
Like most we have a nest to feather,
But as we nested for sometime,
buying gift would be a crime.

It seems unusual, It may be brash,
But what we'd prefer, would be a little cash.

If your happy to donate,
this we would appreciate,
it would be spent on sandy dune,
taking us on honeymoon.
Thank you


Well I had to laugh when i read this. Its seems a much more quirky way of saying pressies cash or vouchers please as does seem the norm these days.


Good luck whatever you decide to do. But in my Honest opinion if its going to cause you hardship dont go.

Crystal

highguyuk

nabowla: What an excellent idea. A wedding website! Everything you need, links to presents, the reception etc ... fantastic.

Personally, I am some years off marriage but I am of the opinion that wedding lists are a good thing and it is something that has always been done for family weddings. Like most people nowadays, me and my OH will have probably moved in together when we get married and there is no point guests/family/friends wasting money buying presents that we dont need/already have when there are things out there that we want that they could purchase for us.

Thinking about it further, I come from a small family but my OH has a large family and has attended many weddings over the last couple of years alone who she would want to invite. I have no doubt that some of these people I will probably meet for the first time on my wedding day but they are close to my OH and would want to be there to see her on the big day and buy her a present to celebrate.

I completely disagree with big, expensive wedding lists though with luxury items. There should be a wide range of gifts, even if its just a packet of coathangers from Wilkinsons if we are short to give people the option to buy what they can afford. If people wanted to give more than one of present then maybe they could donate towards the honeymoon or house improvements etc, could even donate money via paypal instead of sending money in the post.

At the end of the day, people want to contribute to a wedding or any event usually. Even if its just a £2.99 bottle of wine at an evening meal and should be given the option - an option that wouldnt waste there money and an option that the beautiful couple would benefit from.

Back to the OP, a card, a thankyou for the invitation but no thanks should be more than enough. There is no need to contribute to a wedding list if your not close to them and you dont feel you want to.

$17mma

The problem with not arranging a gift list is you could end up with loads of unused, unwanted gifts. Like we did.

If I am going to get someone a gift I would rather get them something I know that they need, want and or will use rather than wasting my money on something that is gonig to end up in the charity shop or given to someone else, or worse thrown away.

So yes wedding gift list may seem rude but in my opinion they are clever. You get what you need, the guests if they choose to buy a gift ( optional not mandatory) are given a list to which they can buy gifts that will be useful and are much needed by the couple....

All of our wedding gifts are still in boxes in a cupdoard collecting dust. What a waste of money and time....the only reason why we havent thrown them away is the thought that someone spent time and moneyto pick them out... the poblem is if they were buying it for themselves then maybe they would have been used.

If you dont want to buy anything from the wedding list I would say unless you have spoken to the couple and know what they want then dont bother buying anything cause from my experience you may be wasting your money. They may never use it, throw it away or even give it away.

Also I have found from going to weddings, being in weddings is that people buy what they like not what the couple would like, want or need..

So if you are considering a gift.... use their gift list... remember it is not mandatory.. it is just to give you ideas of what they would like should you decide to consider pruchasing a gift.

gingerfurball

When hubby and I got married, we hired a hall before hand and invited all our friends. We had a pot luck supper (everyone brings a dish) and we made our own entertainment...then on our wedding day we had our family (20 in total) my DH said that on our wedding day he wanted to look around the room and know and love everyone there.

We got lots of presents, a few were duplicates but we returned them and got other stuff...no lists.

We recently had an invitation and were actually told what to wear!! It was a themed wedding and you had to follow protocol...we didn't go! I have no problems with lists, but if there is nothing on the list that I could afford then I'd just get something I think they would appreciate and get that.

gingercordial

Is there anyone you could club together with to buy a present? Some of my friends and I have done that for weddings, that way you can put £10-£20 in each and still get something nice.

I'm told sending a wedding list out with the invitation is strictly speaking a breach of etiquette, and it should only be given to those who ask explicitly. Personally I don't mind getting the list with the invitation, but I don't feel obliged to choose from it (or anything at all). I do think that asking for cash is rude (apologies to anyone who has, it's just my personal taste) and the times when that's been what the happy couple wanted, they've had a silly present from me or nothing at all.

OH and I have decided that if we get married we're doing what someone else has suggested and asking for charitable donations if people are desperate to give something.