Ok whats the secret?

frenchconnection200

An Aspiring troll if you ask me!!

MrsPorridge

As others have said things are not all they seem and people do have different priorities an example is my son's friend's mum "couldn't afford for him to go on a school trip" and yet that family have the latest flat screen tv, latest mobile phone and a fairly new car. Its all priorities - we have an old BIG TV, mobile phones which are a couple of years old etc. which are perfectly workable (although I must admit I would love a flat screen TV). I would rather spend money sending my son on school trips and trying to pay off my debts.

Debtoxing

We thought we couldn't afford for me to stay at home either, so I went back to work for a bit. It was the worst mistake I ever made.

And, as it happens, we could afford it. We were paying out £750 a month in debt and interest payments - once we grabbed our finances by the scruff of the neck and stopped wasting money, we found it was perfectly possible to survive on one income. Once we've finished paying those debts off, we'll be the ones swanning around with a new 52" flatscreen television and making everyone jealous!

L.
x

LilacPixie

just because someone appears to be at home alot doesn't mean they don't work. they may be self employed or work from home as I often do.

Georgie4

I know the secret - people like us are paying for their lives and while we go out to work and pay tax , they make a career choice to stay at home

You have to ask who the fools in this scenario are :rotfl:

frenchconnection200

MrsPorridge wrote: »

As others have said things are not all they seem and people do have different priorities an example is my son's friend's mum "couldn't afford for him to go on a school trip" and yet that family have the latest flat screen tv, latest mobile phone and a fairly new car. Its all priorities - we have an old BIG TV, mobile phones which are a couple of years old etc. which are perfectly workable (although I must admit I would love a flat screen TV). I would rather spend money sending my son on school trips and trying to pay off my debts.

This is very true, we don't have flash tv's etc but I do have a car which was brand new when I bought it (I am in my 40's and have spent my life in old bangers) my kids don't want for anything and my debts are under control and decreasing.

A friend of mine whose household income is less than ours and yet lives the high life confided that actually it was all on credit cards but that it just didn't bother her.

I totally agree that it is frustrating when you'd rather be at home with your kids than going to work and other familys seem to manage on one income but I bet there are lots of skeletons and credit card bills in their closets.

Aspiring

natsplatnat wrote:

If anything I think the OP was envious of the women with working partners who could (apparently) afford to stay at home with the children, and would have liked to stay at home - but simply could not afford to!

"Afford" is a matter of perception, surely? Between my husband and I there was a point were we were financially responsible for 7 children between us. (Pre tax credit days).

frenchconnection200 wrote: »

An Aspiring troll if you ask me!!

Why? Because I have a different opinion?
:rolleyes:

nirelandguy wrote:

Oh get of your high horse, the point I was trying to make was, even though me and my OH both go out and work we are worse of than those couples where only 1 works.

I'm not on a high horse, a very down to earth one actually.
You could have made that point without resorting to "women who stay at home while their partners work" comments. A comment which, on a family board, is inflammatory to all those women who do stay at home and who work darn hard and don't deserve to be dismissed as nobodies simply because they do not earn a wage from an employer.
If you both go out to work and you perceive yourselves to be "worse off", it would be far more productive to see how you can achieve more, perhaps by reassessing your budget and priorities (?) than to query why you perceive you have less. It's all about perception at the end of the day.

Georgie4 - as far as your "career" choice comment goes, it does have to be said that being a stay at home parent has no promotional rewards with pay increments, no pension scheme worth a fig, no annual bonus' or paid annual leave. Hardly a "career" :rolleyes:

*Vikki*

If you guys lived near my house you would think we were VERY well off, holidays to spain, four dogs, younger sister has her own horse, two new cars on the driveway. Big massive house.

Little would you all know my parents owe £125k on credit cards and have to keep borrowing off me to make end meet! So you never know! I do agree though, I get very envious of some people who I know have loads of money but dont work?

MyLastFiver

nirelandguy wrote: »

I'm on a day of today, and I have noticed one thing, the amount of women around here who stay at home to look after the children while there partners work.

I live in a working class area, people around here are not doctors/lawyers etc, they are builders/factory workers and the likes.

Yet they all seem to go away reguarly on little breaks, have nice cars, the best clothes, have nights out, some don't even work and go on holidays and have the best of everything. I watched people across the street move in about a month ago, a mother, daughter and grand daughter, none seem to work, yet in the space of a month we have seen new sofa's, house painted, electronic deliveries,not bad for people that don't work.

My OH works, I work yet we can't afford a night in a B&B, and its all well and good saying "Aw they are in debt to the eyes" is the entire street in debt to the eyes? I doubt it, and besides the unemployed can't get credit.

I was just wondering what the secret was, do you know? Someone obviously forgot to tell us as we both work, probably the only couple in the street that do yet we are the worst off and going no where fast.

I can't even say they are pretending to live by themselves and claim benefits for single parents or whatever as we are the only ones who rent, the rest all own, the mind boggles.

I could extend this to work and my own family and they are all not in debt and not really any better of than us salary wise but yet money is no object.

SO WHATS THE SECRET??? GO ON YOU CAN TELL ME

Sorry I haven't read through all of this thread, just the OP, but I detect a bit of the green-eyed monster here.

My missus stays at home with the baby, because we believe it's the right thing to do. We are not on a benefit fiddle, and we do not fund our lifestyle with debt (although we are still paying off debts from our younger and stupider days).

The secret? There isn't one really.

I earn £43000 a year.
We live in a modest but roomy 4-storey 3-bed house in a pretty town in the north of England.
We have a £100000 mortgage.
I drive a £1000 car.
We spend our holidays in Wales or the English seaside.
We have a nice kitchen and bathroom but I did the work myself.
We do have new furniture but bought in the Ikea sale :-)
We have a crappy old telly and see no reason to upgrade to a flat-back one.
I have a beer at the weekend, but £5 for 4 cans from the offie, rather than £2.50 a pint in the pub.

blah blah blah

MissKJ

Sometimes when my debts feel out of control, i just end up earning more to pay, by upping hours/getting promoted. People say, you will be so well off! but all i do is pay debts from when I was younger and should have leaned to live within my means. The more they see you earning, the more they expect you to have in physical terms. It is a hard balance. Fact is, only MY finances matter to me now.