New rules - Does PWC on benefit receive ALL the maintenance?

kelloggs36

does the PWC not feed, clothe or house the children then? Is the PWC supposed to live a life of total scrounging and justifying their every penny to make you feel better? A PWC is as entitled to a life too as well as the children - perhaps she makes sacrifices to pay for her luxuries - perhaps she works herself and pays for everything herself. Don't make snap judgements on what you see - it is often not as it seems.

abt101

kelloggs36 wrote: »

does the PWC not feed, clothe or house the children then? Is the PWC supposed to live a life of total scrounging and justifying their every penny to make you feel better? A PWC is as entitled to a life too as well as the children - perhaps she makes sacrifices to pay for her luxuries - perhaps she works herself and pays for everything herself. Don't make snap judgements on what you see - it is often not as it seems.

First off Kelloggs, I really appreciate your feedback so please don't take this as an attack on you

I just get rather miffed with the fact that I work very hard to house and feed myself, whereas my ex, who could work part-time easily as all children are in school, chooses not to as she has no need to. No need to, because she gets all her rent paid, all her council tax paid, and she receives income support of over £100/wk. Now I understand this £100 is needed to feed and clothe her and her children and pay utility bills. This I would say is about the right amount of money to live on considering she has no rent or ctax to pay.
But hang on... she also recieves another £125/wk from me for child maintenance. Now correct me if I'm wrong but that should be used to help support the children? ie, feed and clothe the children? I know as well as you do that it does not cost over £100/wk to provide food and clothes for 2 children as well as put a bit away for birthdays/christmas, and occassional weekend activities.

I must say that I agree 100% that ALL NRPS should contribute to their childs upbringing financially. However the issue I have is with SOME PWCs using the money selfishly. Example: My ex has asked me on numerous occasions to buy shoes for the children because she can't afford them (don't forget she gets £125/wk from me for just this sort of expense). I then buy shoes for them and the following weekend I get told by the children that Mummy went out and bought herself some new boots from the Ugg shop.

She lives in a rent free house which she gets refurbished for free by the local council. She has a newer car and a bigger TV than me, to mention just a few. Do you see why it makes me angry sometimes??
This country is doing nothing to help get people back to work.
I am even considering giving up work myself.

DUTR

abt101 wrote: »

First off Kelloggs, I really appreciate your feedback so please don't take this as an attack on you

I just get rather miffed with the fact that I work very hard to house and feed myself, whereas my ex,

I must say that I agree 100% that ALL NRPS should contribute to their childs upbringing financially. However the issue I have is with SOME PWCs using the money selfishly. Example: My ex has asked me on numerous occasions to buy shoes for the children because she can't afford them (don't forget she gets £125/wk from me for just this sort of expense). I then buy shoes for them and the following weekend I get told by the children that Mummy went out and bought herself some new boots from the Ugg shop.

She lives in a rent free house which she gets refurbished for free by the local council. She has a newer car and a bigger TV than me, to mention just a few. Do you see why it makes me angry sometimes??
This country is doing nothing to help get people back to work.
I am even considering giving up work myself.

I agree with you not necessarily to the same extent, but is one of the reasons I just pay and go, I know not all PWCs are like that but I am still convinced a lot of cases were just opened to create spite and has nothing to do with the children at all. It is just a shame that there are many that seem to promote this sort of practice, and even when the male plays ball and pays up, it seems that is not enough for some pwc's , seems awfully like mental bullying (which is worse than physical abuse) and the get out clause used? they are doing their best for the children

abt101

DUTR wrote: »

I agree with you not necessarily to the same extent, but is one of the reasons I just pay and go, I know not all PWCs are like that but I am still convinced a lot of cases were just opened to create spite and has nothing to do with the children at all. It is just a shame that there are many that seem to promote this sort of practice, and even when the male plays ball and pays up, it seems that is not enough for some pwc's , seems awfully like mental bullying (which is worse than physical abuse) and the get out clause used? they are doing their best for the children

How many times have I heard that!!
Quite how partaking in Parent Alienation and not being in for pre-arranged pick-ups helps the children I do not know
Your comment about spite I couldn't agree with more. You have hit the nail on the head. Once again not all PWCs are the same but we see a lot of it unfortunately. A friend of my sister is a PWC and the things she says to her that she does make my blood boil! Using the children as pawns in her games is awful in my book but because she is so wrapped up in anger/guilt/frustration she cannot see what affect she is having on the NRP and the kids

Blonde_Bint

:rotfl: I have a crud PWC too guys, (i'm an NRPP) so I hear what your saying. I just look at it like this, I hope what shes doing now makes her happy because some day she is going to have to find herself another hobby. The kids are only getting older.

You give me the scenario and we have probably been through it:D some stuff would make Jerry Springer's hair curl:eek: i'm making jokes now but there were times when life truly was not worth living because of the misery she caused (to clarify this is MY PWC and not a dig at PWCs) i see light at the end of the tunnel now the childs eyes have been opened and he knows what she is. and Zara says that if he wants when he is 16 the decision of where he wants to live will be his:j something to look forward to. I suppose in a way i'm sort of wishing his life away well just a couple more years of it really. sad thing is in a conversation with my OH he said that the child is wishing this also, I never knew that so I think he may live with us when he is 16. that would be nice and we wouldnt have to live always wondering when we were being taken to court again lol:D

kelloggs36

If she is getting income support then she should NOT be getting all the money from you - only the first £20 at the moment.

Zara33

abt101 wrote: »

She lives in a rent free house which she gets refurbished for free by the local council. She has a newer car and a bigger TV than me, to mention just a few. Do you see why it makes me angry sometimes??
This country is doing nothing to help get people back to work.
I am even considering giving up work myself.

Can you let me know which council this is, because i would love to get a house in that area

LizzieS_2

kelloggs36 wrote: »

If she is getting income support then she should NOT be getting all the money from you - only the first £20 at the moment.

I think the amounts are about right. Not sure of the current IS allowance rates for CS1 cases, but using tax credits instead minimum income would be around £203. £225 total suggests she is only gaining £20pw and her IS has been reduced to £100 due to the maintenance.

kelloggs36

Income support is different now - it will only be the amount for her - any other money for the children comes from tax credits. Not sure how £100 per week is the correct amount for IS.

abt101

kelloggs36 wrote: »

If she is getting income support then she should NOT be getting all the money from you - only the first £20 at the moment.

Yes I understand, BUT the CSA sends all the maintenance I pay to her don't they?
That is my point. They are trusting her to tell them that she is recieving it. Like she is going to do that!:mad: